Unspoken truth: We categorize the people that needs helping.

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Avatar for Murakamii.7
3 years ago

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Here I am again, dealing with another mental breakdown I thought I just settled with a month ago. But I am wrong as always because I only assume that I have come to terms with it. But just this morning, when I saw one of my friend's post online, the feeling creeps in again like someone from the distant past craving my attention. This feeling is no ordinary anymore, it doesn't have the same strategy to persuade me rather it comes with a new plan persistently trying to win my attention.

I used to be the yes- person or the go-to person. I make myself available for friends and family that needs help and asks favor for me to do. At first, I didn't have much to do and I was bored so I say 'yes'. I say 'yes' to them because my conscience wouldn't let me sleep when I don't agree or abide with what they asks me to do. I keep saying "yes" until my personal routine is affected. I keep nodding even when I'm not happy doing it anymore. I keep smiling, setting aside doing personal stuff for friendly matters.

You see, doing a favor for family and friends give you a satisfying feeling. A relief that you have somehow unloaded someone's baggage. Or you have lessen someone's errands, you have save them time and effort.

But someone would whisper on our ears when we are doing something for others. When we are helping other people, a voice would naturally come to question if that someone is qualified for our help. Is there qualification for helping? You wouldn't say yes, right? Of course, helping doesn't have qualification but unconciously we categorized people that needs help. We categorize them by urgency- if this person needs help immediately, by their relationship towards us- we tend to help more those who are closer to our heart, and by the possibility of that person to return the favor one day.

We do have a lot of reasons for helping. Sometimes we help because it is what our heart's desire. Sometimes we help to post and to boost our moral image. We help because we hope that one day when we need help, somebody would also come to our rescue too.

But when someone would continuously come for help from you and would most likely abuse your kindness, that is when you have to cut ties with whatever relationship you have with that person. It is okay to help from time to time but learn to also draw the line. Help yourself first before helping others.

I saw a post that says, "Never stop being kind and giving just because you met a person that is abusing". That is not the word for word quote but the thought is somehow like that. I find the quote too good to be true. It is expecting you to be an angel or a saint. Our human nature would most likely want to protect ourselves after being abused. We would want to slow down a bit in helping too and choose the people that are worthy to be helped.

Helping is really an act of kindness. It is rare nowadays to see true people helping other people. A lot of people would use helping as a way for them to be praised by a lot of people. It is contrary to the bible said which is to not let your right hand know what your left hand did. For that reason, I have high respect for people who help without wanting to be noticed or acknowledged.

When we help or do favors for others, let us all be reminded to not expect something in return because other people don't have the same kind heart as ours.

Until then. Thank you for reading!

*Lead Image is from Unsplash.com

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3 years ago

Comments

Halos ganyan din nabasa ko sa isang reflection kahapon. That some people are just trying to do good because they want to be good in God's eyes. Yung para bang hindi sincere and kahit na ganun, God sees through us. So balewala din yung bait-baitan. Same with helping. As long as may hidden intentions in helping and in doing good, it is not right in God's eyes.

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2 years ago

Yung mga tao lang talaga ang maloloko or deceived but not God.

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2 years ago

Korek. Dapat nga gagawan ko article yun kaya sinave ko yung rrflection kaso di ko oa nagagawan. Hehe

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2 years ago

There are a lot of people in this earth, who never accept this fact that once you helped them, they never stops to backbite. Surely helping someone is the most kind act but sometimes we need to stop to do so . There are some people who continuously deny and hurt to that people who once helped them।

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3 years ago

True enough! That is why we should choose the people we help

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3 years ago

I feel you ganun din ako, kaya ngayon as mush as possible kung labag talaga sa kalooban ko, i will say no, lalo na kung inaabuso na nila ako.

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3 years ago

At least honest ka sis diba. God won't bless you if labag sa kalooban mo yung pagtulong.

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3 years ago

I agree with you sis, supposed to be, helping others should not have any qualification or gauge, but we must know when or where to draw the line so that we don't get abused. Because whether we like it or not, some are abusive.

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3 years ago

Truth sis. May iba nadadala na ayaw na lang tumulong kasi mapang abuso yung iba.

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3 years ago

Oo, meron din patuloy pa rin kahit inaabuso na hehe

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3 years ago

it requires a lot of discernment to really know who is deserving of our help and who is not

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3 years ago

And when we go through the time of discernment, the opportunity to help might not be available anymore.

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3 years ago

I helped a lot but never expect something in return. But if they give it back, I would be grateful. But as you said, some people would abuse our act of kindness, our capabilities to lend a helping hand. It's not our fault anymore. What matters more is we help them.

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3 years ago

Awww. It is not our business to think about anymore. That is a nice point of view.

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3 years ago

Help because your heart wants to help. We all have different perspective in life it is in us on what is the intention for that help. Sometimes kailangan din nating isiaisip na kung kaya mo pa bang gawin ang tulong ng hinihingi ng iba. Isipin din ang sarili baka sa huli nasasaktan na.

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3 years ago

Yes, it is better not to help kung hindi naman talaga bukal sa kalooban mo.

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3 years ago

It is not helping anymore when we decided to expect from people we have helped. We should help and take our eyes off it instead of expecting reward from them.

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3 years ago

Ahhh. That is true Princess. Thanks for stopping by.

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3 years ago

Help others only because you want to, don't let anyone take advantage of you

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3 years ago

Short but concise and wise. Thank you for reading.

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3 years ago

Kung ilang beses mo na natulungan yung tao siguro there are times to say no as well for them to learn how to handle things on their own.. it's not selfish it's a way of letting them explore their capabilities instead on keep relying help from someone else.

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3 years ago

Yas! Parang let's help them fish than constantly give them fish.

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3 years ago

tama sis.minsan kasi sa sobrang kabaitan mo naabuso kana nila.ito yung laging nangyayari sa akin kasi nga likas akong maawain kasi naiisip ko paano pag ako ung nanghingi ng tulong,so my iba talaga na inaabuso na nila ung kabaitan mo.Till I learn my lesson then I learn to say No kahit my maitutulong ako pero syempre sa mga piling tao lang.Yung iba kasi di nila deserve tulungan

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3 years ago

Awww help wisely sis. Be careful who you extend help with talaga.

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3 years ago

Tama sis. Sinasalang muna Para di magiging kawawa after

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3 years ago

Help when you want to not because you are being emotionally blackmailed to!

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3 years ago

Oww hahaha that hits home, Uncle Ed! Sometimes, we only help because of our conscience and not whole-heartedly.

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3 years ago

I know what you mean !

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3 years ago

I couldn't agree more. Pinaka dabest parin yung tutulong ka without expecting something in return. Tutulong ka kasi gusto mong tumulong pero inaamin ko sis, namimili din ako ng pauutangin talaga, masyado na kasing abusado talaga yung iba.

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3 years ago

True sis. Pautang and help at your own risk talaga.

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3 years ago

Truth is always true. Let it not be said and let it be said. I like to read such discussions because something new is added here.

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3 years ago

Awww. Thank you for reading my friend!

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3 years ago

This is true. If we can help then why not, but don't help because to put in your mind that one day i can asked this person for the returns of my help its a nono. We help and it's up to them if they will give us a help also in return.

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3 years ago

True! Expectations would definitely lead to disappointments.

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3 years ago