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I Wish This Problem Of Mine Can Just Fade Of.

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4 months ago

I am doing this right now, actually I don't feel really good when it comes to my own thoughts just like thinking about things in this world. It only started when I left work, so many problems came to my mind and I didn't know where to start and where to leave. I don't tell my partner, that lately I've been having anxiety attacks because I don't want her to worry even though I know that's where my secret is going. Now I hope I don't have an article because I really want to sleep but I can't because I have to earn money. I need to be strong even for a moment, I need to pursue until I finish this.

With so many things troubling my mind, I don't know if this is right or wrong. I feel so useless, I feel so useless about things. I knew it was wrong, that it was so wrong to think like this but I couldn't stop it. There isn't a time, and a day that I don't ask myself if this is still right. I don't want to add to my partner's problems and expenses, I don't want to be a burden on my family. I often think, where am I going to get funding for everything? How do I tell my partner that I want to give up? How can I face her again with a smile on my lips? That I laugh without thinking? Because when I act, I feel that my act is very wrong.

I want to cry and tell her that I'm very lucky, I'm very lucky that despite the weight of my feelings and despite things, she's still there. She treats me like a baby when she knows I'm not okay, she pretends to be a baby himself every time he knows I'm not feeling well.

When she notices something that is not right in my behavior, she hugs me tightly and always asks how I am. She will ask me different questions that you think she is an investigator, so that she knows that I am okay and that I am not hiding anything. Sometimes I laugh at myself, in the motivational articles that I do to inspire others, it turns out that I am down despite everything. I'm the one who's losing hope, I'm the one who's struggling to stand up.

I feel like my article is too dramatic today, sorry I just vented out. It's very hard on my side, especially since I don't know what to do to start again, because since I started working, all my money and savings have been used for expenses everyday.

I hope that when this month ends, I will slowly be able to stand up again. Slowly I can start again and slowly I try again. It's funny that somehow, even when I'm down and confused about everything, I still manage to smile and be okay. I am about to enter hive, I hope that when I enter hive, it will also be one of those who will help me. I have too many goals and wishes this month, but then again. I will prioritize the things I need to spend and the things I need to pay so that I can somehow help. Because nowadays, especially if you don't have a job, it is very difficult to earn. I don't want to leave my job, but my health can't handle it and I'm very anemic.

I will not ask for too much, but to be successful and have a good future. Right now, I don't feel okay. But time will come, everything will be fine. I can laugh without a problem, I can smile without thinking, and most of all, I will be happy without forcing it. Right now, I'm focusing on my self improvement, especially being strong in the middle of the crisis.


Final Thoughts

The joy will come back to me, not yet but I hope so. I don't want to be negative. It's true that sometimes I was negative about everything, it's true that I cried once. It's true that sometimes I don't feel like I'm okay, right now the only thing I can do is help myself to be positive about everything. Aja!

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4 months ago
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Comments

One of these days you will see that happiness you long for

$ 0.01
3 months ago

Yes po sis,aybe late pa now hehe

$ 0.00
3 months ago

Think happy thoughts, our mind can be tricked. Positivity attracts positivity, there is good there just look for the good things, it is what I do.

$ 0.01
3 months ago

Yes po kuya, thank you sa tips ❤️

$ 0.00
3 months ago

I hope everything goes well. Just pray and everything will light up. It's all just a phase, just let the wave come rushing through it will become at peace in time.

$ 0.01
3 months ago

Thank you po ❤️

$ 0.00
3 months ago

Just pray langga. Everything will be fine. Lahat ng mga challenges dumadaan lang langga. Hindi yan sila nag i-stay kaya be brave lang lagi langga.

$ 0.01
3 months ago

Thank you ate, yes po, magihing brave po ❤️

$ 0.00
3 months ago

Pray lang tayo sis, masasaan bah matatapos din yang mga problema natin, kasi nandyan c God, have faith in him, wala tayong ibang weapon kundi ang prayer,i pray for you also sis.

$ 0.01
3 months ago

Si ate Jo bato? Yung Miss Jo?

$ 0.00
3 months ago

Hindi po hehe,

$ 0.00
3 months ago

Ay, akala ko same mayo kasi Jo tin sya 🤣

$ 0.00
3 months ago

I am so sorry to know about your anxiety. Yeah, I do have anxiety too but tryna to fight it because it is just a hindrance to my daily routine. I hope you feel better!

$ 0.01
4 months ago

Thank you! Yes I will po ate ❤️

$ 0.00
3 months ago

One of these days you will see that happiness you long for

$ 0.00
3 months ago

Now, it is still hard for you but I know that you can overcome that sis. Kahit mahirap, wag papatalo ha! Laban lang hanggang gumaan na ang lahat

$ 0.01
4 months ago

Kamusta kana sis? Musta likod mo?

$ 0.00
3 months ago

Babalik ulit sa laboratory this week sis, Wala pa ding pagbabago Yung pain eh

$ 0.00
3 months ago

That's life ses . Di pwede lagi tayong masaya pero okay lang yan. Wag na mastress. Inood mo ng movie yan then write anything na lang dito or sa Hive hihih.

$ 0.01
4 months ago

Malapit na sis, 6 days nalanv welcome hive nako

$ 0.00
4 months ago

yey!! galinga mo doon ha wait ka namin be

$ 0.00
3 months ago

Yes ate!

$ 0.00
3 months ago

You will be fine beb. Rest and take it easy. Don't overthink that much. Hugs to you

$ 0.01
4 months ago

Yes po ate

$ 0.00
4 months ago

Whatever you're feeling now, know that they are all valid. There will always come a time when we feel suffocated as anxiety keeps on visiting our frame. With a lot of things going on around in our head, it's so hard for us to breathe. I guess one thing that could help you unload the baggages you're carrying is for you to vent them out to someone you trusted a lot. Sometimes, the best way to unload the heaviness inside out hearts is when we have someone to listen to us.

$ 0.01
4 months ago

It's hard for me to open up since before I do that I'm crying first then fall asleep afterwards

$ 0.00
4 months ago

Most of the time, crying helps as well. It will help unload the heaviness in our hearts too especially when we lost words to express what we feel inside. Hang in there, pray, God will always he there for you.

$ 0.00
4 months ago

You can overcome that, sis. Just hold on to yourself. ❤

$ 0.01
4 months ago

Yes sis, I will po

$ 0.00
4 months ago

It's so sad makabasa ng ganito bunso, lahat talaga tayo may mga problemang dinadala pero nasa sa atin na yun kung paano e handle. Pray lang talaga katapat sa lahat and , mas okay din na e open up mo sa partner mo kung anu man yung mga negative thoughts para mas gumaan yung pakiramdam mo.

$ 0.01
4 months ago

Okay lang naman sakin if ever hindi ate, ayokorin kasi sabihin kung ano ung nga bagay minsan na nagpapabigat rin sa nararamdaman ko. Hirap mag open up ng ganerns ay

$ 0.00
4 months ago