One of those Phantom rain drops

We all have those almosts in this life, those almosts are actually those that we did enjoyed the most yet ironically also the one who tainted us the pain and give chaos to the idea of hoping, it just gives us the feels of unexpected twists that strike our beliefs and almost are always followed by disappointments...

Ever heard of that word phantom rain? Well if you don't then, let me just tell you in a simple scientific explanation, phantom rain is just a rain drop coming from the clouds that never had a chance to hit the surface, it's more like on the process of evaporation.

So yeah being so curious I thought of that phantom rain last night since I read somewhere the meaning of it and I decided to make it as a metaphor of people being so close yet doesn't give a chance to experienced to be catched.

Yes, I know some of us is like one of those rain drops of a phantom rain, we had the chance to fall, to take the risk of falling, however it leads to nothing but dissapointments because of tons of reason that we still denied...

As for me the, I considered myself as those one of the phantom raindrops, I'm sure about my feelings, I'm sure that I'm already falling and developing those weird feelings that I'm not familiar with for one specific person, it's crazy isn't it, even though the idea of being convinced about how I feel towards one person, I still can't blame myself for not saying it,

People says that I'm shy on admitting or expressing my fondness towards that person, yet they are wrong, because when realization hits me, I realized that I'm not a sheepish type, I'm not timid when it comes to confessing or saying something about how I felt, however the main reason is I'm just afraid...

Afraid to be rejected...

That's where the fear of rejection struck me...

Spill the tea time!!!

So as I was saying on my past articles, I'm eyeing on someone, I said that it's just a friendly thingy yet I'm just indenial and really confused but later on, I realized that this someone makes me really feel just me, just myself when I'm with him, the comfort, the feels, it's just all so normal, and I realized I'm already growing my fondness towards this person...

And lately I'm enjoying that kind of company, It's just that, I don't know why but with him, I feel comfortable, I feel so me, I don't know or maybe I'm used to being numb for so long now, that I don't even realized that I'm now developing my feeling towards that person,

I'm beyond grateful to him that he made me felt something that I no longer feeling for a long time yet, it scares the whole me, if I continue this feeling of mine, I felt like I'm ruining a great bond that we are already making, so I decided to set aside those emotions and feelings.

I'm afraid of seing myself being rejected and that will just put awkwardness and possibly taint the bond that are now growing, a great friendship I think...

So yeah sometimes a lesson can be a person, no matter what we do, it is for us to choose and decide, and I'm choosing the friendship over this unknown feeling, because I thought that it's for the best...

Sometimes those unspoken truths are the one who makes us weak, those secrets that serves us strength and also our weakness, and it's okay, as long as you still can smile from a far and at least you still have them and nothing change.

I badly wanted to say this to that person but yeah sadly I wrote this in my notes secretly when I'm with two weeks ago haha gosh and so I have the used of this pala since I've topic the phantom rain hahaha so...

To my epitome of almost,

"I'm just scared to let myself falls to you because the idea of not catching me is scared the hell out of me cause maybe you've got your own umbrella now and that will forbids me to get to you, yet still you're one of my best and worst almost.

I'm just one of those phantom raindrops that wanted to fall to you, and before even I gotten myself to be near in you, I stop and just evaporate, go with the wind and get back to the clouds"

-sky

Okay so for all those who read this one, I know you act like those phantom rains and to my advice to all of you who does that, I'm saying that it's your will to choice whatever you think that was the best for you, even if it pains you, or what still choose what makes you happy.

Lead Image source:

https://wallpaperaccess.com/rainy-aesthetic

Image source:

https://aesthetichideout.tumblr.com/post/171590011280/loneliness-can-be-beautiful/amp

https://music.apple.com/ph/album/are-you-sure-feat-nicole-dollanganger-single/1587022130

Happy Wednesday to all, have a great night, and spend the rest of the night nice and well, enjoy, take care and stay safe, I'm too much on ranting and cringing myself rightnow haha but yeah moving forward is the key, this all shall pass, I need to focus first on my finals tomorrow hahhahaa I really don't have the will to review yet whahah I'll just make scan on my notes hahaha student will always be a student...

Bye guyss enjoy, student duty mode on for now hehez God bless us all.