Day Ten: Bestfriend

May 23, 2022

Back in the day, when someone would ask me who my best friend is, I would tell that it was God. Hmmm. I was a bit idealistic then and in showbiz. I would also consider my mom my best friend.

But now that I'm older. I don't consider them my best friend anymore. I don't tell my mom everything. I don't cry in front of her and I don't tell her my problems. Same with God, there are times that I don't tell Him my problems as I know that He already knows about them.

When I was a kid, I had a neighbour who is the same age as me. We were classmates since elementary. We were playmates too. Her mom considers me her daughter too. She stays at our house and I also hang out at their place. In the morning, I would fetch her and wait for her so that the two of us would go to school together. During my days as a grade five student, she is the best friend that I write about when our teacher told us to write something about best friends in our formal theme notebook.

During high school, I enrolled in a different school. One which is away from my parents. I lived with my aunts and I had a different life from my best friend. There I made friends with my classmates that are still evident now. But my happiness there was short-lived as I needed to come home and enrol at the high school nearby. There I realized that my best friend already had a new best friend. She replaced me because I wasn't there. Ahhh

Even so, the bond remained the same. We still share stories, problems and aspirations in life this time with four other people who happened to be our classmates too since then. I and my childhood friend went to the same uni, stayed in the same boarding house and enrolled on the same courses and major. That is when we overcame all the gaps that were formed during the year when I wasn't around.

She is my sister from another mother. Her mom also cares about me. But ever since she lost her mom, I felt like a part of her also died. She never confided in me like how she confided in her boyfriend. I felt jealous that time because I should be the one whom she can run to as I know her struggles and I know her mom too. But she somehow treated us like we were just the normal people who attended her mom's wake. That's when I realized that death is really painful and that it makes a heart change. But I never held it against her. I accepted her decision and go on in life forgetting what happened. I guess it would work better that way. And now, I realised that I made the better decision.

My circle is small but I don't consider anyone my best friend anymore. My childhood friend knows a lot about me before as I share almost everything with her but now I kind of laid low. I only share what I feel like sharing as at times I feel like the more they know about me, the more I give them the power to hurt me. So, I only chose what I share.

That's about it, friends. I got no best friend.

*lead image is from unsplash.com