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Here I am again, dealing with another mental breakdown I thought I just settled with a month ago. But I am wrong as always because I only assume that I have come to terms with it. But just this morning, when I saw one of my friend's post online, the feeling creeps in again like someone from the distant past craving my attention. This feeling is no ordinary anymore, it doesn't have the same strategy to persuade me rather it comes with a new plan persistently trying to win my attention.
I used to be the yes- person or the go-to person. I make myself available for friends and family that needs help and asks favor for me to do. At first, I didn't have much to do and I was bored so I say 'yes'. I say 'yes' to them because my conscience wouldn't let me sleep when I don't agree or abide with what they asks me to do. I keep saying "yes" until my personal routine is affected. I keep nodding even when I'm not happy doing it anymore. I keep smiling, setting aside doing personal stuff for friendly matters.
You see, doing a favor for family and friends give you a satisfying feeling. A relief that you have somehow unloaded someone's baggage. Or you have lessen someone's errands, you have save them time and effort.
But someone would whisper on our ears when we are doing something for others. When we are helping other people, a voice would naturally come to question if that someone is qualified for our help. Is there qualification for helping? You wouldn't say yes, right? Of course, helping doesn't have qualification but unconciously we categorized people that needs help. We categorize them by urgency- if this person needs help immediately, by their relationship towards us- we tend to help more those who are closer to our heart, and by the possibility of that person to return the favor one day.
We do have a lot of reasons for helping. Sometimes we help because it is what our heart's desire. Sometimes we help to post and to boost our moral image. We help because we hope that one day when we need help, somebody would also come to our rescue too.
But when someone would continuously come for help from you and would most likely abuse your kindness, that is when you have to cut ties with whatever relationship you have with that person. It is okay to help from time to time but learn to also draw the line. Help yourself first before helping others.
I saw a post that says, "Never stop being kind and giving just because you met a person that is abusing". That is not the word for word quote but the thought is somehow like that. I find the quote too good to be true. It is expecting you to be an angel or a saint. Our human nature would most likely want to protect ourselves after being abused. We would want to slow down a bit in helping too and choose the people that are worthy to be helped.
Helping is really an act of kindness. It is rare nowadays to see true people helping other people. A lot of people would use helping as a way for them to be praised by a lot of people. It is contrary to the bible said which is to not let your right hand know what your left hand did. For that reason, I have high respect for people who help without wanting to be noticed or acknowledged.
When we help or do favors for others, let us all be reminded to not expect something in return because other people don't have the same kind heart as ours.
Until then. Thank you for reading!
*Lead Image is from Unsplash.com
Halos ganyan din nabasa ko sa isang reflection kahapon. That some people are just trying to do good because they want to be good in God's eyes. Yung para bang hindi sincere and kahit na ganun, God sees through us. So balewala din yung bait-baitan. Same with helping. As long as may hidden intentions in helping and in doing good, it is not right in God's eyes.