FAIL (First Attempt In Learning)

“I’m afraid to fail. I don’t want the people around me to get disappointed with me.”

I understand. It’s scary to fail the people we love the most. It’s scary to feel abandonment from people who trust us the most. Its scary to lose a battle over and over again. You're afraid to fail because people will judge you. You're afraid to fail because people might see you as a failure or they might look down on you. But you know what, there’s nothing wrong with failing. Failure is a part of life. If you don’t fail, you don’t learn if you don’t learn, you’ll never change. You just have to see failure as the beginning but never entertain it as an end.

Failure is a part of life.

Back in 2019, I was in one of the most emotionally dark places of my life. I was ready to embrace my college journey with fun ang optimism. Together with my senior high friends we planned to start college at the same university. Of course, we didn’t want to limit our options into one, so we applied to another university, passed the requirements, and shared reviewers or resources with each other. Several weeks passed, result came out. Reality slapped me and woke me up from the dream. I failed the college entrance exam in both universities . I didn’t even have a courage to tell my parents that I failed them, but I had to. I was ashamed, disappointment, pathetic and useless. It was hard to cope with failure. I suddenly lost my passion at everything and started lost appetite, always been thinking about my future, what to do next? how I will be able to succeed in life if ever I cannot go to college. Two months passed, and I just spent it for nothing. It’s funny how a simple entrance exam or failure could lead you to gloomy days. It appeared to be minor for some, but it made me wander with a heavy heart and mind.

Until one day, I woke up feeling fresh and new. I told myself that failure is completely normal and acceptable. In fact, we can use it as a motivation to strive harder. Life doesn’t stop just because you failed. Life stops when you start giving up with nothing else to do. Failing is part of winning. Today I consider failing as an opportunity to be more than a winner. I am no longer afraid to fail for good or bad. Currently, I’m still pursuing my dream to become an engineer. I have decided to continue my dream into a college with no entrance exam because life must go on. Don’t let your fear of failure control you. Don’t let your fear of failure dictate how you are supposed to live.