10 Random Questions
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Hello my lovely readers, hope you're all doing great!
Yesterday while I was going through some articles here, I came across @Aimure post, he answered some random questions and I thought of writing about my version. You can check on Aimure post here 👉 The gift of life https://read.cash/@Aimure/the-gift-of-life-849999ee
`My version of the post, I will be writing about the 10 random questions`
**Who do you sometimes compare you're with?**
I admire good things that will be valuable to me, I compare myself with things that are worth it. I do say to myself " as far as they can do it, I too can do it". However, comparing myself with others people has a limit, because if care is not taken, it will end up in jealousy and it becomes toxic.
comparing myself to others makes me stay positive in terms of achieving my dreams, but I'm always cautious of toxicity.
**What do you wish you spent more time doing five years ago?**
I got to know about crypto last three years ago but I wish I have the opportunity to know about it years back but is not still late now, there's still more to achieve in years to come.
**Do you ask enough questions or do you settle for what you know?**
I don't settle for what I know, I asked questions to know the details of how things are being done...Most times when I asked questions from those people who are more experienced than I do, I got to realize that I don't know anything, what I know is not up to the third quarter of what some people know... Hehehehe. I'm always craving to know more, that's why I'm not always tired of asking questions.
**Is it possible to lie without saying a word?**
Action they say, speaks louder than a voice, sometimes my actions give more details about an occurrence than saying a word. So it's possible to lie without saying a word.
**What makes you smile?**
A lot of things make me smile, so I can not just point at a particular thing...A put a grin on my face when I'm happy, even sometimes when I'm sad, I still force myself to put a grin on my face, smiling is medicinal on its own. Even while checking my WhatsApp status, the smile is unlimited... Hehehehe
**If you have the opportunity to get a message across to a large group of people, what would your message be?**
A message to a group of people, that will be interesting.
**MY MESSAGE:** " ln everything we do in life, we should make each moment count, not for today, but tomorrow"
I hope that this little message will go a long way.
**What do we all have in common besides the genes that make us human?**
Well, as humans, there are many things we share in common but might be in a different way, all humans have brains, but we think differently. We have emotions but our emotions might differ from each other, we share languages too, but all These things we share in common always differ from each other in one way.
**Which is worse failing or never trying?**
Never trying is the worse thing one can ever do, it is better if I try then fail because my mistakes will make be to gain more experience to become better.
**What gets you excited about life?**
Well I'm excited about the journey that I will face in the future because Life itself is an adventure. I am More excited about the new experience that I will face and the new people I'm going to come across along my journey. That gives a thrill to my life.
**What are you most grateful for.**
I Will always be grateful for the gift of life, because when there's life, all my dreams will not be at stake and I'm also grateful for the gift of my mother.
`That's all about the question, I will love to know your thoughts in the comments section well`.
Thanks for visiting my blog.
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Does Forgiveness Requires Us To Forget?
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***Forgiveness is an integral role but is it possible to forgive and forget? And should you***
*I am sure we have all heard of the adage "forgive and forget. Sound good, but can we really forgive an offense and forget about it? the impression is to keep peace and to maintain a calm mind and because this adage has been handed out for ages, we might think it is grounded in deep wisdom.**
*It might be a word of wisdom, but easy? No, definitely not. You Can forgive but is not easy to forget.*
***There are two types of forgiveness:***
***The decisional forgiveness:*** *This is a decision you make consciously to let go of emotions that hurt you, such as anger and bitterness, taking them as the things of the past and moving on with life without letting our sensations control us.*
***Emotional forgiveness:*** *Emotional forgiveness can lead to a higher level of forgetting than decisional forgiveness because it's a situation where negative emotions are being replaced with positive ones, such as showing empathy, kindness, and tenderness toward the person who wronged you*
***But does forgiveness requires us to forget? Not necessarily.***
*Forgiving an offense can be hard, " forgiving and forgetting " shows that you have moved on with life and no longer think about the painful act. But not always possible for some people in every situation because it can be difficult to forgive someone when you know how they've hurt you.*
*There are many reasons why you should forgive even if part of you doesn't want to.*
***1) Forgiveness does not permit their actions:*** *when you forgive someone, it doesn't mean that what happened is OK, and it doesn't mean you can still welcome that person in your life, your boundaries still matter. There was a reason why meet each other and there's also a reason why you are moving part. Forgiving means you have made peace with the pain that had been made in you and that you are ready to let go.*
***2) Forgiveness is not for other people:*** *When we are forgiving, we don't do it for others but for our sake.*
*We will be trapped in a jail cell of bitterness if we find it difficult to forgive we are doing nothing but serving time for someone else crime, and we find ourselves in anger and depression. But above all, an unforgiving act is like stagnation, it will prohibit future growth and discovery. And when you don't forgive, you're poisoning yourself slowly and secretly hoping the other person does. Dwelling in the pain caused by others without moving on is your discretion.*
***3) forgiveness is a sign of strength:*** *A great man said and I quote “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.” ~Mahatma Gandhi* Source https://teachdifferent.com/podcast/the-weak-can-never-forgive-forgiveness-is-an-attribute-of-the-strong-teach-different-with-mahatma-gandhi-forgiveness/
*A person who forgives with the pain being faced is a strong person, the ability to forgive has little to do with what the person did. The only person who can make a shift to transpire and also be in control of your emotions, thoughts, and actions is YOU.*
***4) We also deserve forgiveness:*** *The lack of acceptance for others may even cause a lack of acceptance for ourselves. Our inability to forgive others can make it so difficult to forgive ourselves too. Others deserve forgiveness just like we do.*
***5) forgiveness is healing:*** *Our entire body-mind suffers when we hold on to pain, grievance, guilt, and resentment from the past. We benefit from our act of forgiveness even if the person isn't aware and this is the most beautiful form of love that gives you a sense of peace and happiness in return.*
*Note:*
*It is not always apparent to forget, but we learn, each experience we encounter teaches us something. Finding it hard to forgive has a negative effect on our health, we might have heard about the phrase " being eaten up inside". The more we hold on to resentment and anger, the more problems we created for ourselves. And those feelings can lead to an increase in blood pressure and this can lead to potential heart problems due to inflammation*
Thanks for your time.
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Hello my lovely readers ❤, sure you had a great day 🥰
I'm sorry that I was unable to come online, I came back from school yesterday, but I was stressed out that I could not make it to come online, and today I'm not strong enough you come online, taking some medication. I guess it's the stress I passed through while in echool, it's been a whole lot of hell...Now I'm home, definitely tomorrow, I should be fully back online, will be going to bed now, definitely, I'll be stronger when I wake up by tomorrow... Thanks for all your support and encouragement, I love you all 🥰
Overcoming Fear Of Rejection
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Some people experience some nerves when placing themselves in a situation that could lead to rejection. The fear of rejection has a far-reaching effect on our lives, the fear becomes overwhelming for some people, and if not treated, it will lead to greater limitations in a person's life.
In this article, I'm going to talk about how fear of rejection can influence our life and behavior and some of the strategies you can use to overcome it.
`I'm going to list some areas where we can be faced with fear Of being rejected`
****Job contracts :****Fear of rejection can also be termed as a lack of self-confidence, you'll feel weak and have difficulty in negotiating work-related contracts, leaving profitable pay and benefits on the table
****Business dealings**** **:**Getting a job might not be a problem, but they need to attract inventors and this is the key component of various jobs. some times, answering the telephone can be so dire for people with a fear of rejection, even as simple as it may be.
****Meeting new people:**** As humans, we are social creators and we are required to follow some necessities in public, but because you have fear of rejection, you might not be able to associate with strangers or even friends. You will not have the impulse to keep lasting connections with others.
****Dating**** **:** Although a first date can be daunting, those with fear of rejection might be faced with skepticism. Visible fearful manners are common, you even worry about your appearance and have problems to speak up. You spend your time to worry if someone like you or not instead of focusing on getting to know each other to determine if you'll continue with the person.
****Marriage**** **:** Two partners need to agree on everything no matter how compatible you both might be because marriage consists of an unending series of negotiating and concessions. Those with fear of rejection have problems standing their ground or expressing their own needs.
They can also lead to fear of being abandoned which can stir up the issues of distrust in your partner, and you began to carry out unhealthy behaviors such as inspecting your partner's phone for messages or their social network account.
`There are still some things that fear of rejection can cause such as :`
****Lack of Authenticity**** **:** Those with fear of rejection may live life under the mask because they feel that they will be rejected if they show their true self to the world, they seem inauthentic to others and find it difficult to embrace life's challenges.
****People- pleasing**** : In two different articles, I talked about people-pleaser , The venom of toxic people, and The act of pleasing people, and how to set your boundaries. It is natural to always want to take care of those people we love, but the fear of rejection makes you go too far. You find it difficult to say no even when your response will cause your life hardship and inconveniences. People pleaser enables the bad behaviors of others, you take too much, thereby increasing your risk of burnout. https://peakd.com/hive-190212/@maryjacy/the-venom-of-toxic-people-the-ways-to-handle-them https://peakd.com/hive-190212/@maryjacy/the-act-of-pleasing-people-and-how-to-set-your-boundaries-
****Passivity******:** People with fear of rejection always avoid confrontations, this makes you to find it difficult to speak up for what you need. You shut down your needs and pretend as if they don't matter.
This will also prevent you from reaching your full potential because you'll feel paralyzed in putting yourself out there. Thus, you prefer to remain in your current situation even when you are not happy about it.
****Passive-Aggressiveness******:** They shut down their own needs which makes them end up behaving in passive-aggressive ways. They find themselves working inefficiently on the project that they took on, they tend to procrastinate the things about their life.
**Effects of fearful behavior**
We might feel insecure, fidget and even lose the ability to communicate effectively due to the fear of rejection, though individuals react to these behaviors in different ways and I will be listing them below:
****Rejection**** : Confidence certainly enhances attractiveness. Just like a general rule, the lack of self-confidence as a result of fear of rejection makes us more likely to be rejected. Building confidence will make us to be more valued by people.
****Manipulation******:** Those who suffer fear of rejection may be at greater risk of being manipulated by those who know how to push their buttons, and they are being driven to the edge because they think they'll leave at any time, of course, the manipulator will leave once they have got what they want out of the other person.
****Frustration******:** People with fear of rejection feel emotionally threatening, and over time they become angry and frustrated instead of confronting others about their behavior.
**Way to overcome your fear**
There are some steps you can take to learn how to overcome the fear of rejection, it will help you to cope better and to stop it from impacting your life negatively.
****Self-Regulation skills improvement:**** This plays an important role in overcoming fear of rejection because it refers to the ability to identify and control your behaviors and emotion to feelings of fear, this can help you to reframe your thinking encouragingly and optimistically.
****Face your fear:**** Coping with feelings that trigger our emotions should be avoided. We should get better to deal with our fears by tackling our experience with rejection, this will make us have less anxiety and will also gain greater confidence in our abilities to succeed in life.
****Cultivate Resilience**** **:**Picking yourself up after a setback and then moving forward with a renewed sense of strength and optimism. We should have faith in our ability to bounce back from rejection when we take steps to improve our skills.
Thanks for your time.
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6 Or More Red Flags Even When Nothing Is Wrong
To say the truth, breakups are hard. Sometimes you can not even pinpoint where the relationship went wrong, that's the most difficult part of it. Some relationships do not give a big warning sign, a definable cases, or red flags, but something still doesn't feel right.
Hence, in this kind of situation, it will be very arduous to make the expressive decision to walk away when you are unable to put a label on the reason. It's necessary to be aware of what's not going on right, even if nothing is certainly wrong, it is not advised to throw in towel at the first obstacle or controversy.
**I'll be listing some points that may likely show that a relationship is not for you, even without obvious red flags:**
**1) You are more interested in spending time with others:** You find yourself losing interest in your partner, you're less interested in spending quality time with your partner. You prefer hanging out with your friends every night, but that's not a great indicator of a healthy relationship. In building a healthy relationship, with the fact that you want to keep your relationship with other people, you should not consistently prefer to spend time with others over your partner.
**2) You feel drained after spending time together:** The quality of your relationship can also be determined by knowing how you feel after spending time with your partner. Do you feel energized, uplifted, and relieved or do you feel drained? Try to pinpoint what's making you feel that way if it's latter. However, a healthy relationship also has ups and down because every day is not going to be a smooth sailing, but with good communication, you should feel positive generally after your time together even after a disagreement.
**3) You don't miss them when you are apart:** My three favorite things are self-care, independence, and self-love. Some Times we might want to spend some time apart, it's important sometimes, but it becomes bad when you spend a lot of time away from your partner, and you find out that you did not miss them during those periods, that could likely be a sign that the relationship is not right for you. Are they reaching out to you to tell you how much they miss you, but you are not having the same feeling? You have to be aware of the way you feel, if the feelings are not reciprocated, it's a sign of an unhealthy relationship.
**4: You start to feel irritated by everything they do:** Suddenly you start to hate the way they chew their food, you become irritated with the trails of water your partner leaves on the floor after their shower, even the song alarm that plays on their phone will make you want to scream.
However, you cannot love everything about your partner, but a constant irritation with your partner signifies an unhealthy relationship. If something is bothering you in a relationship, try to talk about it lovingly, but if it's something you can not get over it, it may not be you but the relationship.
**5) They aren't the first person you want to go to with good news:** Most times, you will love to share good news about a promotion or other exciting things with your friends or mom. If you're in the line of sharing good news to others instead of your partner because of the fear that your partner will not give you the exciting response that you need, it may be a red flag. Your partner is your biggest fan, you should always feel optimistic that your partner will want to celebrate your wins.
**6) You don't care enough to argue:** A constant argument signifies a red flag, it makes a relationship to be toxic, and having no argument at all may also be a red flag, the case is contradictory, but I'm going to shed more light on it.
Are your feelings too tired to talk about things that upset you with your partner, or you don't care enough to raise any concerns or disagreements with your partner? Do you think that everything is going to be good when you leave things unsaid? The truth remains that, you have no inspiration to improve or work on your relationship if you're not caring to disagree even when things are going wrong. This also means that you are losing interest in the relationship.
**Note**
When you notice a red flag in your relationship, try to take note of them and take the situation seriously, consider the effect not just in the nearest future but also down the line.
Thanks for your time.
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Oops! Finally, I Smile
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Hello good day my lovely readers, hope you're all doing great, during this week, while I was going through some posts on read.cash, I came across a post made my @Princessbusayo , am i really grateful? and I decided to participate in the prompt. https://read.cash/@Princessbusayo/am-i-really-grateful-f29a1c3d
I'll be answering e question one after the other
****What kind of day did you have?****
I'm not going to say it's a bad day or a good day, because something has been bothering me since I woke up this morning and I've been trying to get over it but I couldn't, I hope that everything is going to be settled before today runs out, well, it's a personal issue. But still at that , my day is not bad, it was just a gloomy day.
****If you could change one thing about your behavior today, what would that be?****
Procrastinating they say is a theft of time. Procrastination is something I've been trying to curb, though I can see a little change but am not yet satisfied. This act has made me carry out some things at the last minute and some things will be left undone. Should I call it laziness? No, I'm not lazy, I can work from morning till night but might neglect the important thing I'm supposed to do.
This made me remember the day I'm supposed to go to the market to get attire for a group concert, but I kept saying "I will go in the evening, I will go tomorrow, I will go later" when the day finally comes, I have to rush to the market to look for the attire, but unfortunately, I did not see what I'm looking for, it was another design that I saw, I could not join them for the concert again. Had it been I went to the market in that week I was informed, without no doubt I'm going to see what I'm looking for. That's my bad!
Just like I say, I'm trying to work on myself and I can see a little improvement, but I'm always aiming to be better.
****Did you accomplish what you wanted to today******?**
Well, I haven't gotten to the third quarter of what I wanted to do today, I woke up this morning and I say my morning prayer, and I Tidy up my surroundings. After that, I picked my book to study because I'm having an exam today, it was when I dropped the book I was reading that I started to create this article. And after creating this article, I'm going to drop off my phone to study More, then around 3 pm or 4pm, I'll go to the campus to write my exam. So after the exam, I'll be back online to do the necessary things I'm supposed to do. Of course, I'll be on read.cash, on hive, and other online activities.... So there are still more things to do today.
****What made you smile today and Why****
Hmmm, just like say initially, I did not wake up in a good mood, more like a gloomy day, so I haven't seen what will put a grin on my face, maybe before today ends, I never can tell.
****What are the five things you are grateful for****
The gift of seeing another day is something to be thankful for because the majority slept and were not privileged to today, so there's nothing worth more than the gift of life
I thank God for the gift of my mother because she has always been my backbone, without her in my life, I never can tell what would have become of me.
I thank God for my loved ones, especially those who are always there for more during my worse moment and were there to correct my imperfections.
I'm also thankful for the opportunity granted to me because it's a privilege to be part of the crypto world, I was able to plan for the future and the present needs. There are so some things I was able to achieve with the help of the platforms I joined, on read.cash , on hive , etc and I'm still aiming to explore more, blurt is at the corner waiting for me.... hehehehe.
Oops! Finally, I smile while writing this, but I will keep on writing, I'm not going back to the question again.
I cannot but be thankful for myself, of course, I've been striving through his grace, despite the ups and downs, I was able to scale through. Now I'm loving the woman I'm becoming and I'm more stronger than ever.
Thanks for your time .
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Staying Out Of A Toxic Relationship
*The person will fall in love with might probably not be the person who broke us If life ran like a storybook. But sadly, we tend to be a bit more human than that, we fall in love, we get hurt once and over again and we still stay. People indeed need each other but sometimes the cost is a heavy one to bear. The breakage can be far-reaching when it's a toxic relationship.*
*Love is addictive, but sometimes the power of this can be self-destructive. Walking away from a relationship that is loveless, dangerous, or hostile is one of the hardest things to do. A bad relationship is that one that will always steal your joy with an undeniable clamor, it's not just about being on the downside fall of the usual relationship ups and downs.*
***How do you know when to let go?***
*Majority of time, the sign is always clear, it is now meant for us to see it. Emotional and physical abuse, cheating, emotional starvation, and constant criticism do feel right and sometimes nothing is outstanding noticeable but the sign might lie in the intimacy between you both.*
*Sometimes there's nothing in your way except you, you get addicted to love with the circumstances that make leaving to be difficult, and some of those things are :*
*Staying because you want more for yourself*
*knowing it's bad and yet you stay.*
*You know that there's an important in you that stays hungry in your relationship, I.e security, love, respect intimacy, and yet you still choose to stay.*
*The pain of leaving always brings you back even when you try to end the relationship.*
***Hence, when leaving feels as bad as staying, what will you do?***
*Leaving a bad relationship is difficult, but the power to do so all lies in your hands. It requires strength and energy to stay in a toxic relationship as it does to leave, but you can always channel the strength and the resources you used in staying to propel you forward.*
***1)Be present:*** *The pull to check the way it was or the way you are and be spectacular. The energy to keep you moving exists only in the present. Try to experience how broken the relationship looks without needing to change it or control it.*
*However, no relationship is perfect, couples do have grudges with each other, that's a normal part of living and loving together, but the problem is when there's abuse, insecurity, harm, and the grieve of the relationship as it stands, when you remember all this, it will make It easier to move away.*
***2) Give it a deadline:*** *when you're hoping that everything will be better, try to give it a deadline, don't make it to be too long, it might be six weeks, six months, whichever one that you feel is right for you, during that period, try to give the relationship everything you've got and hern the day finally comes, try to be honest with yourself and act from a place of strength and self-love, right there in front of you, you'll find your answer*
***3) Fight for you:*** *fighting for what you believe in and what you love is very important and one of those things has to be you. What would do when someone is facing the same deadness and the pain you're feeling? Feel more courageous inside, because a fighter, a Queen, a king and you deserve everything good that will make you feel happy. But first, you have to be fierce, bold, and bravely fight for yourself the way you would fight for anyone you love.*
***4) Become selfish:*** *Try to recognize what you need and things you can do to meet those needs. There will always be fallout when you allow the noise to shout you down and make you Ignore your needs. You have to understand that what you need matters, which means you'll have to put yourself first on the list and feel too important to stay out of a toxic relationship.*
***5) Stop making excuses and know what you want:*** *what do you want from a relationship? And what is the difference between what you want and what you are getting? And how long so far? If you are loved, it will always feel like love even amid the storm, the stress, things you do or say, the weariness. A Loving relationship is filled with respect and security even during tough times, but if it doesn't feel good for you, it's not, it is better to move away.*
***Conclusion***
*All relationships will pass through make it or break it time, but a healthy relationship will recover no Matter the tough time. They'll become closer and more stronger.*
*When a relationship is barreled around with a storm, if the relationship is healthy, it might take time to put things together, but an unhealthy relationship will deteriorate from the lack of nourishment and will die off eventually.*
*You are the only one in the right place to decide whether to stay or go, but you have to be mindful of your reasons, sometimes the most life-changing things do not lie in what we do but in what we stop doing.*
*The only truth that matters is that, If the relationship feels bad, then It's bad, for you. Fight to keep your relationship but when there is no more fight left out, you'll have to decide what's best for yourself.*
Thanks for your time.
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Don't kill them
Hello my lovely readers, I believe you're all doing great. Yeah, it's been a long time here due to one reason or another. I've been so busy with a lot of things, both in school and online. I need to limit some of the things I can't cope with, instead of me doing on and off here, I decided to take a break and then come back when I'm capable to continue. I tender my sincere apologies, I cannot but appreciate those who still have hope in me, I was surprised when I saw the notifications though, I'm not going to go into full details, but I appreciate the love you showed me. I'm thrilled 😊
`To the purpose of the post`
**Why do we show intimidation instead of love?**
**why are we too quick to judge?**
**Do you see yourself as a perfect person?**
**or do you think you'll always be right without making mistakes?**
**Do we give others the reason to live a better life and the reason to live again?**
We are in a world where people are too quick to judge without getting to know what's wrong, we tend to throw stones at them not minding if they'll die or survive it. We make ourselves instruments of intimidation instead of looking for a way to make them better.
Referring to the bible...
We can remember a woman who was caught with a prostitute and was taken to Jesus to be stoned to death because it's a law of the Jews that any woman found in the act of prostitution will be stoned to death, but Jesus act otherwise by asking anyone who has not sinned should be the first to throw a stone at the woman, surprisingly, everyone dropped their stone and moved away.
All that happens shows that no one is perfect, instead of stoning the woman to death, why not correct her. Don't kill them, always be the reason to make them live again. We should learn how to relate with those people to know why they acted that way. Try to support them so that they can overcome what they are facing.
**There are some ways we can support others without being judgemental:**
1) Recognize your judgmental thoughts, even if what the person did was wrong, You can judge the person within you but don't act too quick
2) The **DUAL** Judgment must be considered
**D**- Don't be too quick to pass judgment, try to scrutinize what's happening
**U-** Understand the what's going on properly and try to put yourself in their shoes
**A-** Accept who they are and try to work with them, change is a gradual process
**L** - love them, because that's the only way you can work with them
**Just a scenario,** you might see someone who acted strangely unlike before, try to think about the reason behind their unusual behavior, and if you were in their shoe, what will you do?
3) Try to manage your judgment side, check if you have had a similar experience, if yes, then check how you felt about it, help them to look for a way to get over it, you don't have to judge them, tell them you are there to walk with them and to support them.
Don't be tired to hear them out, be a save space for them and listen, even when others are having negative thoughts and view about that person, try to practice empathy. Make them understand how you feel and make them realize that they are important, tell them to get over anything they are facing, and don't make them feel guilty about their feelings.
**Some other things are**
Try to see the person in a better gleam
Try to know that everyone makes mistakes, so you don't have to expect perfection in everything, be ready to perfect all the imperfections
Always try to see things from a different perspective
Thanks for your time.
**I appreciate my sponsor for your support,** @Amy05 **and** @Olasquare **I was surprised to see your sponsorship renewal, thanks for being my backbone.**
`Yeah to my subscribers, I cannot but show my gratitude, love you all to the moon and back to read.cash`
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My food might be your poison !
Hello lovely readers, trust you're all doing good. I came across a post made by @MidnightSky , which one do you prefer? it's about preference, if two things are placed at your disposal, **which one will you go for?** https://read.cash/@MidnightSky/which-one-do-you-prefer-862ff7e6
Preference work with choice, choice is an important dimension of quality of life, when a preference is shown, one discriminated operant is more frequent than another. It's a situation where you'll choose to choose between two or more possible things, in this case, you'll have to go for the preferable one.
**Yeah, I will be making a preference with what I have here. The question is, which one do you prefer?**
**Alone time or family time?**
Src https://www.pexels.com/photo/family-gathering-for-a-group-hug-4262424/
Oops! Without a doubt, I'm gonna choose family time, though when you're are alone, you can have enough time for meditation and all that, notwithstanding spending time with family is the still the best ever....
**Why did I choose family time?**
Family time is so essential because it's a time to share bonds together , with the little things we do, playing games , watching a movie together, going out to an amusement park with families, it's a way if creating sweet memories with that will last a lifetime. Memories are beloved possessions that give family members a sense of belonging and can help enhance the importance of family.
**Hugs or kisses?**
Lead Image https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-in-blue-kissing-woman-on-forehead-3724031/
Oh my goodness !! I'm confuse, I have to choose one, well I'll be going for hugs
**Why hugging?**
Hugging has many health benefits and is something that everyone can do, you're surprised!
**Well, let me ask, how did you feel when you hug?**
A hug from the right person is one of the best medicine for pain relief for me, it makes me feel good, and even when I'm stressed out I feel relieved. Another health benefit of hugging is that it helps to lower high blood pressure because there's a special kind of feeling you get when you get a hug from the right person, I don't know if it works for everyone, but it does for me.
**Sunrise or sunset?**
The two are always beautiful, but I'm going to prefer the sunrise. Imagine, waking up in the morning and you set your eyes on the sunrise, you'll feel the happiness within you.
Sunrise is a sign of hope, I'm always carried away with the way it looks, I can stay in a spot for more than 30 minutes gazing at sunrise.
This is one of the pictures of the sunrise that I took, I'm not a pro when it comes to taking pictures, but it comes out good 😊
**3 am road trip or early flight?**
3 am road trip is the best, because along the way, you'll get to see different kinds of scenes about nature, yes I love nature because it serves as a blessing to my soul. Unlike a flight that you'll only focus on your destination.
**Speaker or headphones?**
I'll prefer headphones to speakers, speaker is always loud and you might not really get the inspiration you need while listening to a talk or music.
When I use earphones to listen to music, it's always different, especially it's a solemn song. Oh my!!! I'm gonna be in cloud nine.... hehehe.
**Coffee or milktea?**
Errrrrr, going for a coffee, I'm bewitched with the smell alone ... hehehehe. I feel good when I take a coffee to when I take a milk tea.
Yeah, this is the end of the question, and I have chosen what seems best for me, but my food can always be your poison and vice versa.
Thanks for your time.
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Going down the memory lane.....
One of the fundamental elements of a relationship is trust but I never understood the word "trust" not till I fall in love. Going down the memory lane, I remembered the hours we watch a movie together, we laughed at comedies, traveled to various places, and went to each other hometown for a visit, all those things were a sight to behold. I could also think back to the first kiss we had in his apartment, the way he gently twisted my lips like a fresh orange, I felt a cold chill that runs down my spine when his tongue intertwined with mine in a rhythmic pattern, he's indeed a romantic actor and a great kisser. That night we carried out an exercise that is only performed by a married couple.
Some of our friends were jealous of our relationship and they have tried many attempts to separate but all their effort failed. Now, I have lost my opportunity of being a loyal lover, I kept repeating The statement that I hate to hear from people "had I know?", I have broken the trust I built with hard labor. For days he has not talked to me, he ignores any calls that reflected with my name, he never want to see me or have anything to do with me again, the anger he felt towards me now was the one he portrayed physically and emotionally.
This thought made me find it hard to concentrate on my studies, I withdraw myself from many social activities and from my friends too, I no longer look happy like the person I use to be before, someone who is in love with one of the most handsome students in the campus. A friend of mine noticed the change in my attitude, she tried to confront me one day since she could not figure out what the problem might be. She met me in our school garden, "why are you sitting here all alone?, I don't think all is going on well for you " she asked.
I knew she felt my pain, she dropped her school bag and sat close beside me, she stared at me, tears twirling down from my eyes as I fumbled with my fingers, I need to ease myself from the emotional pain that is devouring my heart at that moment. I tried to talk, my throat felt dried and my stomach swirled, not because I was hungry but about the shock my friend will feel if tell her the secret I've been keeping away from her and even my to my boyfriend.
"My boyfriend left me, he found out from someone that I was pregnant for him, but I ab*rted without telling him, He called me a betrayal and a murderer because he said that I killed his baby and hide it from him, he hates me now. All I did was for our sake, I want to protect my career and also from the public shame, I'm not ready to be a mother now" I sobbed till my eyes could no longer bring out tears, but, instead of her to console me, surprisingly, she picked up her bad and left without uttering a single word. How I manage to leave with the pain is a story to be told in the next decade.
`Note: this is a friction story, not real`
Thanks for your time.
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What's the reality about money and happiness?
Sorry for being away for like two days, promise to be here yesterday but could not make it after coming back from the health center. My health is more important , I cannot but rest after taking my medication, even though I could not make it to be here , you are all always in my heart. I'm better now 😊😊
`Now, to the purpose of the post...`
The majority say that having money doesn't guarantee your happiness, I.e it does not go hand in hand but it helps..
**Now the question is, can money buy happiness?**
Everyone needs money and that's a simple fact. But at times there some people who lose their jobs and even lose their home, now saying to those people that "money doesn't bring happiness" that's could be cruel and thoughtless because to them that is unfortunate to be part of the victims, money tends to be the continuity of their normal daily life and that's where they find their true happiness. So I will say that money is one of the factors that brings happiness.
**What about those people who have their job?** Many people feel delighted in the game, they sacrifice their whole life in the pursuit of money, the work for hours, since they find passion in doing that, we should let them do it, because to them, money serve as a great motivator to them in achieving better things in life.
We also hear some stories whereby those people who work in their whole life in pursuit of money end up having problems because they don't have time for their family or their friends. Their value in life is leaned on one side, and as time goes on, they will get to knowe that the only friend they have is money. So in this kind of situation, can money buy them happiness? , the truth remains that, in this case, money and happiness don't seem to work hand in hand.
**Now, between a person's life and a life spent pursuing money and possession, where then lies the balance? How can we balance the stress?**
Most times we label people according to how much money they have and that's why value is quite hard in our society, we don't even question those values because we pretend not to see them, we only realize that money cannot define someone's value when someone we love face hard time, and money doesn't flow in as it used to be. it only people with their good characteristics, their big hearts, and warm personalities that will stay even when the money disappeared.
Sometimes people we call friends disappear when we don't have money because they are afraid that poverty may be contagious, or are they afraid to give loans to their friend who is in need? And you'll begin to ask yourself, are they really friends? Or they are people who stay with you because of the interest they'll get from you? When the money is no more they'll disappear because they could benefit from you no more.
Envy is also another thing, some people will be sad because their friend becomes rich suddenly " why him, why not me?, this is not fair" that's what some people will say, though I'm not surprised with this because I've seen people like that. There's another intense-rooted sentiment that if someone is rich, it probably they got it through abusing someone in any way. Some people get nasty pleasure when a rich person loses their money. Yet, if someone had lots of money, that person will use the what money to do things that will keep the spins of the economy rolling. Now it is obvious that our whole attitude toward money is a very myriad issue.
**Now, what's money to us in reality?**
It's obvious that money and happiness don't forbid each other, I've come to think of it that's it's delegates freedom, freedom for you to do all things, to do what we want and be our true selves without strain, nevertheless, we can still do all these things without money. you can gain your freedom without money.
With money, we can make good things happen to other people by substantially helping them, so money and happiness go hand in hand in those situations.
So don't dispute me, the whole thing I'm talking about is that " money does not guarantee happiness, but there's are some things that can't be solve without money, that's why I say, they don't forbid each other, they work hand in hand in some cases, and in some cases, it's vice versa"
**And I will love to ask, what's your sentiment about money and happiness? your view might differ from mine.**
Thank for your time.
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`Header image created by me on canva apk`
Hello guys, I'm very sorry that I've not been online since yesterday, not intentionally, it was due to the things I have to meet up with in school, it was just a tight schedule for me in school yesterday and I came back looking so tired that I could not come online, I have to rest because my health.
For the couple's if days, I'm not feeling too strong, I just have to manage myself to did somethings, I might still visit my school health center today after writing today's test.... Yeah when i get back home today , I'm gonna visit your posts if not all, and reply to comments as well....
Thanks for always being there, love you all to the moon and back to read.cash
#maryjacycares💙
Make The Most Of Your 20s Count!
Our 20s define our personal and our precessional life more than any other decade, we'll make mistakes, but making the mistakes is not the problem, but learning from our mistakes, and this period you can also live the best of your life. It's a defining decade that plays a huge role in who you want to be what you want to be.
**Errrrrr, Don't screw them up!**
Oops! I'm only kidding, because at this stage, you'll screw them up to some extent, and that's ok. It's a stage we need to practice mindfulness I.e meditate about our life and not knifing around with bad relationships if we want to be in good shape.
**According to my insights, there are some foundations you must lay to make the most of your 20s.**
**1) start writing down your goals:** we should start visualizing our lifestyle in the next 5 to 2o years, we write about what we want to achieve and the way to get there. Writing down your goals and dreams help you to nail down what is really in your sanity, and helps to give you a substantial record you can relegate to overtime.
**2) start letting go of your ego:** we should be open to alternate viewpoints without letting arrogance and pride get in our way. Our 20s is a stage we should kill our egos because it will limit and dazzle us from our growth and chances to learn new things. Sometimes you can just burst your bubbles by asking yourself " what if I'm wrong?" This is a way of examining things from the other end.
**3) start reading a lot of books:** School can't teach us everything, School will only give the objective about life, but not the theoretical aspect. There are lots of experiences you gain through the books you read, you'll learn 10 times more than you've learned in your high school or college. Reading is a great way to learn necessary things that are not covered in class.
**4) stop trying to live someone else life:** Don't use people's values to measure your accomplishment, doing so will make you feel unfulfilled. Learn how to live life in your term not what people want you to be, do things because you feel that's how it should be. If you don't do it now, you'll never have the time to do it again, this life belongs to you and nobody, you don't have to sit around waiting to start living your life, the time is now.
**5) stop feeling bad about the past:** Having a regretful mindset about the past is not healthy. There's a difference between people who live their lives looking back and people who live their lives looking forward. And you'll recognize these people when you see them. But it is more advisable to live our lives looking forward because people who look back are constantly looking for things to regret " I should have gone to that college, I should have married that girl, I should do this and that" they keep regretting series of occurrence of their past, this makes them see life as series of failures. If you want to make our 20s count, we have to forget about the past and strive to build a better future.
**6) Start showing loved ones you care:** Make it a habit to y show it if you really care about someone. It's not all about constant contact, some little gesture with kind words can go a long way. look for a way mutual way to share your life with people you care most about and if it's your partner try your best to show love without taking anything for granted.
**7) Start taking care of your health:** This is one of the most important things you must consider in your 20s, once it's gone we can't bring it back, most people value money more than their health which should not be. Take out your time to do exercise because it's crucial at this juncture of life. Because it will help you to stay fit and in building your muscles.
**8) start asking questions:** when you ask questions, you'll get a different viewpoint from people. All of our lives are enriched when we share the ideas of others, either to an incredible or lesser extent .spending more time to listen to others makes you seek for knowledge which helps you to strengthen your personal relationship. because you'll always want to learn and improve.
**9) Start practicing mindfulness:** You can cultivate mindfulness by setting a period of time every day or week for meditation as this will help you to become more aware of your thoughts and feelings. During meditation, you can have an open conversation with yourself on how you're feeling.
Though sometimes some people find it difficult to mediate due to certain reasons, there are things that will make you stay focused during meditation, i'm not going to talk much about that here, you can click here to get the full gist about mindfulness (meditation) https://peakd.com/@maryjacy/ecotrain-qotw-96-why-is-it-so-hard-to-meditate
**10) start conducting weekly review:** This is a great way to look back at the past week to know how far you have gone, and there are three things you must consider while making your weekly review
Things that went well in the past week, celebrate it if you can, and continue with the act
Things that didn't go well, is either you remove it from your plate or you overcome it.
Then base on the 1st and 2nd view above, check the changes you need to make to make the coming week a better one.
`These are still little things you should put into practice to make your 20s a good one to live and to remember, there's are still more things you can do, but I'll be stopping here, your contribution is welcome.`
Thank for your time.
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`to my upvoters and subscribers, thanks for your encouragement and support, you're the reason why I'm always trying to do more. Gratias 🙏`
#maryjacycares💙
**Header image created by me on canva apk.**
A loving relationship - passionate love
Lead image https://pixabay.com/photos/couple-love-together-woman-young-498484/
Hello my lovely readers, I believe you are all doing great. In a couple of days, I came across an article written by @JonicaBradley and it is all about love, it's an interesting article you'll love to read, I decided to participate in the prompt word which is **love.**
There are different types of love but the one I'll be talking about Is **passionate love,** the love that tends to be common at the outset of a relationship.
The majority of people believe that true love does not exist due to some scenarios they have seen or experienced but there is still true love somewhere that can last for a lifetime.
**My understanding about love...**
**Love is something to a verb to be acted upon, it requires action to strive**. We spend most of our time thinking about how our partners feel about us often, worrying about what the relationship looks like outside. To be loved by someone else makes you to feel good, but the truth is that we can only feel our love for another person and not the person's feelings for us, but we have to take actions that are loving for us to bind with and strengthen those loving feelings within us, otherwise, we may be living in fantasy.
We have to accept that in any relationship, we must accept that we only have true control of ourselves in relationships because at times, it may feel frustrating. we took charge of the dynamic ourselves, hence we choose what we want in our relationship, either to engage in destructive behavior or to create an intimacy and action that expresses feelings of love, respect affection and to be compassion.
**There are some things we must understand about passionate love...**
1) one of the things to consider in a loving relationship is non-defensiveness and openness, they must be ready to hear feedback from each other with discouragement. They are to look for the heart of truth in what their partner is saying. Otherwise, we may be pursuing our partner without realizing it. Even if we don't agree with their motion, we should always try to listen to our partners, because it will make them feel heard, seen, and cared about. Not listening to them makes them feel the other way round and might shut down communication between them.
2) They must not close their heart to new experiences, being open to trying something new will make their relationship flourish, we can try to visit new places, sharing new activities, these routines often puff new life in having a loving relationship.
3) Any form of deception and duplicity kills a relationship gradually. A loving relationship entails honesty and integrity. When are not honest with our partners, there will be a great detriment in the relationship. Learning how to trust our partners can be done through honesty.
4) Respecting each other boundaries, priorities, and goals is a means of avoiding fantasy bonds in a relationship. There are cases where two partners tend to play into power dynamics, telling each other what to do or how to act without minding if they are okay with the decision. individual priority and goals should count.
5) Physical affection and personal sexuality must be considered. To find a love affection is a considerable part of how to express love, cutting ourselves out off to our feelings tends to deaden the relationship. Sexuality can become impersonal which makes both partners feel more distant or satisfied. We must always try to stay in touch with our partners and should be willing to give and receive affection if we want to keep our love alive.
6) It can be very easy to misunderstand things our partner is saying, and this tends to make them feel hurt. We get stuck in our own point of view with seeing things from the other person's perspective. This will make them to be two different people with two masterminds. Hence, it is important we understand our partner from a clear point of view. They are likely to see our perspective when they feel seen and understood.
Love is sweet when two like-minded people meet, and everyone wants someone who does not make them feel better alone but wants to make us to be better and always ready to support each other goals.
**You too can participate in the prompt word, you can click** **here** **for more details.** https://read.cash/@JonicaBradley/writing-prompt-22-love-164ef94c
Thanks for your time.
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`I appreciate my upvoters and subscriber for your support always, love you all to the moon and back to read.cash.`
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Did I love him, or it's just an infatuation?
**Lead image** https://unsplash.com/photos/h0mKpP_DvWE
Nowadays, I feel it's a trend to have a girlfriend or a boyfriend but surprisingly, I'm single and I'm hoping I will have one day. Sometimes I do wonder why I'm not in any relationship because all my friends have at least one.
There was a boy in our class, his name is Francis, I have a feeling for him, but I'm the type of girl that doesn't like to share my feelings, the only person who knows how I feel was my friend Cecilia. **"He likes you too because I've noticed him staring at you,"** she said. Francis best friend always teases him in my presence, but he will never attempt talking to me. As days go on, my feelings for him become stronger, I just wish he could talk to me, I don't know if we'll both confess our liking for each other one day, seeing not seeing the possibility.
A few days later, one of my classmates David asked me if I like Francis, I was dumbfounded, **"why asking, what was that?"** I managed to ask, **"anyways, mary, he's a nice guy, and I know you guys can be a perfect match"** he giggled.
When I got home that day, I stared at myself in the mirror, no Mary, you don't seem to look perfect. I headed to my room, I cleaned up my face and I got my eyebrows done, should I trim my hair? " oh leave it" I said with excitement. Yes I'm over excited, but I'm not going to show this. " yeah I forget to call Cecilia, I'm sure she will be excited like me when I tell her what I head today"
I gets to school the next day but David was absent, I felt sad about it, and it happened to be on Friday, just so sad to spend the weekend with disappointment. Saturday was somehow gloomy for me because I don't have the opportunity to see David on Friday. My mother took me to the market and I saw him, but I pretend I did not see him... **" Mary you're a fool, how can you be stupid? He smiled at you and you did not even bother to return it, Girrrrl, you deserve to be single"** Cecilia spanked me. I was angry with myself, but hopefully, on Monday, David will come around to make us meet.
I was ready to meet Francis on Monday, and I was hoping to meet David in class, fortunately, he came to school, but I still pretend as if his absence means nothing and even pretend as if I don't want to see Francis. During or free time David came to me but he did not come alone.
The voice I heard made my heart skip...
`" Hi Mary, I am Francis"`
`Me: hem...hi, how are you?`
`Him: yeah, as you can see, I'm fine, what about you?`
`Me: hemm...fine (pause)`
`Me: so?`
`Him: like.....you wanted to talk with me?`
`Me: me? Not at all, It was your friend David that told me you're single, I did not incite for this, but since he told me, I just want to give it a try... But excuse me, if you think I'm the one who called for this, it's not necessary( i' m I not stupid? what if he contradicts me at the same moments?)`
`Him: hmmm, that's fine, likewise me, I did not tell him to approach you. But we can still be friends if you are okay with it. Can we?, (he asked)`
`Me: Sure, I don't mind.`
`Him: So can you tell me more about yourself, like I wish to know.`
That's how we started we started to talk to each other, and share different kinds of things. Sometimes I do wonder **" did I love him, or it's just an infatuation?, and I never can tell if he will ever confess his love, but I doubt it "** we become close friends but we both never accepted that we like each other but I will always appreciate David for making us come together as a friend, but my main point is that, who will be the first to say those magical words? Can I call this my first love? Is this how love happens? I don't know.....
**....I am confused!**
Thanks for your time.
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`To my upvoters and subscriber, I cannot appreciate you all for your support always, you'll all remaining forever in my heart, never to be blurted out!`
#maryjacycares💙
Yayyyy, I think I'm a little bit chanced now, all these Days, it has been a whole lots of hell, bad days , sad moments and blablablabla .....
Now it's high time for me to get back on track to continue the race, I've been doing on and off like Nigeria electricity.... hehehehe, and I know I've missed a lot, I tender my apologies 🙏
Yeah, i miss reading articles and making comments as well, I don't joke with comment section... hehehehe, like I missed it like seriously...lol
@Bilqees thanks for being there and to everyone I appreciate you all.... Gratias 🙏
Victim of circumstances
Lead image https://pixabay.com/photos/little-boy-window-waiting-bored-731165/
**Tough circumstances happen to be one of the biggest dream killer, and people tend to find it easy to blame the current circumstances, and they end up using it for an excuse why something occurred or the reason why a particular goal or dream is not achieved.**
The majority I've fallen victim of circumstances, for example, you have the knowledge of teaching people how to make their business work out and you make said " I'm still young, how can I be talking to those businessmen who are more bigger than me ", you decided to pull yourself out. You've taken your age as you circumstances and you become a victim to it. Your circumstances could be anything and you will continue to give thousands of excuses then leaving a lot of significant things undone, there are some things you can do not to fall victim of your circumstances.
**1) create a dream board:** some people are blinded by where they are currently, they don't want to make a u-turn but rather remain in their comfort zone.
Creating a dream board will motivate you to achieve your intents and to expand your illusion. Sometimes you can always search the Internet or pick up a magazine or images that are aligned with your dream and goals.
**You might be asking, what do images have to do with dreams?**
The effect of pictures on the mind is phenomenal that you can emanate motivation through them. You can always take 10 minutes of your time to glance at pictures both in the morning and at night, and you can always imagine those pictures becoming part of your reality.
Your current circumstances, (challenges) will become a stepping stone to something greater, it will be a matter of time.
**2) developing positive inner conversation:** we have to learn how to think of positive things, even if we are going through tough circumstances, we have to empower ourselves by telling ourselves how great we are, Instead of accepting to live with circumstances, we should see circumstances as an interlude of what to come.
You'll always be okay with your current situation if your inner conversation isn't positive because you'll not be empowered to achieve your goals, that's all because you have poisoned your mind with the circumstances that surround you.
**3) Hang around people who are doing better than you:** This is also a means of creating possibilities, hanging with people who are always willing to work and are always looking for a way to maximize the potential in them. It will help you to keep on moving presumptuous in life without being stopped by your circumstances. That's why it is important to stay with those people who will inspire you to become better rather than staying with people who always want to fall victim of circumstances.
Thanks for your time.
**These are my great sponsors,they are all amazing, you can use a little moment to check their blog. And I'm using this medium to appreciate** @George_Dee **for renewing his sponsorship, like I feel so blessed , and to** @Pearlkel **I'm so grateful... Gratias 🙏**
`To my upvoters and subscriber, thanks for your support and love, you've always been my source of inspiration...will always love you to the moon and back to read.cash❤️`
#maryjacycares💙
It's okay not to be okay
Lead image https://pixabay.com/photos/sunset-tree-silhouette-dusk-lonely-3156176/
Sometimes we are being faced with setbacks and bad days, and some rough patches and things begin to go wrong after another and another, you find yourself stressing out to the point of not knowing what to do. No creativity and you're being faced with zero motivation and suddenly you're afflicted with self-doubt.
**Do you think you have to be strong all the time? Do you think is not allowed to cry, to divulge that you're not okay, Sometimes it's okay not to be okay....**
This is an experience I've been toiling with for the last couple of months, this got me wondering about the sudden change in my mood, well it might be part of the grieving process. I'm not certain about the condition of things going back to normal, but the definite thing I know is that I'm not okay, I'm not doing too well even to myself.
It's okay not to be okay, don't ignore to feel bad, just because you feel you're the only one who feels unmotivated or lost. Take off your mind from what others are doing. We all know what it's like to "not to be okay" even if most of us are hiding under the mask and pretend it's all good, we all go through some sh*ts sometimes. But doesn't sound like a fun place to be? Not at all, it doesn't last forever.
**The real truth is that....**
Whenever I'm feeling this way, I'm nothing but incapacitated with a self skepticism, sometimes I'm just like **" oh my God, why me?, I always write about being happy and prudence, but here I am sitting here and crying because I have a tough moment, oh! What's my problem, what's wrong with me?"**. It's just a confusing situation to be because I feel that my genuineness is being jeopardized.
Well, some of the things I learned in the last couple of months is that the more I ignore feeling "bad", the worse you'll feel. This kind of situation prompted me to write the last article I posted here... **Why backwardness in good thing?** Part 1 and part 2, I cannot but ponder on the article... https://read.cash/@Maryjacy/lifewhy-the-backwardness-in-good-things-33e5f9e6 https://read.cash/@Maryjacy/life-why-the-backwardness-in-good-thing-continuation-e12a7e05
Though you might be trying to get better but you don't have to force yourself to heal, we have to learn how to be patient with ourselves. See those days like a passing cloud that seems so hard to see through the sun, knowing full well it's there and you know it will come out eventually.
**Moving on...**
I allowed those feelings to take over, I did not do all those things that made me sane, I tried to walk through my problems and stick to my daily routine, this can partially make a big difference. Despite what you might be going through, learn how to forgive yourself, we should understand that sometimes things fall apart so that we can find ourselves all over again.
Thanks for your time.
**These are my sponsors, they are amazing, thanks for your love and encouragement..**
`To my upvoters and subscribers, thanks for your support, and thanks for the love you all showed me..`
Wow, I just woke up this morning and the first I do is to log in into my read.cash account, I was really surprised with with I saw, it's indeed a blessing for me to start today with a good vibe.... hehehe
@Olasquare , I really appreciate your sponsorship renew , and this time around, it indeed a huge surprise for me, thanks for your encouragement and support , I feel loved, may God continue to bless you. Gratias 🙏
Life: why the backwardness in good thing? - continuation
Lead image https://pixabay.com/illustrations/depression-sad-alone-girl-struggle-6773283/
Hello my lovely readers, hope you're all good, I've been so busy with school work and there's not much time for me to be here, the semester seems too Short to complete the semester because there are lots of work to cover up, I just have to squeeze the time to complete the article I was writing. I am sorry for dropping the continuation very late, if you want to read the first part, you can click here 👉 why the backwardness in good things https://read.cash/@Maryjacy/lifewhy-the-backwardness-in-good-things-33e5f9e6
**In the previous article, I wrote about drown-proofing and how it is related to our life using linear curves and diminishing return curve for demonstration. Today I'm going to write about the last curve which is an inverted curve with some other important things we should know.**
**Inverted curve;** is just like a bizarro twilight zone curve, because effort and reward have a negative correlation i.e the more effort you put in doing a particular thing, the more you'll fail to do it. Just like drown-proofing, you'll fail if you put more effort into rising to the surface of the pool. I know you're thinking " is this real, or who gives the shit about inverted curve?" in fact, I can say that the most essential things and goals in our life all exist on an inverted curve.
The relationship here effort and reward in the linear curve are mindless and simple and when the action is complicated and multivariate, effort and reward operate under diminishing return but an experience that exists within our consciousness operates under an inverted curve because the action Is pure psychological. The desire for greater freedom often causes us to feel trapped.
**Aldous Huxley** said In his article - The law of reversed effort **" the harder we try with the conscious will to do something, the less we shall succeed. Proficiency and result come only to those who have learned the paradoxical art of doing and not doing, or combining relaxation with activities"** https://www.awakin.org/v2/read/view.php?tid=100
when we are conscious to create a state of mind, the desire to create a state of mind creates a different one and sometimes, it's always opposite to the one we are trying to create because most fundamental components of our psychology are paradoxical and this extend to some aspect of our mental health and relation if not all:
**1) freedom:** The desire for freedom will ironically limit us to certain things because we will be obliging ourselves to certain things in life because we want to be free.
**2) control:** Our emotional life is uncontrollable, it becomes worse when we try to control it, we will be able to process our feelings the more we accept them because we'll feel more powerless the more we are striving to control our feelings
**3) Security:** When we are comfortable with skepticism we'll feel secure because we generate more insecurity the more we are trying to be secured.
**4) Trust:** we have to trust others to make them trust us because the more we try to make people trust us, the less keen they will be to do so.
**5) Love:** people love us less the more we are trying to make them live us and that makes us love and accept ourselves the less.
**6) Respect:** People will respect us if we respect others but the more you seek respect, the less respect you'll get.
**7) Change:** we have to accept ourselves the way we are and that will make us grow more, but the more we are striving to change, we will always have a feeling that we are not enough.
**8) confidence:** If we accept our faults, we will feel more comfortable within ourselves but trying to be confident create more insecurity and anxiety within us.
**9) Meaning:** we feel a more heartfelt impact when we try to add meaning to other people's life but the more we incite a deep meaning to our life, we'll become obsessed and shallow.
All these internal psychological experiences subsist on an inverted curve, they are the cause and the effect of some things in our mind. Our mind is just like a dog that has been successful in catching other creatures but when the dog used the same technique on its own tail it does not work. **It might look logical to a dog because the same chasing has made her catch everything, why not her tail?**
A dog can never catch her own tail no matter how hard the dog fights, the tail runs away the more she chases it and the dog fails to understand that she and the tail are the same thing.
**We have to learn how to let go, there are some times in life that we must give up by surrendering not out of weakness but because the world is beyond our grasp, we do it not because we feel powerful but because we are powerful, sometimes things are beyond our control, we have to let go, that does mean we are a failure or you have no clue of what you're doing.**
We must learn how to sway to our fear, just when we think it's not possible when we think all hope is gone when we think there's no way and we are about to drown, but when we get to the bottom, we'll be lunched back to our reprieve, that's just some fact we have to know about life.
Thanks for your time.
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Life:Why the backwardness in good things?
**In the process of trying all your efforts to get what you want in life, you might end up losing everything if you don't apply the right Skill.**
Lead image https://pixabay.com/de/photos/ertrinken-mann-meer-h%c3%a4nde-5654815/
There's a navy seal training known as **" Drown proofing "** it a situation whereby their hands and feet are tied together then they'll be dumped into a deep pool about 9 feet deep, **then what's left for them is to know how to survive for 5 minutes but in the process,** the majority of them screamed and panic to be lifted back out to the surface of the pool, some will continue to struggle, but the more the struggle for their life the more they drown underwater and they end up losing consciousness and they are being fished out of the water and rejuvenated, some died in the process of the training.
**However, see people survived it because they understand the rule i.e the counterintuitive lessons.**
**1) The first rule is paradoxical;** The more you struggle to be above the water, the more you are likely to sink to the base of the water.
It is apparent for them to be above the water for five minutes with their hands and foot tied up, the trick about drown-proofing is to relax and let your body sink on its own to the base of the pool and your momentum will carry you back to the surface of the pool, then immediately, you grab a quick breath, seem difficult right?
Therefore, you don't need to know how to swim before you'll survive drown-proofing, it does not require swimming at all or either does it require superhuman strength, it is all about surrendering yourself to save your life.
**2) The second law is paradoxical too but prominent;** you'll be drawn and be unconscious the more you panic because more oxygen will be burned, that means your survival turns your instinct against you, the more drastic you are struggling to live, the more you'll create a chance to die, that's just the trick. The more you're trying to breathe, the more you'll find it hard.
**Drown-proofing is a test to know if you'll be able to control yourself emotionally in an outrageous danger, will you be able to take the risk to secure the things of higher value or goals in the face of potential death?** The skill is more crucial than your toughness or how smart you might be but it is all about letting go of control when you want it the most, it is an important skill that is obliged to individual, not only for seal training, it is important too when it comes to LIFE, you'll also need to apply the drown-proofing skills in some aspect of life.
**Using some curves to explain some realities about life...**
The majority of people believe that working twice will produce twice results, the relationship between effort and reward is not one-to-one, the truth is that **life does not exist in a linear curve.**
**A linear relationship** is for a repetitive task e.g cleaning the bathroom, driving a car e.t.c all these determine the effort you put into them, if you drive for 1 hour, it will be different from when you drive for 2 hours, I.e the higher the input, the higher the output, but it happens that way because it needs no invention, most activities don't appear under a linear curve because most activities are emotionally tasking, sophisticated and requires adaptation. **Most activities are like a diminishing return curve.**
**In a diminishing return curve,** the more you experience something, the less rewarding it becomes or the less interest you'll have for them, taking for instance money.
**Money:** The difference between $180,000 and $200,000 is enormous, but it's basically a rounding error when returning the tax, your tax payment will be different from someone with $180,000.
Diminishing return are experience that is highly valuable from the start but as time goes on, it diminishes in value the more you do them, maybe you are the type that does visit your mother frequently but as time goes on........( mom I'm sorry, I can't make it this time around). Another one is friendship.
**Friendship:** Having one friend is okay, likewise having 2 friends is normal but having 10 instead of 9 changes some things in your life basically. There are majority of things in life that operate under diminishing return e.g eating, staying up late at night to complete some task, taking a vacation, just to mention but few, the more you do them, the less value you'll have for them as days go by.
**You'll see that they are all good things in life but there are times you'll get tired of them.**
Yeah, I'll be stopping here to avoid a lengthy post and my fingers aches...lol 🤣, this is not the end of this article, there's still another curve I'll be writing on in my next post, that will probably be the last part and the most important aspect of the post as well.
Thanks for your time...
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They told me I'll be fine
Lead image https://pixabay.com/de/photos/traurigkeit-deprimiert-frau-m%c3%a4dchen-3434515/
*Feels like putting it into the pen, maybe I'll feel better. can you listen to the silent scream? it is so loud and it echoes again and again in my trance. Behind the bright light that shines, lies a dark tunnel that goes after a mile. Behind the grin on my face, lies a sad face covered with a mask.*
*wish the silent scream in my mind could be heard from afar but even nearer, it could not be felt. I said I'm fine but my thought could not be heard. It's just a silent scream that carries no words, a feeling of sadness that comes in its herds.*
*They told me I'll be fine, they told me that I'm strong enough to face the battle. They told me it will all be good if I should hold on and bear the Storm weather. They said all I need is to keep fighting but they seem to forget that night comes in after each day and none could understand the dreadful hour. I acted and play along but slowly, this crushing darkness breaks my heart.*
*How can I drill, how can I heal and how can I explain? I found myself walking around in a suffocating black mist. I can't explain how it feels but sealed my voice to cover my silent screams. Happiness seems to drip like water between my fingers, then it disappeared into the sand.*
*sometimes it is hard to get off the bad scenario that filled up my messy head. can't even find the effort to get out of my silly stale bed, not even the effort to smile, even when I attempt, a smile doesn't last long. I was surrounded by the world but I feel lonely, yet pretended that I am the happiest in the world.*
*Hiding the pain, hiding the tears that drop like rain, saying I'm fine while the ache in my soul slashes at my guts but you'll never know how it feels. The constant pain isn't real in the light of the day but when darkness comes, slowly it pulls me down with its all-consuming Powers. Yeah, sure I'm gonna play, laugh, and sing some songs, but I could still feel the injury that keeps lurking in my heart.*
*How long shall it be? finding some courage to light up the fire inside my heart. I'm gonna walk along the green pasture to feel nature and there I shall feel the crips sea breeze, and on the meadow shall I lay to listen to the bees and to listen to the sweet symphonies of the birds. Glaring at the stars and dance to every sunset with an enchanted smile inside my heart.*
Thanks for your time.....
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`To my upvoters and subscriber, thanks for the love and support. Sorry for being away for days, just trying to overcome some challenges, hope you'll bear with me... keeps you all sealed to my heart, never to be blurted out.`
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Feeling sad??
Good morning my great readers, hope you're doing great. It's a new brand new day and people will be busy with their daily activities, and I believe that today is gonna be great.
I want to come online yesterday but I was not feeling too good after coming back from school, I was caught up with a fever, I took some drugs and then I relax. waking up this morning I feel better than yesterday. All thanks to God.
**To the main purpose of this article....**
Lead image https://pixabay.com/de/photos/menschen-emotion-dramatisch-1492052/
**Human life is just like a paradox, it is composed of Joy and sadness, you'll be happy today then feel sad tomorrow and vice versa. There are some moments that everything is filled with joy and laughter while there's are some moments when you'll be in the darkest moment of life that will make you to be sad.**
Everyone gets sad at times and is part of human, but it is not good when the feeling is taking a long period, when this happens, you started having some feelings, You get angry easily, things that mean nothing to you before will always piece you off when you're sad.
**These are the things you'll experience when you're feeling sad.**
- You stop seeing friends, you'll prefer to stay alone with your feelings, you'll feel like not talking to anyone, you push them away even when they tend to come closer to you.
- You care less about the things that interest you, everything will seem not to be okay with you, you even find it difficult to do the things you love doing without any reason.
- You always be emotional for no reason, you'll always feel like crying even when nothing happens, things that don't count will make you want to cry and you Know how silent cry can be worse more than anything, this is just like you're draining your heart.
- Sleeping more or less, your sleep mode will change, you'll find yourself sleeping more than you use to do or lesser than usual.
- You'll find it hard to do things you used to do, it might be your work or chores, you feel like staying the whole day without doing nothing, you just want to be alone and be lost with your emotions. Maybe as a writer, you'll always find it difficult to write, any attempt to do so seems impossible. As a worker, you tend to stay at home and you are less concerned about it.
**There are still other things that constitute sadness:**
- Going through something stressful
- Problem at school or work
- Being around people who are going through a hard time
- Hormonal changes.
**Solutions that can make you feel better**
**1) Write down your feelings:** sometimes when you write about you feel you become better, writing it will make the causes of your sadness to be obvious, you'll know how you feel and that makes you feel better thereafter.
**2) Talk to someone you trust:** Holding back tears will always hurt you and makes you to be sad, don't pretend to be okay, be open with the things you're going through by talking to a friend or someone you trust, they might have gone through the same phase you're going through and they will be there to help you feel happy. When you speak out your feelings, you'll feel better.
**3) Face things head on:** what I mean is to avoid staying in bed all day when you're sad, sir up and stay where people are gathering, at least some scenes will make you laugh.
**Note:** This is something I've gone through and I know how it feels, those feelings I mentioned above are the things I've battled with and I'm trying to overcome them. You can't cope with emotional problems on your own, try to talk to people, a counselor can always help you out to figure out what's going on and they'll guide you on how to overcome your sad moments.
Thanks for your time.
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`Yeah, I'm going to school now, will be replying to all comments and also visiting other posts when I'm back. love you all to the moon and back to read.cash`
Getting rid of worries - Mattew 6:25
**Good morning my lovely readers, hope you all had a great night? . I would have made this post yesterday, but the network has been very bad at my own end since yesterday and this morning too, it's also the same thing, but is still manageable compared to that of yesterday.**
yeah, I'm getting into today's article which is all about worry.
Lead image https://pixabay.com/de/photos/frau-besorgt-albtraum-betonen-3351794/
In the life of some people, worry happens to be an everyday adventure, it becomes part of their life and it becomes the piece of who they are. At times, we become anxious to be laid back and we thought of how to get rid of worry, "today I'm not going to worry about anything, Today I'm going to stop worrying", but does it work the way we said it, we find it difficult to stop worrying, we even find ourselves in a bigger mess of worrying about not to worry.. sound somehow right?
how do we get rid of worry?
**In mattew 6:25,** Jesus talked about worry in which he instructed us not to worry about anything
The majority of the things we need makes us to be worried day in day out, we are eager to get all our needs, it might be money, looking for a job, you need a new car, you need to be in your mansion, etc, all these things are the necessity of life, things we need to live a standard life, but we can always be happy without all these things as well. we should not be carried away with all this, otherwise, we'll always be worried to get them all at all cost.
Verse 33 talked about seeking God first in all we do, we should trust him and his promises, he's going to provide for our needs, he's always there to lighten our heavy burden even in the darkest moment of our life, that's if we have faith in him.
If we are to think about what we want, we'll always worry, we should not begin everything to suit ourselves, but we should start everything with Jesus who is the author and finisher of our faith.
sometimes, if I want to start something that seems difficult or I'm afraid to start, what I do is putting everything into God's care, I place all my worries before him and I do everything with peace of mind with trust in him that he's going to perfect everything.
**What are those things that we are worrying about constantly and we spend all our time with it?**
**are we ready to give control of that worry to Jesus and are we ready to build our relationship with him?**
if we take all our worries to him, he will fulfill all his promises to us because it is only by Jesus that our worries will begin to faded away.
thanks for your time.
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Is life fair?
hello my lovely readers, sure you're all doing great, I'm very sorry for not being active here for some days now, and I will say while I was away, I've been so occupied but I'm still online doing some things but could not make it to read.cash. and sometimes I feel weak. but all good and fine, I pray nothing will hold me back again, I said "today I'm not going to miss it", and I'm glad that I make it here today... accept my apology 🙏.
`I wish you all a happy new year since this is my first post here this morning. I miss you all, and I appreciate those who asked after me as well. thanks a bunch 🤗`
**Now to the purpose of this post....**
**Is life fair?**
Lead image https://pixabay.com/photos/nature-horizon-plant-sky-cloud-2597056/
sometimes we tend to ourselves this question, is life fair? **life is fair and it's not fair, it depends on how you view it.**
There are some talks these days about what is fair and what is not. 99% of people believe that life has treated them unfairly while 1% believe that life is fair with everything it brings, well my question goes thus:
**what do you mean by fair?**
**is life fair?**
**and why should life be fair?.** However , I'm going to frame the answer and you'll decide the right answer.
Thinking about how you came into this world, at the first sight we have no idea or choice of how we come into this world but gradually our insight begins to open to different kinds of things which make us have choices as grow. As we have no control over the beginning of our life, we tend to have the ability to influence the outcome we attain.
Talking about what is fair and what is not fair deals with the state of our mind, the way we see things, and most often, it is always an unhealthy state of mind in your career, in business, and about life generally. At times, we might want to shift the blame of what we are facing to our parents, teachers, perhaps our society, but the truth is based on the attitude we adopt and the choice we make.
Nonetheless, haven't you heard of people overcoming their tough times? , it might be poverty, drug addiction, victimization, virtually every challenge you might think of but quote me with this: ****"life is filled with the example of the uneducated"******.** In school, you'll be thought before you learn but in life, you gonna learn your lesson first.
The majority of the successful people we know are born in abject poverty but choose to overcome their Challenges by leaving the world better than they found it, instead of complaining about life being unfair. They choose to contribute to the society instead of making complaints.
However, what I'm disputing here is to regulate, legislate that fairness somehow solves the world's problems, people desire and determination can overcome most of life Challenges because authorizations don't create fairness.
It doesn't matter the circumstances you came into the world, but all that matters is what you make out from the world when you arrive by putting aside whether you are born with a silver spoon, or plastic spoon or without a spoon, all that matters is the choice you make today and that will determine where you'll be tomorrow.
**Fair is not a standard to be imposed but things we need to adapt to,** it restricts all under the impression of equility and equilibrium, it occurs as a rationalization or justification. You have to get used to life, and when you mess up, it is not your parents or your teacher's fault, you have to learn from your mistakes without whining about it.
**This is just the little thing I have to say about life.. you'll be the one to decide if it is fair or not, and your contribution is highly welcome.**
Thanks for your time.
**These are my sponsors, I appreciate you for your love, and to those people who renew their sponsorship while I was away, I'm very grateful. gracias 🙏**
`To my upvoters and subscribers, I cannot but appreciate you for your support, always love you to the moon 🌒 and back to read.cash`
Still in the mood for Christmas
Lead image https://pixabay.com/de/photos/weihnachten-weihnachtsbaum-1869902/
**Hello my lovely readers, I believe you're still enjoying the season of Christmas, is not over yet, some are still wining and dining, while some are on holiday visiting friends and having fun.**
The Christmas celebration is indeed a fun one, it's nice meeting people I have seen for a long period, we took pictures together and we also spend precious moments with each other. if you care to know how I spend my Christmas, you can click here and phew! it will take you there. https://peakd.com/hive-168869/@maryjacy/it-was-indeed-a-fun
I'm using this moment to also to appreciate @Princessbusayo for his generosity, the gift she sent to me was indeed a huge gift, I'm not going to mention it, but did you know the kind of feeling you have when you see the message **" send me your BCH address?"** 🤣🤣, I was filled with enthusiasm to send it because I know it gonna be something huge, ma'am @princessbusayo, I can't thank you enough, thanks for loving me ❤️.
I saw the post made by @Bilqeesee , it was really fun that I almost laugh out tears... hehehehe, when she talked about some annoying guests, I know the feeling when you're the only person going for all the errands during Christmas celebration especially when there's a visitor, bilqees bring that, bilqees bring this, I can't stop laughing, but fun all the way , less I forget, I haven't seen the plate of rice you want to give me ., I'm still expecting it... hehehehe
well I'm still in the mood for Christmas and there are still some Christmas gifts I'm still expecting from my boss and bosses, don't mind the silly me😋, @Olasquare it been days I tasted from you dose but that doesn't mean I will not collect my Christmas something ☺️☺️, @George_Dee I'm looking forward to my Christmas fish, I can't wait to eat a smoked catfish this time around ... hehehehe @Kushyzee hope how is the celebration over there.
who is still owning me a Christmas gift? errrrrrrr, I can't remember, but you can signify if you're owing me a Christmas gift I will be right at your doorstep to take ....🤣🤣🤣
well, I'm gonna drop a little token here, ..ssshhhhh wait! don't scroll down yet, just Keep reading ..., I know you have scrolled down, but all good and fine, don't hesitate to get the Short message. ...lol
what's the celebration all about?
Src https://pixabay.com/de/illustrations/weihnachten-geschenke-schnee-3030279/
Christmas celebration is not all about having a detty December or about winning and dining just like I have mentioned before, it's a season of giving, a season where you'll meet with old friends and exchange gifts with each other.
however, the majority of people don't view it in that perspective, they believe it is a season for merriment, forgetting those who could not afford what to eat this season, some people are trapped with loneliness that they even have the feeling of this season, moving closer to them will make them feel among. Yesterday, I came across an article, you can read it now or in your leisure time. I was touched when I read through it. https://peakd.com/@yaziris/winter-has-come
who are you able to show love to?
Christmas is a season of love, showing love to people around you, and the joy of Christmas will remain with you. Not necessary you'll have in abundance before you can do that.
During this period, I have friends who called, knowing fully well that they don't have, I just have to give out the little I can with some token, I Know I don't have enough, but I'm happy that I was able to put a smile to some people face.
YEAH, what am I saying, the season is still on, and some people around you need your help, **don't make thousands of excuses for not helping, but have a reason for showing love to them,** not anyone sake or for their sake but " everything you do to the least of my brethren that you do unto me"
errrrrrrr, I'm going to say much, this is where I will be stopping.
**To my sponsors, thanks for loving me unceasingly.**
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#maryjacycares💙
Hello my lovely readers, truth me told , I really miss all your amazing Posts, the stories the inspiration and motivation I got from every post is something to talk about.
Like for days now I've not been able to participate fully on read.cash here, all I just do is to post and also upvote some post here, then go away ..but despite the fact that I was unable to engage , you Keep showing me love, it really amazed me .
I will always love you all 😍😍
YEAH, I'm gonna make it up . Gracias 🙏
Under the mask
*Lead image* https://pixabay.com/de/photos/fantasy-surreal-maske-wand-auge-2506830/
Our is culture obsessed with realism but I want to ask, what if the universal notion of being authentic is based on a lie?
There's a belief that people are not who they claim to be not until they come across what will bring out their real self, underneath all masks, there's a real face that is yours, that's nothing but the truth. and how long will you be on the mask without unveiling it?
You have to be yourself and be genuine, let people know the real you, and stop hiding under the mask
Once you figure who you truly are and you also realize how to be yourself, you'll feel much happier. Make some positive changes about yourself and learn how to be proactive.
Below, I will be writing out 10 points about pleasing yourself
**1) Don't aim to please others:** Just do what you know is the right thing for you to do, it's a big issue if you're working based on what people what you to do, you don't have even have the choice of your own. You don't have to please others and displease yourself... Just like I said, do what you know is right for you.
**2) Don't worry about how others perceive you:** Though at times, the way other people view us might want to change us to be good, but the truth persists that, you should not be wondering constantly what people speculate about you, if you want to change, make it your wish, and change into what or who you want to change into, enough of phony life.
**3) learn more about yourself:** Do you really know who you are? Ever since you're young, have you ever tried to do what pleases you? Though it might be weird to spend a day being your spontaneous self, you might be having a diverse feeling, but intrinsically, that's the only way you can learn how to be yourself.
**4) Appreciate yourself:** No how weird you may be, learn how to acknowledge who you are, everyone is unique in their way, and everyone has a little weirdness in themselves, so you have to appreciate it that way and let it go.
**5) Be optimistic about who you are:** have you ever been skeptical about yourself? Being skeptical will make you want to compare yourself with others constantly and will be wondering with the notion of "what if?"
**6) learn how to forgive yourself:** forgive yourself for the negative thoughts you've had, forgive yourself for the action you took without thinking twice. Don't ever feel bad for the wrong decision you have made in the past, because putting your mind there will make you focus more on the problem instead of looking for a solution. Say good things to yourself, the mistake has been made already and you just have to move on with life by making adjustments. Forgive yourself and say positive things about yourself.
**7) Stop being pessimistic:** it is important to be yourself and be stay positive. You can find it easy to be negative about yourself due to the catastrophe around you. But you can still be positive.
**8) Do what you love doing:** everyone has a hobby they love doing, figure out what you love to do and make a hobby out of it, have a passion for what you love doing. Doing what you love will always make you go be filled with happiness.
**9) learn from your mistake:** when you learn from your mistake. You'll get to know much about yourself, you'll have to know what you can do and your weakness as well. You know your real identity without pretense.
**10) strive for what you want to accomplish:** You can improve yourself while remaining true to yourself, you don't have to be glued in a status quote for the sake of being yourself, aim for what you want to obtain, and strive for the attainment.
thanks for your time !
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`To my subscribers and upvoters , I appreciate you all, I love you all to the moon 🌒 and back to read.cash and I wish you all a joyful Christmas in advance.`
#maryjacycares💙
Think about why you started...
Hello my lovely readers, it's another week again and everyone will be busy with one thing or the other, and some goals are planned for today that have to be achieved before the week runs down if you're determined.
Errrrrrrr, the atmosphere is very cold over here and it seems I want to freeze, hehehehe, the sweater seems not be working for me, oops! I'm freezing already...
**yeah, head up!**
*Src* https://pixabay.com/de/photos/die-herausforderung-mission-5115408/
success doesn't happen in a blink of an eye, you just can't wake to make a wish to be expecting an overnight Miracle. Real success comes with pain, overcoming trials and perseverance when you're being faced with various failure without developing an **"I give up"** attitude. There's are some things we gain if we don't give up.
**1) Your desire will be ignited:** are you ready to push yourself to the risky path of success? our desires should ignite us to achieve our dream, whenever we think of giving up, our desires keep fueling us like a rocket to keep moving. just like a famous saying....
**" desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything"**
*~ Napoleon _Hill* https://www.brainyquote.com/authors/napoleon-hill-quotes
*Source* https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/napoleon_hill_165555/
we should keep ourselves motivated even when can't find motivation around. self-motivation will make you do what you think will never be possible...
**2)You will eliminate your fear:** it is all about the courage in commencing a battle and the way you keep fighting with Faith of winning in life. Don be overshadowed with fear of the unknown, it kills dreams faster than anything **"how will I start, hope I'm gonna succeed, what will people say ?"**, these are the things that keep us back from achieving our dreams. we allow fear to overshadow us even before we start. Not giving you attitude will make is to have negative thinking that will help us to abolish fear to face anything.
**3) You become prepared for everything:** when you don't give up, you prepare yourself for the worse to come because along the way, you'll be faced with failure, you have to be bold in other to fight harder for your dreams. success is all about taking risks.
**4) New opportunities for creativity will open for you:** never give up attitude will dare ourselves to do unlimited things, we do decide different things to makes us stand out. we should not allow our society to stop you from seeing our real worth, reaching out for opportunities, and exploring your talents for yourself and your society as well. Being creative will you to find a better opportunity and it will take you to see a new perspective in life.
**5) You dare to try things other people are afraid of:** when you determine not to give up, you'll have a high spirit of being ravenous for success, you'll have the eagerness of trying what other people are finding It complicated to do. You want to attain the best result in all gaps of life (sport, hobbies, etc) without minding the risk and that makes you different from other people. A saying goes thus.. you cannot be doing what ordinary people are doing and be expecting a different result, you have to be crazy with what you want by making a difference to achieve a different result.
**6) Your emotional intelligence will be improved:** your emotional intelligence is one of the primary keys to make things work out successfully, you should have the ability to be able to control your emotions become there are sometimes that we need to put 100% of effort in attaining our goals, but still, what we planned for did not work out as expected. it's a normal part of any process in life.
when we fail again, it is normal but we learn from those losses, the process of learning from our failure is when we can control our emotions from the damage we experience and we'll be more efficient in all kinds of situations.
*Lead image* https://pixabay.com/de/photos/nicht-aufgeben-motivation-schreiben-3403779/
**7) You develop effective work ethics:** You'll always have the belief to get things done with your willingness to do anything to achieve your goals, and this keeps you motivated to give more value to any work you're doing.
**8) You will believe that anything you can perceive is possible:** if we can dream about it, we can achieve it, everything is possible if we have the strong determination to achieve it. Not giving up will make you have the energy to power up yourself to do anything and when you're in a thirst for success, you'll be ready to come out from your comfort zone to take action.
**9) Not giving up leads you to happiness:** How do we feel when we achieve our goals? of course we'll be happy because our efforts have paid off. There's is great joy in success because we are able to defeat all our difficult challenges along our journey.
**10) You earn something new:** There are hidden strengths and potentials in us but we will only discover this if we don't give up . in our journey to success we learn how to turn our failure into a fortune.
Note:
**it is usually challenging to work on your dream, it is another thing to start a race and it is another thing to finish the race, sometimes you'll think of giving up but when you're thinking of giving up, think about the reason why you started the journey in the first place, if you give up now, what will be your gain? the reason why you started will give you the strength to keep pushing.**
Thanks for your time.
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I felt empty
*Src* https://pixabay.com/de/illustrations/m%c3%a4nner-leere-seele-blumen-4052354/
what about the memory we had, I thought I found the person I will spend the rest of my life with, one who I will share my worries with, one who I will take as my companion but I could not see it come into reality, it all vanishes in the air just like a cloud of smoke without leaving a trace, now alone with a broken heart and finding it difficult to heal.
Three years back I met a girl, she's the type of girl that every man will love to have, her beauty and her uniqueness, she has this charming smile that can melt the heart of a man no matter how strong it might be, but sometimes she cares about me while sometimes she doesn't show care, and this makes me have a mixed feeling **"Does she love me or not?"**, but I still love her the way I find her, we shared everything in common, we both had dinner together, cuddling during holidays, we often laugh out tears but she has never stayed overnight in my place but I love her calm face that I will love to see her face for eternity, even though she never care that much.
it has been three years that we have been together, but I'm wondering why she has not introduced me to her parents, she has never talked about it for once, I keep asking myself **" I'm I not wasting my time with her?, does she love me the way I do?, or I'm just dealing with a one-sided Love."** well I said nothing, I kept all those thoughts within myself not until she started to act weird, she stopped calling, not even a text, but I will always call her, though I'm not always convinced with the way she talks whenever I call, even when I text her first, it will take her hours to reply me with a one-word letter.
*Lead image* https://pixabay.com/de/illustrations/gesicht-leer-frau-warten-wartezeit-66317/
I could not keep it any longer to myself, I was forced to so her why she's behaving in such a manner but her response explode like a thunderstorm in my ear that I could hardly find my balance, **" since I met you, I don't know how I feel about you, I'm not sure if I love you or not, that's why I'm keeping my distance",** that's all she said. she started going out with her friends and care less about me, I was thinking that one day she will change her mind but her gesture keep telling me "go away" but I ignored the signs.
She told me the striking word **"I don't want you in my life again, I just want you out of my way and out of your life" .** so after three years, the person whom I love and care for is playing a fake love to me, "what a time wasted!" **I felt empty** I don't know why I'm getting it wrong, I've never done anything against her wish, I always do things just to make her happy, even when it seems she doesn't care, I showed her the love she deserves and I treated her like a queen and all I got is the other side of love, she threw those thousands day we've spent together in the trash and leave me empty.
I was Left alone in the middle of the dark blue sea to sink, jealous from Labrinth have become my favorite song, am, jealous of the shadow closer to her, I'm jealous of the way she's happy without me, I need the strength to stand without her, but I will always wish her all the goodies of the world anywhere she may find herself.
Thanks for your time.
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**To my upvoters, and subscribers , I appreciate you all. And I'm sorry that I was not active today online, I traveled and it becomes an hectic journey, I'm so tired now and feeling sleepy while writing this, I'm going to reply all comments morning , and also engage with other posts as well. Much love ❤️💙**
#maryjacycares💙
@Maryjacy
