I am a Coward

I was born with lots of imperfections. In fact, I am covered with a fabric of insecurities. Disguised in a mask of eccedentesiast. With a head that seemed to be a universe of thoughts, some of which are even what-ifs, and yes, I am a coward.

C stands for being capable of standing up against all odds. Despite the fear I have and the what-ifs that keep on pressuring me, I am more than willing to stand up again whenever I fall. I have faith and I am determined to defy the odds through taking risks and being prepared for the possible consequences they may bear. Bullets of challenges may try to wound me down, but I won't fall, because just like titanium, I can withstand it and I think this is the greatest character trait I possess.

Of all the things I have experienced in life, choosing to remain humble and always being near to God are two of the best things I have done. I almost sank into the depths of sorrow, but God lifted me up, and here I am giving my very best to climb the rough mountain of happiness and success. Getting there is of great difficulty, but with faith and never-ending will, I know I can do all these things with God.

Wherever I go, I always carry with me the lessons they have taught me. But of course, there are things that aren't always under our control, and it also happens to me sometimes. It may seem impossible to sort out these huge mistakes we made in life and they may not be easy to overcome, but what matters most is that we learn from them. One of those mistakes I made was denying my feelings for someone I really, really loved for quite a long time.

As always, I just secretly look at that person until one day, I just find out that she's in a relationship with another person already. It hurts, but what I learned is that I should never deny my feelings anymore the next time I find someone that could make me feel the butterflies in my stomach. At first, I found it hard to move on, especially when I realized why I needed to undergo it when, in the first place, I did not confess my feelings. I just let time heal the wounds and, as of now, I am happy.

Rectifying things we have done wrong may sometimes be difficult, but I always keep in mind that the things I have done in the past have already become part of my history. As much as I’d like to change the past, undo my mistakes, I can’t. But I am proud of myself for still standing tall amidst all the difficulties. I just put it in my mind that when I am having a hard time overcoming it, time would certainly heal the wound.

During the time I wrote this one, there was one thing that came to mind that I want to share before I end it. This is in connection with this month's theme, "love," and can also be of great importance in all aspects of life. This is trust. Just like glass, it's fragile. Break it and it won't be the same anymore, no matter what kind of glue or action you use to fix it. So if you are in a relationship, both of you should build trust in each other. Because when you do, no matter what kind of temptation tries to break it, loyalty will come in and help you overcome it. If you fail to do it, it may break and the debris may cause pain you would never want to feel.

Yes, I am a coward, but through the years I have learned to use it to my advantage and for the greater good. I may have lots of imperfections, but I have learned to accept all my flaws. I may have insecurities, but I washed the fabric that covers me with self-love and care. I may have faked a smile just to hide my feelings, but I learned to still smile no matter how hard the challenges are. Most importantly, I constantly use the ideas being created by my head filled with a universe of thoughts to continuously produce distinct and creative things.

Special thanks to @carisdaneym2 for this initiative and to all of you as well, for always being here.