Marriage in Debt

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Every parent wants the best for their daughter,there's no doubt about that. But demanding for a luxurious marriage when you lack resources is what I don't understand. Neither, I don't question traditional wedding celebrations, and rituals for both the bride and the groom.  But loaning or borrowing money for the sake of the grandiose wedding is beyond me.

I don't care about all of the wedding whatnot as long as I am not in any way involved but because my Aunt decided to borrow money from me. It's waaaay hard to tell I'm not involved.

I was just a regular employee, saving for my future and never did I ever want to put myself in a position where I would loan for the sake of 'wedding' expectations of either my in-laws or family. Or let alone, encourage my Mother and Father to loan for their contributions. If I would even be practical, I would have suggested a civil wedding, be named after my spouse and move on. 

I get that the wedding is a sacred one, or even a once in a lifetime event but would you rather get married peacefully, or get married in debt?

My cousin, a 'guy' the groom who had been with the 'girl' the bride for more than 6 years, they already had a baby, are living together and are getting married. The bride lives in Santa Cruz Marinduque. And you wouldn't believe it but If your soon to be bride lives there, they celebrate weddings by inviting all of their neighbors, cousins of cousins of cousins. Friends of friends of friends. And even the whole baranggay knows it.

Traditional weddings in Sta.Cruz consists of.

• Bring one case of beer as attendees. Not required for special visitors but for family related visitors.

• Pay for the list, guess, whatever you can afford. They call it bayad-utang.

• Sabit. It is an act of dance where relatives/family members dance with the groom and the bride and whoever dances with them would put money on their dresses.

• Tagay(Toast)- It is an act where the bride and the groom ask their relatives for a toast and whoever accepts the toast is required to give money as a tradition.

Here is one example of the traditional TAGAYAN and SABIT.

And not only that, we all know that marriage requires celebration and the number of visitors determines the budget for food allocation. As I have mentioned above everyone is invited. And on traditional weddings the groom's side must fund the food and other expenditures. So my Aunt has already spent money for it and continuously borrowed money because the bride's parents said that the 4 pigs wasn't enough. 😬 Imagine the weight of the pig is 30 to 40 kilos and that is still not enough to sustain the foods for the visitors. 🤷 

This may appear as a rant but the traditional wedding of the bride's family is way too luxurious. My other aunt who got married in church didn't spend that much on pigs. Even at my cousin's wedding they only killed two pigs. 

And what would happen after their marriage celebration? Pay off their debt? 😬 Isn't that money should be used to start a family? I've never met the bride's parents but I think what they are asking was just plainly ridiculous. 

Was this a wedding celebration or a wedding business paluwagan? 😆

I am never against any wedding traditions. But if you ever want to get married and you know your family's tradition at least make sure you have the funds for it. Or make sure you are marrying the person that can afford your family requirement. 😅 Or make sure to mention with your parents that your soon to be husband don't have enough funds for the entourage and reception your parents dream for you. Also, don't require your parents to spend money for your own wedding. Or loan for the sake of it. And don't use the 'minsan lang naman' card on me. This is why I'm gonna die alone. Lol. Haha I'm not compassionate. Lol

May I also remind you that Marriage is for a longtime commitment not just for a day but for the rest of your life. At least that's how I see it.

Hey guys sorry for the whole article rant. 😬 All above statements are base from my personal opinion. And I know we all have different opinion. ;)

Thank you for reading this far!

I know I am not normal. Lol. Haha. I'm creyzee meyzee. 😬👀

Lead Image Source

Thanks to photo nic @chiro for making the lead photo available freely on Unsplash 🎁 https://unsplash.com/photos/Qu-dnz_Kqgw