I've been used and abused, yet I'm already used to it

Good evening dreamers!! How's the Saturday at your area? Those who still feel pressured about their goals and workloads, I hope that you can still have a time to catch up with yourself. Having a Me Time even an hour can actually helps you a lot. In a world full of expectations and challenges, don't ever forget to live your life at its best, who knows it is already your last chance to have that.

How can you say that people or a certain person already use, manipulate and abuse you? I believe that once in our life we experience being used by someone who so close to us. I know that is so painful to being abuse by someone you trusted the most. Ohh wait, I'm not talking about physically abuse because I believe that the most painful torture or abuse that we could experience is the one who can't literally see by our eyes. Emotionally abuse to be exact. Perhaps, we are aware that someone already used and manipulate us but we keep our eyes blind to that. Why? Because of the word "relationship" that we value the most. Is love really love or we are just the one who choose to be blind? We don't want to ruin it so we keep still until we can endure all those abuses we get from them.

In my title, maybe you think that I'm already been used or abused by someone. And the fact is yes, not once, not twice but I can't actually count how many times. But all of these are emotional abuse and to be honest, some of it affects me until now. And it leads me to have some trust issues on human being. Unlike before, I find a hard time to trust people easily since I overthink that they will also do the same. If you also on the same position as me, I know that you can understand me. I can't also blame you since I know how hard it is. Yes, we tried but at some point we asked ourselves. " Should I really trust this one?" I know that we should not be so judgemental but sometimes it is also our way to protect ourselves from the pain that they can throw to us. We don't choose to have a trust issues but people who used us over and over again cause us to have this.

One of the moment that I can say that I am already been used or abuse is when I found out that I am a friend in convenience. I am only the one who is available that's why they needs me. I always make myself available for them so they abuse me and get what they really want. Asking favors that sometimes is already above on my limitations. I am grateful to help but sometimes it is tiring when you know that some people will only recognize you because they need something from you. They only know you when they asked this or that. Feel the same way? I am a friendly enough but I can also feel when something is off between us. Rather to still be their friends, I choose to put some space tot hem because it is not healthy anymore. I should not only give and give what I have. In a relationship, it should be give and take. Don't let yourself give everything you have because you are not certain if that people will also ready to give his everything to you. Never settle yourself for less, if you know that you are being abuse, remember that you are an option to leave. Sometimes staying for long would lead you to be a monster to yourself. Because you give too much, you become selfish to yourself. We can't avoid to meet abusive people on our entire life but we can do something to not leave them abuse us vigorously. So mindful if the person behind you is abusive or manipulative because if not, you might be lost and yourself find a hard time to put yourself back in the senses.

Actually, I don't know why I should write this one. I just open this and put my earphones to listen to some music and tadaa, this one came up. I don't know if I clearly write what I want to write since earlier, I don't have a topic to discuss. Maybe, my mind thinks about something about this matter that's why. But I really don't know. Bare with me if it a kid of messy amd instructed article hehe. But still thank you for reading this stuff. Have a great night and peaceful sleep to everyone.