For me

Warning: This is not about you.

When you are sad, don't listen to music at least not sad songs. Don't feed your sadness.

Tonight is one of those nights. The starry nights that reminds us how beautiful is it to look at the moon and the stars above. But I remember the song 'Talking to the Moon' by Bruno Mars, the lines goes 'I know you're somewhere out there, somewhere far away. I want you back', then I remember my lover whose far away. Nevermind, talking to the moon and hoping he's on the other side, let's just not watch the starry night tonight.

Sadness, I think is living inside of us. Whether it is fast asleep, taking a nap or actively working out inside of us. There are just some scenarios or things that triggers our sleeping or napping sadness. But without the triggers, we feel okay. We're friends with happiness that our friend, sadness, cannot get a hold of us.

Acording to google, 'Sadness is an emotional pain associated with, or characterized by, feelings of disadvantage,loss,despair, helplessness, disappointment and sorrow.' We all do have time when we are sad and we all have different reason for being sad. It may be one of the things mentioned above or a mixture of disappointent and helplessness for example.

These past few days, I've been feeling sad. Sad about my job. Sad about my health. Sad about being alone. I mean I'm sad because I'm not hitting my target. I'm not what I wanted to be and I'm not where I wanted to be. I'm sad because I saw people leaving. I'm sad because I sense change. I'm not friends with change. It scares me.

How sad?

I'm sad that while I'm on classes, my tears fall first like a little drizzle then like a river free-flowing. Last night, someone saw me, saw my tears flowing while having classes.

I'm sad to the point that I cry even on a simple, 'How are you?' and 'What's wrong?'. I cry maybe because I seldom hear that or I only hear that after I cry. No one ever knew all along that I wasn't fine.

I'm sad over little things. I'm sad when I see things differently. I'm sad when I see things I'm used to be familiar to.

I'm sad when I hear songs, songs that would remind me of someone, songs that remind me of a memory and songs that tells exactly how I feel.

I'm sad that even my hair falls terribly too. I'm afraid I'd get bald. I'm sad that even my weight leaves me too. I'd be skin and bones.

I'm sad because even here I can't stop thinking and writing about how sad I am. I hate to expose vulnerability but I'm afraid if I don't do so I might lose my sanity. I write my sadness here in the hopes that I'll be able to pour and leave it all here.

I want to cry but I have things to do.

Its hard to pray.

All the motivations are meaningless.

*Now, you may find this long and boring but you can skip and go on..

Sadness is hard. Nobody would want to be with you when you are sad. Only few people could really put up to anyone else's drama because as we grow older, we have little to no tolerance for drama.

When is it okay not to be okay?

All of us are familiar with this. It's a title of a famous Korean drama and it is half part of Boy Abunda's question during the Binibining Pilipinas 2021 coronation night. But really when is it okay not to be okay? From time to time, we get burned out, pressured and discouraged as we battle to win and achieve what we want in life. We sometimes feel strange, not feeling like our real selves and not motivated to do what we usually do. This results to unproductivity that sometimes we hate. But, let me tell you this, all that you feel is valid. Pressured, burned out,sad, discouraged and lazy. It is normal and it is okay to have a bad day.

When is not okay to be 'not okay'?

It's not okay to be not okay when you are letting the negative consume you. It's okay to be sad and have a good cry but you can't be friends with sadness. You have things to do, things that needs your energy, things that need your sanity, things that need you. Get up, move and cry again at night when you need to.

Should you? Should you not.

These are the ways that help me cope with sadness. It doesn't really eliminate the sadness totally but at least you feel fine for a long period of time. Note that this may not work for you.

First, understand that life in general is unfair so cut the idea that you are the most pitiful person.

Number two, help yourself. Snatch yourself from sadness and run away from sadness. Learn a new hobby or do the things you've been meaning to do. Move!

Number three, don't feed your sadness. We have a habit of listening to sad songs when we are sad. It's good. It's a great way to feel pain. Pain demands to be felt after all. But until you have something to do, starve sadness and don't give in.

Number four, it's great idea to share your sadness to family and friends but we can't do that all of the time. Family and friends too get sick of our unending sorrows and they have their concerns too.

Number five, when all else is said and done and seems to be ineffective. Sleep. Sleep a lot. Sleep your sadness away. I think our emotions are triggered more when we are lack of sleep.

Of course, prayer should not be our last resort. Prayer works. Even when we think God is turning a blind eye on our sadness, He is working. Our sadness and struggles are for the purpose of a greater glory. That is when He will lift us up, we could have a powerful testimony.

So, quit thinking that you are hopeless. Start romanticizing your life and don't be friends with sadness too much. Savor happiness but don't get attached to it. Understand that the wheel has to step on the mud too.

Thank you for reading folks. The next time sadness visits you. Slam your doors shut and lock it. Not today!

But if today, you are happy, then, clap your hands.