Life These Days

December 4| Sunday

Hi. It's been a while. The last time I posted here was maybe more than a week ago. Life happened. Though the internet connection wasn't a problem, I wasn't able to spend time here as I was experiencing an existential crisis. What? Haha.

I was at my lowest. I often feel this whenever my birthday is approaching. The feeling of missing out also never helped. I feel sorry for myself. I'm still in the face where I'm trying to adapt to my new work environment. I'm still longing for my previous work. The activities, the people, and my life there is what's always in my head. I have a lot of "what ifs". I wanted to stay there. I wanted to be there again but I have a new reality now.

While I am teaching kids all day every day, my workplace held a big event. It was most-awaited and everybody was looking forward to it. The office where I belong before was in charge. Our boss is the overall chairperson. I remember how we were stressed back then when we held a virtual meeting with representatives from the ten other universities and state colleges. Yes, I missed the mini-SCUAA. The pressure, the fun, the stress, and the feeling of being an ant -always busy. Nevertheless, I felt happy because they successfully hosted the event.

The school activities were also overwhelming. There's a new order that prohibits schools to conduct activities on weekdays so as not to affect the regular classes. However, it is a burden to teachers. Saturdays and Sundays are supposed to be rest days but teachers are still in school for scouting, intramurals, and other extra-curricular activities.

Paperwork is overwhelming enough yet the system still keeps on bombarding tasks for teachers. They might be thinking were superheroes. We barely have time to rest, what more social life? Maybe if I entered the system early and without a boyfriend, maybe ill die as a single lady. Looking at the tasks that the teachers are expected to do, there won't be time left to entertain suitors. Haha.

I'm yet to receive my salary but the bills already piled up. There are a lot of activities in the system which ask for money from the teachers. It would have been good if our salary is already in our hands but no. It would be received three months from now? Maybe. The teacher only looks appealing on the surface. The stereotypes about stable income and the tantamounting benefits are surely attractive but in the bottom line, there lies millions of paperwork and a lot of responsibilities. And only a few survive. I don't know yet if I would be able to pull it off.

Ohh. I'm always here for complaints. Hehe. I'm sorry. I know I should be grateful. But there are unfair situations that call for rants. I'm thankful really. Humans just have to let out the negatives so they won't drown us. Hehe. I'm spreading it to all of you who happen to read this. I wish you all a good life.

Until then.