A Cousin Ruined by Family Problems
On our mother's side of the family, she has a lot of siblings. Currently, there are four sisters (including her) and three brothers, seven siblings in total. Before, there are five brothers in their family but both the eldest and the youngest passed away. Now, let me introduce to you the second-eldest sister in the siblings, auntie Viola. She has a daughter and an older son. And the one who's struggling is the daughter named Jobelle. A bright and happy child in her elementary days Ate Jobelle is quite old now, at around age 35. But it would be easier to understand if we go back to her past, starting with the fun and playful grade school days. She was a child full of fun and happiness, especially during grades 4-6. Every afternoon there's an opportunity for her to buy snacks and biscuits, usually paired with coke and juices. The pastime in the 90's often revolved around anime, cartoons, TV shows, and playing outside, which she all enjoyed. Even if ate Jobelle was living in a happy and carefree style of childhood, she never neglected her studies. In fact, every recognition day, her name is called on stage, and I saw a picture of her in their home having lots of medals with numerous awards brandished on it. Dealing with the drunkard dad Ate Jobelle was a thrifty child and always saves a lot of money from her allowances which she often used for school projects, snacks, and toys that were common at the time. There's a large *alkansya* (a piggybank) in her room that holds many coins and bills in it. Every month, the alkansya is opened by unlocking the lid using a special padlock that only she has access to. One night at around 10 pm, her drunk father just got home, banging the doors and walls of their home. As he went upstairs, he went immediately into the room where he knows Jobelle is hiding an *alkansya* which holds a lot of money. Then he tried to open it but to no avail due to its padlock, and there's no sign of any keys nearby. Left without any choice, he smashed the alkansya on the floor, which cracked easily as it's made out of porcelain. Jobelle was taking a quick bath as her father stormed her room, and she was stunned after hearing the shattered alkansya banging on the floor numerous times. There are also the sounds of coins rolling around the floor. She immediately went upstairs and tried to scold her dad about what happened while tears flow down her face. Her mom, Auntie Viola, quickly went upstairs after hearing all the events in the room (Viola was watching a teleserye downstairs, and she knows the habit of her drunk husband every night). Viola was scolding her husband Domeng because she knows Jobelle was saving up a lot of money for her school project for next month. Domeng just muttered random words and swore a lot that time. Thankfully, it came to the point that the drunk man felt the intoxication and slept in his bed. The start of a traumatic experience Ate Jobelle did not recover well mentally after the incident, and there was a time when she hid inside the closet after hearing that her drunk dad just came home. The shattering, rumbling, and swearing of her dad came into her mind that triggered traumatic experiences. These experiences continued until the end of high school. In the final year of high school, she experienced malaria. This illness added to her set of traumatic experiences, including the blood transfusion, which made her feel uncomfortable. "I don't want you to go into college." As she graduated with flying colors in high school despite all of the terrible experiences she had, the time came where she had to make a career choice in college. Her dream was to become a teacher as she felt the passion for teaching younger people. The parents heard this decision, and they responded with a worry that Jobelle might not earn well with this profession. She insisted that this is her dream job and passion that would make her feel fulfilled. Her dad responded that he would not let her go into this profession and will not fund her college education. Jobelle cried a lot after hearing this, as her own parents shattered her dreams. She always asked the question, "What did I do to deserve all of this." Decades of staying at home due to depression Ate Jobelle was so desperate in life that she just stayed at home with her mom from the age of 16 until today at 35. She only had one job that her father's boss offered her, an assistant in a cake shop. It lasted only for a month because she was feeling uncomfortable being with other people. As I was in my elementary days, I am sometimes in their house, where we often talked about her life before, and she shared those experiences. She taught me in some of my subjects where I had some difficulties, and I can say she is really fitting to become an educator. However, as time goes by, her personal and family problems are becoming worse each day. Jobelle's past is still haunting her, with no job or dreams to work with. The worst is yet to come that she and her family have to deal with it... ***To be continued until next time!*** [#9, August 23, 2021] **Lead image from* *Pixabay* https://pixabay.com/photos/girl-sitting-jetty-docks-boardwalk-1822702/
34 comments
I feel so bad for her. I hope one day, she will have the courage to fulfill her dreams. It's never too late. I believe that she could still achieve her goals in life.
Kaya nga po e. Parang ang nangyayari kase ngayon pabigat siya sa pamilya dahil matanda na pero wala pa rin work.
Naaawa talaga ako sa sitwasyon na 😔
That's really sad... A life and a dream wasted... But there's still time, I hope they can do something about it...
Up until now I feel bad about her situation and gave her some advice that could turn her life around, if she would try.
I hope she will listen to you. But she may have been traumatized and no one helped her earlier. Imagine that, 19 years of being 'jailed' in her own home because of that incident with her father.
Poor dear... What a difficult life! If only his father could let her be what she wanted to... why parents should interfere so much on kids life? My parents did the same so I had to do as told and give up my dreams...
It feels bad to hear that you have experienced it too. Unfortunately my cousin's father passed away while his daughter still have some anger on him.
I can understand! That's why I'm not interfering in my son's dreams and plans for his future! I want him happy and not trapped in a life he doesn't like ... Hope your cousin will finally find a way to be happy
Sad to hear but similar things in my life it's not ruined yet but my education got wasted coz of family problems it's been 2years I'm dropout from college and I'm trying to not ruin my life because of family problems i have courage to do that and will change my life.
I am glad that you have decided to make a change your life. I believe that as long as we are living, there will always be a chance to live a new life.
Ang grabe naman nasayang lang yung pangarap niya then naka experience pa siya ma trauma at ngayon ano na buhay niya siguro nagsisi parents niya kasi di nila sinoportahan siya Sana okey lang siya🥺
Ayun nga e, hanggang ngayon nasa bahay siya. Naantala pa ng pandemic yung plan niya na magwork sa labas.
That's sad. Wasted years and opportunities and possibilities. Parents should be after the well being of their kids.
I feel so bad to those kids who were not given the chance to live their lives. It will surely have an effect on their development.
I agree. We should let them reach their true potentials.
Traumatic talaga growing up with an alcoholic father and worst ung ugaling mangbugbug pag lasing. Grabe! I hope the dad would wake up from his senses that drinking would do him no good... Sigh.
Unfortunately dumating sa point na pumanaw nalang ung tatay niya na may galit parin yung anak niya sakanya. Nanghina din kase ung katawan sa dami ng bisyo.
Ayy kawawa, forgiveness is the key para mka move on sya sa past nya...
How sad what happens to your cousin. She is trapped by the selfishness of her parents. If something shook her, maybe she managed to take charge of her destiny. It's never too late if she is alive. And she could still become an educator if that is her vocation.
I often tell her that she has the chance to change her life as long as she's living. It's hard to forget the past, but it's necessary to move on.
This is heartbreaking! I myself has been fighting depression for years. I truly can relate!
Aww, I wish the both of you to win the fight over it. Depression is the worst monster that one can face.
Trying, Bryan. Salamat.
This is such a depressive phase of your cousin's life. I hope that your cousin will finally get the will to make a change for her life.
I really hope too. She has been through a lot, and she needs psychological support too in order to make decisions properly.
That is such a sad story. She could have been an amazing teacher. Maybe she could still try? You made me feel very old saying she’s old at 35 though 😅 I’m 4 years older than her and don’t usually feel old 🙈
I hope that she would reconsider studying again, or there might be some career paths that she can try. Jobelle is old enough that she's still living with parents while having no work. But I think 60s is the real old age Monika! You are still young!
I see what you mean Bry. I also hope she can still bounce from her reality 💙
This is so sad. I can't imagine being trapped like that for half of my life. And it's her parents' doing too. Hay. Mapapabuntong hininga ka na lang talaga sa mga ganitong kwento.
Kaya nga po e, tapos sa ngayon parang siya pa ang may kasalanan dahil di nakakatulong sa family dahil wala siyang natapos.
Grabe namaaan. I hope she can find the courage to pull herself out of this situation. Based on the comments here on your article, she now has a lot of people rooting for her.
Sana po sa Pasko makapunta sila dito saamin, at maipakita ko sakanya ung encourangement ng mga tao para po mapush at mamotivate siya.
Jeez how sad.