Where the Autumn leave goes?

Wonders on how this world started to go in daze,

One time you are just sitting peacefully and highly intoxicated on the triumph you had, yet the next day seems like everything is on the verge of deterioration, it's like you meet the downfall moments, the conquest, the breakdown, the triumph that just collapse in a split of time, and you found yourself getting lost...

The non-stop notions that circling your mind that seems so aggravating and makes you a chaotic mess, like no one else wanted you, no one to cry on, no one to hear you out, to ask for a help, to have a shoulder to lean on, it seems that you are alone by yourself not knowing where to go to, not knowing where you want to, not knowing where to place yourself just to escape this feeling you loathed the most,

So you started to wonder, you started shut doors to those you think that might hurt you, you just let yourself took the path where they so called destiny let you without any companion

It's a bit strenuous feeling everytime you wonder on paths that seems so full of miseries, especially when the only companion you have is your own self, you tried and tried just to find home on every places that you crossed, until you started to realized that no place can make you feel at home, you wanted to go back, but you don't know how, it seems that you traveled so far that you might get lost again on going back, so you just settled on this, being a stubborn and hard headed, not minding everyone and you just focusing on yourself and started to built walls, yes that's the thing you keep on doing...

Instead of making a home you built high walls so you won't get hurt, so you won't let anything or anyone enters your life again, you are afraid to open up yourself again, to treat them as home again because you are scared... And just one day...

You realized that you don't need a place or someone to feel like home, because you, yourself is your own home, the warmth of being alone is ironic yet you found a peace within you...

Just like an autumn leave that falls out to its home where it blooms and lived, however all of a sudden became astray on the puff of the breeze, letting itself to be fled by the wind, it's a scary destination, there's so many obstacles to go through

Seems a little dreadful to be on an aviation where the pilot is omitted, just your existence is the only companion, afraid that you might get hurt or might be on crashed yet here you are still trying and keep on surviving, you just took those places you go through as your resting one and go and keep on wondering again.

Just one thing for sure that you aren't in your down fall you are just get lost on the comfort, you are used to be on just rainbows and sunshines, and when you meet the rain and storms, you felt so defeated but remember you aren't defeated, you are just lost starts to wondered

Just like the little autumn leaf, it's really don't just fall, however, it flew and wonder, until the little autumn leaf find it's way home again...

It's been ages haha kidding maybe months, I don't know, really, I just find myself waking up one morning and tired to even starts to write something, I just wrote on my diary some stuffs I wanted and felt on these past few days but I really stop writing on this site, I just don't have a will also to interacts on socials, I just found myself socializing on people who first to talk to me and not minding to start a conversation on people who firstly doesn't initiate talk on me, maybe I got so busy on some stuffs and also I lessen my screen time and go on focus in my offline world, but here I am decided to come back again on writing, it feels like a fresh start again to me, I missed this... Hehez my apology for being missing in action for months...

Good afternoon my dearest skies, how are you all? It's been for so long without me interacting here, gosh I missed this, it's just, my schedule are so messed up including how my life is haha kidding but yeah half meant, gosh I miss you all, hehez it's good to be back I hope I go back on my daily track hehez good to be here again...

So yeah, by the way just wrote this piece of mine very metaphor I think hahaha I'm just a living emotional wreck these past few days so maybe I just go on writing my thoughts here again, so hope you enjoy everyone...

lead image source:

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/unrealistic--422916221236100489/

Image source:

https://www.pinterest.com/yumiikoii/black/

https://www.flickr.com/photos/154507842@N04/38260822922

https://quotesgram.com/being-lost-quotes/

http://www.picturequotes.com/sad-quote-about-love-lost-1-picture-quote-610956

Enjoy the rest of the day my dearest skies, stay safe and keep yourself always hydrated, have a happy Tuesday to all... 🤗