Bygone opportunity

"I'm nervous" hands are sweaty while looking at the glass wall at the waiting line...

"What if I stutter?" overthinking and fidgeting at the seat, shaky hands and the rise of heartbeats...

"What if I'll just embarrass myself" can't focus on the surrounding because of never ending what if and make up questions that clouded in one's mind...

"what if-" I was cut of by my friend saying...

"Oh enough with those what ifs and it's normal to feel that way, it's interview okay not jusgements so staught yourself up, be confident and smile what ever happens, the important is you did your best, so stop sulking... Okay?" he told me and held my back slolwy caress it to give comfort and assurance that everything will be okay...

"I hope I makes one way through this one" a smile curved into his faced befor we separate our ways and go to designated rooms for interview in applying int his company,..

Story time, hello my dearest skies, I came back from dead kidding hahaha I just got busy these past weeks or maybe months, I failed to update here but it's okay I think it's one of those days that i failed to get back on track and just shrugged stuffs again... My apology I missed you all...

So here we go I have something to tell since I'm here, I tried to apply as a bpo agent,

I get lucky and I passed but I'll tell you the back story because it's so unbelievable and felt bad to my accomoany so I'll just need to share it here since I'm holding it back and it gets full so here...

Tueday morning last week I get a message to my bestfriend to go accompany him to apply on bpovs company so I go with him but he also told me that I should print my resume also so I did, I had no idea while walking at the building I sit at the waiting area and let my best friend go to the one who's responsible for interviews, I decided I'll wait him in this sit at waiting area but he shrugged and get my arm so that I'll go with him, and that's when the interviewee get me a number and I was like oh my gosh how will I answer, it's not our plan to go eith him in interviews, he said that I'll just accompany him so yeah wha csn I fo and just give this a shot...

I'm so afraid and nervous gosh because I'm bot ready but still my bestfriend comforted me while laughing at my situation that moment because he planned it all along I knew to his face that he wanted me to hire so that we clukd be workmates and he will nkt be alone, and that as my ego talks

I don't let myself get embarrassed even I'm not ready to this one still, I confidently answered their questions straight english laguage whahaha and that's in I get my emailed results that I passed but my parents doesnt know about it and they dkesnt want me to get stress while studying sk work could wait is there moto...

So I declined the opportunity and it kills me somehow because its one of my list opportunitues I let go... Yet I'm sad for my bestfriend because he doesnt get in yet I myself get hired but doesn't continue that, but i guess I should be trying that but it's the end of time I looke up and decided to done other things tham this new opportunity,

I feel sorry for him yet I comforted him that we need to apply again yet he wanted me to continue yet I fully decided that I'll focus on my self and studies for now and working can wait...

That's it, I'll tell you if I found a job again that I really wanted because I can't see myself working at bpo's company I'm not the same person who use to love people and socials yet I started to find comfort at walls I built and I'm still regaining myself and as the part of process I will tried to work on job that I want not the job that I'm just forced to,

Still a little regrets because it still an opportunity but theres lot of next time as they said...

Did you also experience these kind of feeling where you regretted your decision but you thought it's for thw best, sometimes I felt like I'm just denying and avoiding things that will get me out of my comfort zone I was just so in denial and afraid to get out of my safe zone and try new stuffs, I don't know what happened to me I lost interest on things, my old self would be disappointed if she knew this new version of me that's so aloof and often not in usual self, I just want to behave my self and not try again another things, gosh I hate this I need to think of something again, I need to get of this comfort zone that I knew that if my stays her get longer I will be a scaredy cat again gosh and I hate that, so I'll be back and fix this hehez....

Have a great day everyone, it's rainy season, and I found myself lying at my mother's couch and just watching movies haha I'm so lazy as hell again... I'm just enjoying the remaining days of this term break okay haha,

lead Image source:

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/288441551128545725/

Image source:

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/498281146275576481/

https://www.ourmindfullife.com/toxic-relationships-recovery-quotes/

https://www.pinterest.com/pin/mental-paradox--794392821769678353/

By the way have a great day, take care, stay safe and always keep yourself hydrated.