Nakakapagod no?

Tired?

You feel like you just want to stop, lay on your bed, and be enveloped by the bed sheets, turn off your ears and go through deepest of dark. Though sometimes, your not sleepy, just feeling exhausted. Like your tired for nothing. Have you ever felt that?

Yesterday, in the office, my co-worker is watching (loudly over his phone) of self motivation videos, before the start of the yesterdays work. He is always like that, watching while his speaker is on, though, he has earphones or earpods. While he was watching, I overheard something that caught my attention, and it is somewhat related to the topic I wrote a long time ago, which I refused to publish, because it was too deep and my emotion are just too dark. And, I don't want to spread that emotions to other writers.

He was listening about tiredness.

The speaker quoted "You were not tired because your body was tired, it is because your tired of trying to try and try, but you gained nothing or nothing has progressed" He cited some samples about teachers who get tired because, his students don't listen and so they don't learn. They were tired of trying to teach to those who wouldn't want to learn.

It reminds me, that everyday that we were tired, they can be of two different reason.

Tired yet fulfilled and Tired of Trying Hard.

Tired yet fulfilled means you were tired but feeling accomplished. You meet your goals and you have progressed on something. I remember, the first time I was assigned to monitor the concrete pouring. I will call the batching plant supervisor to deliver a truck of mixer, conduct testing, and scheduled the next batch of truck, to ensure the concrete strength, to avoid excessive request and over mixed. We stayed up until 6 am and I feel feel so exhausted I just want to rest and sleep. And that ends me to sleep sound and relaxed. When your tired and fulfilled you rest well, in mind you were looking forward for another overwhelming experience. Great and full filing.

Same way, when we go to get guava when I was just a little kid. We will run fast at each tree, to find for big and delicious guava. And though we ran, ran and ran. I never get tired of doing it. I just started to grow thats why it stops.

It was like, tired but much easier for us to rest. Tired but we never think, it wasn't beneficial. Tired but never tired of doing it again.

While on the other hand,

Tired of trying hard is a bit different. It was like, for example, you are a Mother of three, and with a husband. You do the kitchen, you do the laundry, you do the cooking, you do everything around the house, it wasn't tiring to begin with because your doing it for your kids, your husband, for yourself. But overtime, when your not being appreciated about doing all the stuff. Sometimes your just being ignored. Less appreciated. You feel tired somehow, of doing it. And it was starting to become your job and duty. Not the other way around. You are tired because you tried so much and be unnoticed.

Other example, is when you work without a certain goal, you just got the money and thats all, you used the money and after it was spent, all your hard work was spent, you asked yourself, will it be like this after next year, next next years? You think, and realize your tired of doing a lot of things, without seeing anything changing, without improvement on your lifestyle. It was like your living to work and spend those money you earned. It was beginning as a cycle and your tired of it.

Other related sample, on saving, why people stop at the middle of their saving adventure, was because, they don't have a goal after the money goal. For example, you want to save up a million. So you did. Until halfway, you think, that why are you saving a million? Are you saving just to get the million? After that million, what next? You don't have a goal after that, you lose enthusiasm for saving and you begun tired of saving.

I realized, tiredness, in all aspects, equates to rest. Resting your body but resting because you wanted to do it again, so your geared to do that thing that excites you more. Resting your mind and body, is the thing that supposed you wanted but grows tired overtime. And I guess, tired of trying hard may requires a complete rest, or maybe it requires a new goals to set. Or probably you weren't tired of doing the thing you like, it just need a change an environment.

How about you? Are you tired of talking because nobody ever listen?

Or are you tired of being silent, but still they just won't stop talking?

Or are you tired yet fulfilled?

Tired of trying hard?

Tired but won't give up?

Credits

Anyway this was written while listening to the music below. Nakakamis sina Nanay at Tatay. Awwe. 🥺

Thanks to Anthony Tran @anthonytran for making the lead image available freely on Unsplash 🎁 https://unsplash.com/photos/i-ePv9Dxg7U