Charging...
Everything has been draining my energy, my will to live and my motivation to keep going. I don't know what's the exact reason but I became sadder as days go by. It's not my intention to feel this way because who likes to be lonely? This feeling grow swiftly than I imagine. I thought I can fight this sadness if I talk to someone or if I bond with my closest friends. I did both but none made me feel better. It even made me feel worse for I feel like I'm the saddest when I am away with those people. I became dependent for a while. I know it's human nature to be sad sometimes for not everyday is Christmas.
Being sad will make us appreciate how it feels to be truly happy. However, if the feeling of being sad persists, that's when it goes beyond normal. Like in my case, I've been feeling down for almost 5 days. There's a lot of things running around my mind and I can't chase them one by one. It's so hard to keep up and I don't know where to start or what should I do first to eliminate what I feel. Have you also been lonely for a long time? How did you cope with it? Care to share?
**What are the things that make me sad?**
There are a lot but I will just share the ones that keep on popping.
**First is the feeling of not being at home.** Yes, I do live in a house that is way more nice and big than ours but I can't feel the atmosphere of what we called, "home." This house is big but it doesn't feel like home. Everyone in here are like mad everyday and I can't feel the bond of them, being a family. They seldom eat together unlike what we do at home. They talk like they're annoyed at all times. I am not used to this kind of set-up because my grandma and grandpa are both cheerful and they seldom get angry. We don't communicate in angry tone too!
For these reasons, I feel like I can't survive in the environment I wasn't used to. Oh, maybe I can survive but I will not be happy. I can't do what I want to do since I feel like I am being watched and it felt like I tiptoed every time I will go out of the room.
Even if our little home has a lot of holes and some would even call it "rat's home", I would still choose to live there because that's where I found happiness that other homes can't give. Though it's blazing hot there during noon time, and a lot of rain water drops from our roof when it's raining, I will still choose that home for my family is there.
I miss our home and this makes me sad.
I miss our home and I think going back there should be my first move.
**Second, I worry about my future too much.** Whenever I see that message of someone pops from a group chat saying that she/he has received a call from the Department of Education, I feel sad and nervous at the same time because I am anticipating to receive that call too. I want to be hired before this year ends. This is the second year that I applied for that job and I think this has been a long wait already. Well, I can still wait but I do want to start A.S.A.P because who doesn't, right? Starting early means earning already.
I can't erase in mind the possibility of not being hired this year and I feel like I can't fullfil the dream of my family because of that for they're rooting for me and waiting for me to be in the world of teaching. Some of my batch mates are in already and it's making me more restless.
*Until when I should wait?*
**Third is being unable to let my family know about my situation - that I am not happy.** I don't want them to think of me because I know grandma and grandpa have a lot of things to do in the farm. But even though they're tired and busy there, I can say that they are happy. Whenever I saw their posts on Facebook along with my sisters, I want to tell them that I miss them already and I want to be with them just like before. I wish to be with them whenever they drink beer at home and have a good time playing cards or having karaoke. I wish to be with them so I can see my dogs as well. I really miss dogs and cats and I am sure they feel the same. As of this moment, I know that a hug from my pets will lift me up automatically.
**Fourth is that I want to avoid someone in here but I can't since she's living here too.** I am not that mean. I can adjust to someone and go with their vibe but this one is so hard to please. She's always mad and she wants everything to be perfect. She would always complain that she's tired even though she's just doing the normal household chores like cooking rice, sweeping the front yard, and cleaning the mess her kid has made. Those are the three things she does everyday but she made me feel like I add her burdens. You know it's hard to live in a place if there's someone who doesn't feel your vibe though she's not saying it.
I know I should not mind her but it is hard since we see each other everyday.
She makes me sad because I feel like I did something wrong which displeased her.
These are the things that kept on running in my mind. They made me up all night that I lose sleep. They occupy my mind most of the time and I don't know if I should let them pay for the rent so they would go away. Urgh, if only I can.
I don't have a plan to write today, honestly. I don't know what got into me but there's something from behind me telling that I should start kicking or else I will lose the battle I created. If I don't write, I will not earn. If I will not earn, then I will feel more empty and useless.
That's why I realized that I should charge myself and regain my happy hormones. It will take days but I am pretty sure that I will be fully-charged soon. As much as possible, I should avoid writing my dramas here to cut the sadness so it won't spread in the platform.
I'm taking my time to recharge.
Charging...
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
Shout-out to @Janz for the sponsorship renewal. Daghang salamat mamsh. 💚
`Lead image edited from Canva`
Ciao! ❤️
Sunday mourning
Why do songs bring back memories? Why do they carry messages that can get through us though they are just words sang with music? I mean they are just songs and songs supposed to make us happy and enjoy the harmony and rhythm. However, we sometimes make everything complicated by hurting ourselves as we associate unwanted memories to a song. Yes, that's it. It's not all about the song but it's all about what we associate to them. We have the chance to remember happy memories but why do we keep on sticking with the sad ones? Personally, there are times that sad memories just flashed voluntarily whenever I heard the song that reminds me of someone. I don't know what's the reason behind but they will just come automatically. There are also times when I really do reminisce forcefully because I want to feel pain once in while.
Well, not all songs are being associated with sad memories. Songs with happy memories still outnumbered the lonely ones. It solely depends on us on how we think about the songs.
They said words are powerful and they are legit right. A word alone can make or break so how much more if they are sang from the heart with the perfect harmony of rhythm and sounds? Can you imagine how dull the words is without songs or music? Oh my, I guess living without them is like living in a lifeless world -- plain and boring. Just imagine if all the noise we hear are from noisy neighbors, vehicles, operating machines or everything that comes from the hustle and bustle of the city. Good for those who live in rural areas like us for vehicles are not as many as those in the urban streets and we can hear the hustling air together with the birds' chirps at least.
Just like today, national election here in our country is just around the corner and some candidates are advertising themselves through songs or even incorporating their platform through songs so the citizens could easily catch up and remember them. For instance, the famous campaign of Manny Villar, who ran for President last 2010. His song campaign reached many that even me and my sisters and other kids memorized the song. You can watch the video below for reference.
https://youtu.be/sS6orAZ6E3I
All I can say is that the writer of this song campaign is brilliant because he incorporated situations that are observed in the country which most of the citizens can relate. Honestly, I thought Manny Villar will win that time but then he was lost to Benigno Aquino III. However, it won't change the fact that he has the most memorable song campaign.
And I'm pretty sure more campaign songs are coming!
Another one is the advertisement of a certain product that we saw on television. We can't deny that incorporating songs in the advertisement or making a song for the advertisement helps in gaining brand popularity. Just like the advertisement below:
https://youtu.be/WEOyI6QtjkE
Familiar, isn't it? I bet you sing it too. Haha!
I have a lot to tell about this topic actually but I guess I will just have one last example because this is getting quite long.
Let me have the drama for the last part. See I still have this song in my playlist though the person who let me listen to this for the first time is now away from me. He told me this is his favorite and he sang this to me in one of our karaoke bondings. The song remains in here but I skipped it whenever it plays. This morning, as I scroll on Facebook, a page that I follow posted the music video of that song together with the lyrics. I want to continue scrolling but then my mind tells me to continue and read the lyrics. And it is just now that I fully understand and appreciate the song. It was kind of being in love and asking for a chance to let the love live between the two person. This song inspires to those who have someone to pursue but for me, it's a heartbreak song for all the memories I had with that ex who let me know this song came back all at once. I almost cried but luckily I manage not to burts into tears because I would look like a fool being overly dramatic knowing that I did not even brushed my teeth. Is this some kind of Sunday mourning? Lol.
If you still have a time you can listen to the song and tell me what you feel about it too.
https://youtu.be/j-XrYQ-Y6HM
Happy Sunday, everyone!
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude!
`Lead image is mine`
Ciao! ❤️
Indirect pain
Another day has passed that I was not able to publish an article. I feel so bad about it and I feel like I have been missing a lot already. I feel unworthy of Rusty's upvotes whenever I am inactive and not doing any interaction among other writers. Although I have my goals to publish everyday, I still can't leave other important matters behind especially when it comes to my well-being (health). I need to rest and cope with the days that I have been sleeping so late. As what they said, I need to recharge and replenish everything I loss. We may be okay to lose everything but not the best state of our health. So to everyone here, I wish you are feeling okay and enjoying the best of life and goodness of health. If you feel like you need a rest, then have it. Remember we cannot have another body that can replace the body we use today. I understand we need to work to sustain our family but we need rest too. We deserve that. Money can be found again but the gift of good health is hard to restore.
This morning, I woke up same as usual. My alarm clock woke me up telling me it's time for me to have my walking exercise which I successfully did. On my way, I saw again the puppy who looks like Tiger.
He was just there at the center of the road making him almost got hit by a motorcycle. Luckily, the puppy saw the motorcycle coming that's why it ran and went to side of the road. I called the puppy but he did not came close to me. I can say that he really wanted to come close but he doesn't recognize me yet which made him to not trust. Well, I can't blame animals for there are people who tried to get their trust then hurt them after because they have another motive. You know what I mean. I don't want to mention pitiful situations that dogs or any animal that are slaughtered.
Anyway, so the puppy didn't come close but he's following me along the way. I wanted to pet him but I just let him follow me and realize that I am his friend. Who knows after many times of encounter he will be able to develop trust and eventually play with. Still hopeful though! This is the life of a furmom. Lol.
After that 25-minute walk, I headed back home and rest for a bit. My boyfriend prepared our breakfast so I was just there sitting ugly while scrolling on Facebook. Minutes later, he called me and we ate our breakfast. He finished his meal quicker than me for my eyes were still glued on my phone. He just let me do my thing and went to where his mom and dad are.
I was about to finish my breakfast when I heard my boyfriend's mom yelling. Well, that did not disturb me since I am so used to it. I know moms talk a lot but my boyfriend's mom is just... never mind. I just continued eating until I heard my boyfriend talked back. I don't want to interfere so I just listened. So they were again having a commotion because her mom would always side his brother. My boyfriend used to let her know about how she favors the second son but then she would just talk about something else and would go one issue over the other. It's fine if she talks normally with a calm tone, but no she didn't and I bet she never will for she likes to talk loud that even neighbors can hear.
I have witnessed many times how my boyfriend and her mom argue and I can really say that her mom doesn't know how to consider my boyfriend's feelings. I just stayed silent pretending like I was not affected but I am.
The last thing I heard from her was that she told my boyfriend to move out of their home. And I was like, my goodness! This is not the kind of atmosphere I want to have soon. I don't want to hear anything so I went inside the room and got myself busy with Facebook.
After a minute, my boyfriend went inside the room too and watched videos from his phone. I was not able to see his face as he went inside so I got no idea why he suddenly grabbed the blanket and covered his face. I thought he's about to sleep but he did not. He cried. His shoulders were going up and down and it's the evidence that he's crying hard. Men seldom cry right? And they don't want to show it to anyone if they do. I feel hurt too as I tried to comfort him. I did not asked what's the reason because I already know. He's been keeping all the hurt inside from the numerous argument with his mom. I just let him be and tried to console him by tapping his back.
I almost cried too lol. I felt the pain indirectly as I hold his hand. From that moment, I realized that I truly love him because I don't want see him again crying. I seldom saw men crying and it's very unusual feeling seeing your man hurt because of his family, of his mom.
This just means that my boyfriend is really open about his feelings to me. He let me see his vulnerable side and I love him more because of that.
This is my first time being overly dramatic over someone. Lol. I don't want to publish this but I can't miss another day again so I'm sorry for being too girly.
Actually, I shared this with you guys to let you know that men get hurt too but they choose not to show it because of the standards we set for them. However, if they are too hurt to bear the emotion, then that's the time they cry. Of course they have feelings, therefore don't call them being gay if you see them at their weakest.
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Images are mine`
Ciao! ❤️
What a noisy world!
There are noise that I want to hear and there are also noise that freaks me out and eventually make me annoyed. The noise that I can bear to hear are the noise from a disco party, the noise when you make a toast out of the shot glasses, music, and drunk friends. Looks like I can't hide my party girl side. But yeah, those noise are bearable. Actually I am used to hearing noise before because our home is just along the highway and we have a karaoke rental at home. I guess everything has changed when I entered the stage of 20's. I'm getting old and matured.
As I write my article, I am not in my best mood because the noise from the neighbors are too loud. They're having a birthday party there and the visitors are singing in the karaoke from the afternoon until now. There are few who sing well but most of them sounds like they got toothache. They somehow let me lose my focus for I laugh whenever they're out of tune like really really out of tune. And if there's someone who sings well, my mind will automatically sing the lyrics. Like now, someone with a good voice is singing "Ordinary Song." This song is one of my favorites so I can't avoid to stop for a while, sing and reminisce memories that will suit to the song's content. I feel like my mind can play a music video if it has a projector. Lol. Whatever, I still find it noisy.
By the way, the neighbor who has his birthday today invited me for dinner just a while ago. I went there because they're karaoke session was paused during the dinner time. I was too hungry and lazy to prepare something to eat so I went there. Haha! I ate some kakanin, pansit, menudo and cake. Their food tastes good and of course I was also able to drink coke, finally. I can't have coke in my boyfriend's house thus, one glass of coke is a joy for me. I guess going there to eat is a wise decision. What do you think?
After eating, the host or the birthday celebrant told me to eat again but I refused since my stomach is bloating already. I went home after a short conversation with them.
Now I am here in my room, lying and hugging my pillows. Still, I can hear the noise coming from the ones singing. What can I do? I should let them be as an exchange for the invitation. Lol.
What a noisy world!
Last night, I was also not in the mood since one of the group chats I am in kept on popping. I have the choice to mute my phone but I can't do it since I am also waiting for an update of my job application. People there in the group chat are restless since some of them already received a call from the Department of Education. Meaning, they're already hired and got a teaching position. I am happy for them but I can't avoid to think of my turn. I mean when can I receive a call? Would I be hired this year? My future has been going on my mind lately but who doesn't? To make myself feel good, I just keep in mind that if it's meant for me, then God will give it to me. If I will not be hired this year, then it's not my time...yet. In this way, my mind will be at peace.
But, it's still a noisy world.
I hate to say this, but as of the moment, my boyfriend is now there at neighbor's house and currently singing in the karaoke. Lol. He's singing the song I picked for him to sing during our first karaoke bonding together. I think that was last December. Time flies so fast that it's almost a year already since we have our first karaoke together. Though there are parts that he's out of tune, still I love to hear it because it's one of my favorite songs -- "Ikay Lamang" by Silent Sanctuary.
Oh, I need to leave it here since my friends are coming over and I need to prepare something for them. Please have your dinner too! Don't mind the noise around, pips!
And one thing, can you also help me support/welcome my sister? She joined read.cash 3 days now. She needs our opinion and suggestions for her to be successful in here just like you guys. Her username is @Lovelyfaith. Thank you very much!
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Lead image is mine`
Ciao! ❤️
Low, lower, lowest
Yesterday was a tiring day for me. I woke up at 6 AM and prepared everything so we can go to the hospital early. Yes, as early as 7 am, we should be there because if we arrive beyond 8 AM, then we need to fall in a long line since the process would be first come, first serve. Meaning, if you go there early, then you will be entertained early as well. There's no phone number for us to contact just to set the time and schedule so there's no choice but to go to the hospital directly. I don't want to fall in line that's why I woke up early even though I really wanted to sleep longer.
For what was the check-up for? Well, it's for me to check what's wrong in my body/system. Lately, I always feel like I'm nauseous and I am not in the mood for anything. I always feel tired although I am just in my room lying all day. I think me being in bed most of the time contributes to the head ache as well. People here asked me why I'm always in the room instead of going out and have a little bonding with sun. I just faked my smile and didn't say a word. I don't want being questioned and I don't want to answer them in a rude way so better be silent.
I also feel dizzy whenever I rose from bed and stand from sitting. That's why I will look for anything to hold to keep my balance and wait for a moment when the dizziness stops. I thought this is just normal when you do stand or rise abruptly so I ignored it for many years.
Another one is that I get tired easily even I am just changing clothes that I would catch my breath after. Oh my! This is not good, right? But I just ignored it too and blame the hot temperature.
Another instance is that my head is aching and my eyes are teary and painful. I guess it's normal too since I spend most of my time facing my phone from morning until late at night. Thus, whenever I feel the pain, I will wear my anti-radiation glasses which somehow relieves it. But wait, is sleeping late at night can be the reason for all of these? I asked myself that question many times because I know sleeping contributes greatly to our well-being. However, I just ignore it again and continue my very late sleeping time. Sometimes I sleep at 11 PM and mostly 12 AM. There are also some days that I sleep at 3 AM and woke up at 6 AM. How unhealthy.
To convince myself that what I am feeling is not okay, I decided to have a check-up. Since we went there early, the line is not that long. I was third in the list. The doctor asked me several questions then checked my blood pressure afterwards. She told me that my bp is 80/66 which is low. Low blood pressure is also known as hypotension. It's considered normal if your blood pressure is 120/80 millimeters of mercury (mm Hg) or less. Blood pressure readings of less than 90/60 mm Hg are considered abnormally low and are referred to as hypotension.
Moreover, those what I feel are symptoms of having low blood pressure. Is it okay to have low blood pressure? In my case, the answer is no since I am experiencing symptoms that affect my health.
What are the possible reasons of having low blood pressure? According to mayoclinic.org, pregnancy, dehydration, heart problems, endocrine problems, blood loss, severe infection, severe allergic reaction, and lack of nutrients in diet. Some study also claimed that lack of sleep contributes to low bp as well. In my case, the cause of my low bp are heart problems, lack of nutrients in diet and lack of sleep. The doctor advised me to rest early at night and eat foods that are rich in iron.
**What are the home remedies that you can do at home?**
Drink more water
Be aware of body positions
Exercise regularly
Eat less carbs
Eat salty foods
These are what the doctor told me but you can search for other remedies on the internet as well.
**So what's the catch?**
Let's value our health more than anything else. Always remember that we work to live. Some will say they live to work and it's up to them. Lol.
**Health is wealth**
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Shout-out to @TengoLoTodo, @Jane and to @meitanteikudo for the sponsorship renewal. I am indeed grateful ❤️
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Lead image is mine`
Ciao! ❤️
Good day, everyone! I just like to thank everyone who read my previous article entitled, "My money, my rules. I hops you don't mind."
I read all of your comments there and I am happy because I can feel the sincerity of you guys being concerned to me. I am sorry for I cannot reply to your comments there. Electricity was out as of this time and I need to sleep early for I have an early check-up tomorrow.
So bear with me. ☺️
Link: https://read.cash/@Marinov/my-money-my-rules-i-hope-you-dont-mind-01d5debc
When I can't sleep, I....
*Do you know what you're going to do just in case you can't fall asleep at night? Do you have that to-do list with you? Well, I do. Not being able to sleep at night especially when the occurrence is frequent can be disturbing.*
It might be because of you, overthinking. Why do we overthink? Let me talk about it generally and it's up to you on how you will apply this generalization in every aspect of your life. Well, we want everything to fall into the right place thus, we think too much of how to get the work done perfectly. We think of the ways even though we know it's not possible just because we are afraid to fail. In other cases, we also worry of the things that are not yet happening. It's not bad to think of future happenings tho but when it keeps on hitting you consistently, you might be experiencing anxiety.
Way back 2017 when I was diagnosed with having an anxiety. The doctor asked me several questions like how's my study, do I go out and open myself to friends, do I exercise and the rest, I forgot. After answering those, the doctor said that I am afraid of the future that's why I am having panic attacks every time I am alone. I did not realized that I already have an anxiety because I just lived normally. I go to school, hang out with friends and do stuffs normal people do. Little did I knew that my education contributed to my anxiety. The doctor said to my grandma that she should not pressure me with my studies. She also said that being with friends is not enough when I am still reserved - meaning, I am with them but I don't open myself up completely to them. I should tell them whenever I got problems. In my case, I don't like telling my problems to others because for I don't want to be weak in their eyes. The doctor also added that I should go out and do some yoga.
After hearing these from the doctor, I realized that she was right and maybe the reason why I can't fall asleep at night was also because of my anxiety. The doctor gave me medicines but I didn't take even one pill because I don't want myself to be dependent on it. I prefer natural healing that's why I find ways to be well or else I will see a psychiatrist.
One effect of having an anxiety is not being able to sleep at night. So what did I do?
**When I can't fall asleep, I...**
**I go to the nearest store and buy flavored beer.** I know drinking alcohols ain't good for anxiety but what can I do? This one bottle of beer lets me fall asleep soundly. One bottle of beer won't hurt eh? So yeah, I buy beer and drink alone. Don't worry this can't get me drunk. This is just a mild drink with lemon flavor. This just tastes like drinking juice for me.
The first sip/gulp feels like nothing. You won't be satisfied with it so you take another sip until you won't notice that you emptied the bottle already. Then after a couple of minutes, drowsiness takes over you.
That's the effect on me. It might perhaps be different with you though.
**I go out with friends and have a drink (sometimes).** When the feeling is too strong and I just can't sleep even though I tried counting sheep lol I will text my friend for me to come or for them come over.
I don't know but having a bottle of drink with them makes me sleepy after. Unlike from the flavored beer, this drink has high alcohol content. I know some of you already tasted this one and have your own memories of 'The Bar Pink'. So how was it? Haha! We usually mix this alcohol with sprite, strawberry flavored juice and some ice. Once it is mixed well and already cold, it's ready to drink and the taste is just like a strawberry juice with no alcohol content.
The first sip is fine but when you'll reach half of the drink, you might say you'll go home to have your sweet dreams.
**I will cook something that's available in the fridge.** Yeah, I know it's weird but I feel sleepy after I eat. This only applies after the dinner because eating dinner won't make me sleep after. It's too early and I can't sleep at 7 PM. So yeah, I cook something, eat then rest and after a while, I will feel sleepy.
What are your thoughts about these? What do you usually do when you can't fall asleep?
Whatever it might be, I hope that it will take you to good sleep. Anxiety is hard and some might say we can just control what to think for it is our brain. No, you can't say that. You don't know unless you are in the situation. If we can, then why would we choose to be sleepless? To overthink and to be afraid of something? No one wants that.
I am wishing you well tonight. Have a good sleep!
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
I invited my sister here and I will ask for your help to welcome her as she starts her journey here. Some of you might saw her already in your articles. Her username is @Lovelyfaith. She's in noise.cash too! ☺️
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Images are mine`
Ciao! ❤️
My money, my rules. I hope you don't mind.
I seldom do online shopping because I am afraid I will be getting another item instead of the ones I ordered. I have seen a lot of reviews and videos complaining about wrong item, quality issue, packaging issue, missing item and even the 'no item inside' the package. I have an online shopping app in my phone but I just browse on it and close after. My boyfriend on the other hand likes online shopping so much. He told me it's way cheaper there than in physical stores. I told him it's just the same because he will be paying for the shipping fee which usually costs $2.00. That amount can be added to the price of the item that can be bought in the physical stores. Plus, when we buy in physical stores, we have all the freedom to examine or to see if there's something broken or something wrong in the product.
However, still I cannot convince him to just buy in the nearest stores here. His reason was always the price difference. Oh well, fine.
This is the reason why I tried to shop online last week. I ordered some shirts and dresses to see if I can get a good quality. Until now, my order hasn't arrived yet since I have to wait for 5 days or a week for it to be shipped completely in here. Yesterday, me and my boyfriend talked about my order status. Unexpectedly, his mom and dad butt in. I wasn't expecting them to meddle since I did not ask them to pay for my order. My boyfriend's mom told me I shouldn't order things if I still have something to use. His dad also added that it's a waste of money. I got annoyed but I still have my respect for them so I just told them that those clothing will be used by me so they wouldn't go to waste. But in my mind, I was mad because even my own family won't meddle with my own business. Although I was mad, I just left them there talking.
It's my money so I will do whatever I want with it and I was hoping they wouldn't mind.
Another annoying part is when I asked my boyfriend to buy me snacks - fries and siomai. His little brother saw him with the snacks that's why his little brother cried for he wants to eat too. I have no problem sharing my food. It's just his mom, not wanting this little kid to eat junk foods so my boyfriend asked permission to his mom if his little bro can eat the snack as well. Surprisingly, his mom got angry and she told us it's better if we bought viand for dinner than the snacks. Oh my! As far as I knew, I am buying my own viand. And one thing, was it my fault that she won't let my boyfriend's brother eat junk food? Does that mean I should not have that kind of snacks here just because of the kid? I know I should adapt to what they're used to in here but I can't really avoid to eat the food I want.
Please excuse me and my feelings. I just want to let this all out or else I will carry this heavy feelings for the entire week or even a month. I just feel like you guys here can understand me and would give me advice if you have time to read what's in here. Wait, I can't even remember what episode is this for I have written articles about this place. I know you're wondering why am I still staying here despite the situation. I should move out and be at peace because that's what I deserve. But, I have this reason why I am still staying and I will let you know about in the right time.
Yes, I'm still not married but it seems like I already felt the feeling of being married and living together with the in-laws. To make it short, I don't like it and I won't ever like it. It's not that I hate them. They just have their own preferences they want me to follow but I am against it. I want to do things my way like I want to cook the way I want without them dictating what to do next.
In short, it's not easy to live, to move freely with the eyes looking at every step you make.
This is just my situation and I know not all who live with in-laws are unhappy. There are still a lot who live well with the in-laws and I am happy for them.
But for me, it's way better to separate to have privacy and build your home your way.
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
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Hello everyone! I will just leave my article and will be back tomorrow to read yours. Something important came up. 🥺
I wish you well today.
How was I before?
How was I before?
What were you like before?
Let's go back to those times when we first met our boyfriends/girlfriends. This cold weather made me reminisce the past and how I used to be.
Being in a relationship, the intimate one, allow us to learn many things in life especially in handling one. We were not the ones we used to be during the first date, first relationship and first love. If we compare the time when we are new into a relationship, there's a great difference in the way we value, the way we see things, the way we decide and even the way we love. From my own experience, I can say that I was noob and dumb during those first moments. I don't know if you did this before but I didn't realize I wasn't ready until I got into the relationship. My curiosity got me and it made me look for someone who I can call 'boyfriend'.
My classmates who were pretty already have their partner and I was quite envy everytime they talked to me about their boyfriends with a wide smile on their faces. Well, I guess it's an advantage when you already have a phone during those times. Way back 2011-2015, not all of my batch mates in highschool have mobile phones unlike today. I even got my first keypad phone when I was third year highschool while the rest of my classmates had during their elementary days.
Before and might as well today, one common way of pursuing someone was through texting or chatting online but during my time, we usually do texting. Knowing that my friends are in a relationship while I am not, it made me feel inferior and out of the trend. I felt like I can't keep up with the talk since I don't have anything to share. I was thinking that maybe it's time for me to try being in love too to get even.
It was year 2011 when I had my first relationship. Of course we knew each other through Facebook and talk more through texting. I admit I was so young before that I didn't know what to do and what to say to make the relationship on going. One time, my boyfriend asked me if we can meet personally which made me lie to my parents because I told them I will be making projects but the truth is I'm not. During the first date, I was really shy and almost went back home but my friend told me I should get going so I will get to know my boyfriend more. And there I went and sat beside him. That boyfriend of mine looks good honestly. He was tall, has pointed nose and fair skin. We talked for a while and he took a photo of us. The next move made me panic. He asked me if he can kiss me which I auto-refused for I have never experienced kissing. I was afraid too. However, he was so persistent and I got scared so I run towards my friend and went home leaving that boyfriend behind.
Another relationship that I have was with Charles which I wrote yesterday. My relationship with Charles was the first one I took seriously and I must say he's my first love as well. I don't know but I still had our memories with me and I feel like he still has this special place in my heart. I even had the chocolate wrappers from the chocolates he gave me. Everything he gave was kept in a box though it's been 7 years since we broke. Charles sometimes message me on Messenger but most of his messages are just left as being 'seen' because I don't want to have trouble with my boyfriend now.
I don't know why but I just notice that if we are single, no one would dare chat us but if we're already taken, oh my messages are popping. Lol. I guess Charles had a bad timing.
Being with Charles back then made me a toxic girlfriend and that's why we broke up. He can't blame me for I was still young that time who doesn't know what are the things that should be done and should not be. When we reached our first year, I became paranoid and clingy for the reason that he will be away for two years for their apprenticeship. I thought that him being away from me would make him cheat. That's why whenever he wasn't able to text me for an hour, I will overthink that maybe he's busy dating someone or maybe he just doesn't want to talk to me. I sent him a lot of messages saying that he was changed and I even told him we should broke up only to found out that he's sleeping. See how toxic I was.
I also asked Mike, his twin brother what is Charles doing even though Charles let me know. Well, I just wanted to know if he's telling the truth. I even blocked some girls on Charles Facebook account too. Oh my! Thinking about all the things I have done before gives me chills.
Fast forward, we broke up because I can't let myself to always overthink while he was away. I told him I don't want to be with someone who's far away from me. He asked me if I was really sure about my decision and I said yes. I still love him though during that time and I know he felt the same but I guess he was tired of my attitude as well so he just agreed. But, he let me promise that I should not have another boyfriend for we will see each other after their apprenticeship and before he sails on in the ship. I just said yes but I failed to do so.
Yikes! I wrote a lot of my dramas. Lol. Sorry for I don't have anything in mind today. I was alone in my room because my boyfriend went to his cousin's birthday. He told me to come with him many times but I refused for I don't want to be around him everywhere he goes. I don't want him to feel that I don't trust him. I don't want him to feel that he lose his freedom being with me. I told him he can party wherever he want as long as he lets me know and as long as he's not hitting other girls. Because if he does, I will not wait for him to say a single a word. I will be gone and will wish him well in life.
I guess I am already matured enough this time. Hmm.
What are your thoughts during these rainy days?
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
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His twin brother got me pregnant?!
My boyfriend has a twin brother and I admit, his twin was my bet. His twin was my crush but I ended up being with the other twin which was my boyfriend. How did it happened? I'll tell you why in a short narration for this may bore you maybe. Please don't judge me.
So how did my boyfriend's twin brother got me pregnant?
I was in highschool when I first met the twins. Let's just call them Charles and Mike. Charles was my boyfriend and Mike is his twin. The two of them are both famous in the campus since they are talented, smart and good-looking. They also came from a well-known family whose background was quite impressive. I knew them and they knew me but we did not get the chance to talk to each other not until I get close to them.
Charles is a bit tall than Mike but Mike has that beach body compared to Charles. Both of them look good anyway but I adore Mike the most. Maybe it's because Mike always has that smile and bright aura whenever I see him. Charles was quite serious and moody but he smiles sometimes too.
In every school program, the twins will present something like singing. They both love singing and their voices are pretty awesome. I can say that many girls are crushing on them back then. Whenever they perform on stage, some of the girls would shout and blush. I feel the same too but I didn't shout. I just blushed whenever it's Mike's turn to sing. I didn't told anyone about my feelings towards Mike because I don't want my classmates to tease me even my bestfriend.
One time in our Art Class, our teacher asked us to draw something that we feel like doing as long as we will color it with secondary colors in the color wheel. I and my bestfriend forgot to bring our Art Materials so we haven't started on time. We consume almost 20 minutes to think of the ways how we can finish the task knowing that we don't have art materials. Meanwhile, my bestfriend borrowed my phone and told me she needs to contact someone. I just gave her my phone and let her do her business. Little did I knew that she sent messages to my Facebook friends that I am looking for art materials as of the moment. And, she used my Facebook account for it! What a naughty girl. She sent them already and that time, unsending messages are not yet accessible. One friend from other section replied and because of that, she successfully borrowed art materials and we were able to finish our work.
It was dinner time when I decided to view my Facebook messages. My eyes almost popped out when I saw Charles name in my chatbox. Oh my! My bestfriend sent him a message as well but he replied late so we haven't read it on time. Charles replied with a like or thumbs up emoji. What a mood! Well, I messaged him that I wasn't the one who chatted him. He replied and said okay. I put my phone down and eat my dinner.
My phone beeped again and I was surprised that it was Charlie again. He asked me what am I doing and so I replied too. I admit I felt good chatting with him since he looked like Mike so I just imagine it's Mike I'm talking with. Days have passed and we are still chatting with each other. One time, he asked me about my love life between an opposite sex and I just told him I don't have one for I look like a monkey so no one would dare pursue me. His reply gave me goosebumps and chills.
His reply was this:
"Cute mo naman para maging unggoy."
"You're too cute to be a monkey."
And there everything started. He courted me for two weeks and then I said yes. Believe it or not, our relationship became the talk in the campus since they can't believe Charles will have a relationship to someone who's younger than him. I look bad during those days too because I don't know how to put lipstick on and powder. So I guess that's also the reason why Charles classmates don't favor me. Well, they did not change Charles mind. Charles even got mad at them for intervening in our relationship.
With Charles, I experienced the feeling of having a relationship between opposite sex which I never experienced in my past relationships. He took me on romantic dates like night swimming, talking by the shore, and walking together after classes. Our relationship went well even though his ex, who was his classmate too kept on pushing herself to Charles.
I forgot my feelings about Mike as I knew Charles everyday. My crush on Mike was gone and it's only Charles who I care about.
Months went by so fast and we are already in the second year of our relationship. Charles let his family know about me. Mike would even tease me too! They invited me many in their house but I refused. I'm still not confident about how I look and I don't want his family to see me not looking good.
There was this night that I got really drunk. I don't even know how to recognize people for I felt so dizzy and can't even manage to walk. I remember it was Charles who carried me and let me sleep in an unfamiliar room. Wait, was it Charles? I don't know. I just slept there and when I woke up, my body aches and I was feeling an unusual feeling. I called Charles who was beside me but to my surprise, it was Mike. It was Mike who I slept with. I asked him what happened and he told me there's something that happened between us last night. He asked for forgiveness but I couldn't say a word. I just slapped him and left.
Months have passed and I noticed that there's something wrong in me. My monthly period did not come for 2 months and Charles didn't know what happened either. He asked me why I was changed and why I can't talk to him straight. I planned not to say things to him because I thought that if I were really pregnant, Charles would not notice if he's the real father or not because Mike looks the same as him.
I just hugged Charles right after he asked me what's going on.
I woke up the next day feeling happy because after I pinched myself many times, I realized that it was all a dream. Me being pregnant because of Mike was just a dream.
I and Charles are also separated for 7 seven years now.
Everything happened for real except the part when there's something happened between Mike and me. I don't know why I dreamed about that. The relationship between me and Charles is real and our relationship lasted for two years. We broke up last October 2014.
Anyway, Charles and Mike are now both successful in life. They are sailing across oceans internationally. Mike has a girlfriend while Charles is still single. Beke nemen diba. Hahaha! Joke lang!
*P.S. Please bear with my poor narration.*
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
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When laziness gone too far
I don't want to write late at night but I always end up writing my articles during the time I hate the most. So why did I ended up this way? I hate to admit it but I sleep most of the time during the day. I have always told myself that I must write early in the morning but then again, I failed to do so. Right after I woke up, I had my walking exercise and eat breakfast when I am done. Minutes after I took my breakfast, my eyes would slowly close even though I am still sitting while letting the food I eat to be digested. I couldn't fight the drowsiness so I accepted the invitation and went back to bed. To my surprise, I already slept for 3 hours and the time was 10:30 AM.
Instead of getting up, I will still spend half an hour in bed scrolling for something on Facebook. Most of the time, I also look for something to screenshot and send it to my Chika Partner. As a result, I will spend another 30 minutes because my chika partner will respond to the screenshot I sent her. Lol. Well, we just talked about our batchmates who seemed to have an easy life and they're bragging about it on social media. I know that's not right but we still talked about it anyway. But nevermind.
After the super talkshow through messenger, I rose from bed and look for something to eat because it's lunch time already. I planned to prepare fast and eat quick too because I will be reading articles and write mine. However, the situation was against me. There's no firewood so meaning, I can't make fire to cook something and when I planned to wash my hands, there's no water inside the water storage. What kind of house is this? I have no other choice but to do something so I can make amends of what's missing.
I fetched water from the traditional water pump and gathered some firewood around. Sometimes, I would sneak some firewood from one of our neighbors here. It's not that I went inside their house. Well, their firewood was just outside because they let it dry by the sun's heat. Thus, I was able to get some maybe 3 pieces of firewood. Lol. I'm sorry neighbor. I will not do it again. Then after, I would be able to cook and have my lunch.
I thought I can finally write after lunch but I was wrong. I will still spend half an hour on Facebook and would promise myself to make an article when I am done with my 30-minute break. When I started writing, I felt sleepy again to the point that I only wrote one paragraph and the title. I slept again for hours and woke up at 4 PM. See I have wasted a lot of time already. Was it because of my laziness or drowsiness? I guess both of them should be blamed.
I know I should do what I am supposed to do for I got all the time but I guess having all the time will make me even lazier. It's because I would always think that I got all the time so why should I hurry? Little did I knew that I am consuming most of my time thinking I have still a lot of time.
Laziness in me has gone too far and I am not liking it. See I promised to myself many times that I should be asleep at 10 PM but here I am, still writing when in fact I can do this during day time. I hope I will be able to overcome this bad habit of delaying things. This has been disturbing my health and productivity.
I hope you're far from being me I mean far from the attitude I had. I wish you all productivity and a happy day.
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
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a year ago
Seeing these archived memories from Facebook makes me realize that I was way better than before in many aspects. Although, this year was a blessing to me, nothing can compare how blessed and happy I was last year. I know I should move on and accept the situation I am in now for I cannot change a thing in the past. I tried. I tried many times to just forget what I am before, who I am with and where I am. They say everything will happen because it was destined to happen but for me, it happened because I let it happen. Sometimes I ask God why I am here living in the situation I planned to not live. It turns out that the things I try to avoid are the things that come first. And now that I can't escape from the situation, I guess my future is in trouble.
**Who am I a year ago?**
Just a College graduate who passed the Licensure Examination for Teachers. I went through a lot just to take the exam. Me and my grandma even had a lot of fights because of financial crisis. The review was not free and it was costly since I chose to be in one of the famous review centers. My grandma would always complain about the fee that's why I told her many times that I won't have the review and won't take the exam as well. I would rather apply for another job that doesn't require license. However, my grandma was so persistent in her desire about me becoming a professional teacher. She kept complaining about the money but would give after anyway.
To pass the LET is not a ticket to land a job in the teaching field that's why I applied for a temporary job while waiting to be deployed. We know the pressure is real when we're already college graduates but don't have a stable job. Even our neighbors are nosy about our success but the truth is that they're just waiting for us to fail so they have something to talk with. I admit the pressure from my family and the people around me made crave for immediate success.
A year ago, I applied in an Online Teaching Company while I was waiting for the Deped's call. I was so sick of hearing comparisons between me and my batchmates who were teaching in private schools and universities as part timers. I don't want to be left behind so I was eager to have a job that time. God is so good that He sent this Online Teaching Platform in our town. My workmate before informed me about the job since it's just newly launched in town thus, applicants are really needed. I applied immediately when she let me know but during the online interview, I was told to go to the center since my internet connection at home was not stable. Unfortunately, after that, I became demotivated because laziness came in and I chose night parties and hang outs than the job.
After three months, I was tired of going to parties and the desire to apply resurfaced. I contacted my friend who invited me to apply and she told me they still need teachers. Even though I was not prepared, I still went through the application process and I found it convenient since everything was done online. God is good to me because I was hired after.
Because I was hired, I chose to move near to my working place. It was so memorable to me since I met new friends and even friendly co-teachers who turned out to be enemies now. I should call them haters but I am not famous so I guess enemies would suit them right. Lol. I am still thankful because they made my journey wonderful. I also became close to @Murakamii.7 and @Joymae , my boardmates and workmates. Even if the memories we shared were a year ago, they're still fresh and I will always choose to go back and be with them in our favorite boarding house. I miss these girls because they're not afraid of breaking the office rules. Lol. And I miss frying eggs and beef loaf in a rice cooker.
A year ago, I also miss how happy and drunk I was during our late night parties. I went out with friends without worrying what time I should go home since I am staying in a boarding house and my parents wouldn't know. I remember I almost got into an emergency during one of our drinking sessions since I was not able to breathe because of too much alcohol intake. Glad that my friends are there to help even though they're drunk too! Lol. Because of them, I am still alive. I was also able to meet new friends and new crushes as well. One of my crushes was not here anymore since he went to Qatar the same date as my birthday so he was not able to attend and was not able to give me a mug as his gift. I also met a man who was really a husband material. He was very caring and would always put me at the top of his priority. He gave everything to me while we were on. He let me experience expensive dates and gave me gifts I never thought I would receive. Until now, even if it was a year ago, I still have all of his gifts with me. In fact, I am still using them. Until now, we haven't talked about the break up and I felt like we need closure. I just want to apologize politely and if possible, personally. We had a lot of happy memories that's why I can't forget him until now. He made me happy and I miss being happy with him.
A year ago, I was living with my family and preparing every meal was not part of my problem. I was just thinking about my friends' next hang out and what should I say as an excuse to my grandparents. I also missed my grandma's barbecues every night and how she would call me when it's time for dinner already. We would all eat together outside as we grill the rest of the barbecues.
The photo above was a memory from a year ago too. I just miss how carefree I was before. I like the way my smile looked like. I felt like I don't have the same smile now as before. Though I have reasons to smile today, I still can't deny the fact that I like me better a year ago.
Oh my! I think this reminiscing has gone way too much. I need to cut it and have my dinner first.
I do hope that you're not like me who's not so happy with what you have today. I wish you joyful days and contentment in life.
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Images are mine`
Ciao! ❤️
No one wants garbage food
When I was young, I didn't have that compassion to other people that I saw searching for something in the dump site. My grandma used to tell me that they're searching for any left-over food inside the trash bins so they can have something to eat. Grandma also added that that's what I will become if I don't go to school. I know this is not the right motivation but I know she just doesn't want me to suffer in life. Thus, she keeps on telling me lessons whenever she sees a situation where we can reflect on.
**Life in Manila**
We were still living in Manila that time and poverty there is more observed than here in the province where we live. There are a lot of squatters area there and the children were not taken care of properly. Some of them doesn't even have slippers and sometimes not wearing clothes. The parents were also playing cards with the cigarettes in hands. Whenever their kids ask them for something, their response will be in a form of shouting and would shoo the kids away. Consequently, the kids will get hungry and would resort to food searching or worse, stealing.
I have witnessed this everyday because these families are just across our home and we often saw their way of life every morning when we were waiting for the school bus.
There was one time when my grandma forgot to lock the gate letting the kids went inside the compound. I saw them playing with our toys that we forgot to bring inside the house. I just let them play it since I want them to enjoy but after they play, they brought the toys with them and even brought our slippers.
Grandma just let them do it because she felt like those kids really need what they stole. I cried that time because what they stole was my favorite pink slippers. My grandma just consoled me by buying my favorite cheese sticks.
But as I age, I felt the urge to help those kids especially when I came home from school and I saw them getting, eating something from the trash bins. I felt guilty too knowing that those kids don't choose the food they eat while I am very picky whenever my grandma let us eat vegetables.
I realized that this should not be the kind of situation they are in. Their parents should work hard to give them clean food on the table. Even though these kids don't complain, I know that they still need the right food on their table.
No one wants garbage food.
**Life in the Province**
When grandma and grandpa decided to go back to the province, I was so excited because finally, I can swim in the ocean everyday and would see my childhood friends as well. Being in the province is much better for me. Although there are still many poor families here, they can't outnumber those who are in Manila. I saw children begging for food and money in here but I didn't saw children looking for food in the garbages.
Should I be glad about it? Still, no. These kids roaming around the street without slippers on should spend their time in school or perhaps doing their modules. Instead of them, begging, their parents should be the one to make a living for them and not them giving money to their parents.
**No one wants garbage food even animals**
My heart has a soft spot for animals that's why I can't avoid to include them here. Even stray dogs, cats and any stray animal don't want garbage food. However, they can do anything about.
**They could not speak.** They cannot express fully what they feel making their feelings unnoticed. Let's have the dogs as example. Even if they don't like the food they're eating everywhere, they don't have choice but to eat it or else they will be hungry for the rest of the day. We are not even sure if they eat at least once a day for they are strays, they don't have homes and family who take care of them. So whenever we see stray dogs, or any animal, please be kind.
Your kindness means everything to them. Give them a pinch of your food any left-over as long as they're still edible. But, if you cannot feed them, then please don't hurt them.
I hope there will be more people who can appreciate our local dogs. #AdoptDon'tShop
**Unlike humans, they can't find a job** that's why strays settle for something they may find along the streets. I always tell this to people I know who are maltreating animals. *If we would be animals and animals would be humans, we also wouldn't like it. I know this is not going to happen but at least we can compare the situation and would reflect from it. We will not like it if we are the ones who's being kicked just because we ask for food. We will not like it if we are not able to speak. We will not like it we are the ones who are sleeping on the cold cemented streets at night.*
We wouldn't like it if we will have garbage food on our table. No one wants it.
That's why we should always be grateful for all the things we enjoy today. We still have homes to sleep with, food to eat, water to drink and clothes to wear while others don't.
Lastly, if I would be lucky enough, I also wish to be rich so I can have my own animal shelters around the world. I hope more people will be compassionate towards stray animals and will find a reason in their hearts to help them. Let's learn to live with them.
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Shout-out to @Bloghound and @ExpertWritter for the sponsorship renewal 🎉 I am honored.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
Ciao! ❤️
T.g.i.S
I am currently writing this as I have my walking every morning which serves as my daily exercise. I woke up at 5 AM but did not get up immediately for I need to sleep a little longer. It's 6 AM when I woke up again so I rose from bed, drank water and went out.
Walking every morning has a lot of benefits to our body. One reason why I walk every morning along the neighborhood's highway is because I want to have a normal blood circulation. I was always at home lying in bed so I really need this one just to keep up atleast. Moreover, I don't want to gain weight too! I know that I am eating a lot these days so I need to do exercise or else I should lessen the amount of my meal which I won't like.
On my way, I came across this puppy who looks like a son of Tiger, the dog which I am talking about in my recent article.
I haven't seen Tiger since yesterday so I was not able to take photos of him. I am a bit worried because he's not around for a day now. I wonder where could he be searching for something to eat. Everyday for him is a battle between him and his hunger.
This puppy in the photo has the fur the same as a Tiger and he has got the eyes that talk. Not literally talking but expressive to be exact. His eyes were like talking to me that he wanted to walk with me so I just let him follow me. I hardly even got a picture of him since he's too active and would walk far from me but everytime I stop to click a photo of him, he's going to stop too. What a cute creature! I'm sure he's going to be one of the reasons why I would pursue my walking exercise.
I also took pictures of the spots which I think looks cool. Believe me, these spots are lovely with the sunshine's ray on it. I just can't really give the best picture since my phone's camera is not clear. So just bare with the photos I uploaded. Thanks!
It took me a lot of pauses just to take these pictures. Look how solemn the road is. I was the only one walking and I think the road is getting smoother as I walk on it every morning.
I was about to reach home with a happy heart. But not anymore when I stepped on dog's poo (Please excuse me). I thought it's just a wet leaf but I was wrong. Because of that, I looked like I got an injury in my left foot which made me uneasy to look at while walking. They say you're lucky if you step on it so I am hoping today's going to be my lucky day. Let's see.
I walked fast as I feel my stomach is rumbling. I need to hurry up before my stomach hurts which will make me unable to go home. There are a lot of times when I feel the left part of my abdomen is aching while I am walking. I believe it's because I didn't eat. Well, I shouldn't eat first for I cannot have my walk early. I don't like to do it at 8 AM onwards because the sun's heat will be unbearable.
I prepared my chocolate-milk drink and grabbed some biscuits. This will serve as my pre-breakfast meal for I will eat another one which includes rice.
This is the start of my Sunday! How about yours? Have your breakfast first before doing the laundry. Lol.
**Thank God it's Sunday!**
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
Special thanks to @Amy05 , @FarmGirl and @Niazi420 for the sponsorship renewal 🎉 I am so blessed to have your trust.
`Images are mine`
Ciao! ❤️
Tiger is a dog
*Tiger is a dog, yet he has those angelic eyes that no furparent can help but stare at.*
I won't be able to show you his photos today since it will be useless to photograph him for my phone's camera is no longer clear. Clicking on one with my phone will not give you the charming visuals of Tiger. I will just borrow someone's phone tomorrow so I can take pictures of him and let those pictures shared with me.
Having 6 dogs and many cats has made me a furparent. I never knew I will become a parent at an early age lol. At first my grandparents are hesitant to have a pet at home especially dogs since they need maintenance and they might bite anyone and if they do, for sure all the expenses will be shouldered by my grandparents. But as time goes by, they then agreed because of my persistence.
My first dog's name was Whitey since her color was all white. She was given by my godparent who's now in heaven. Whitey was still a pup when she was given to us so it's expected that she's noisy when we tied her. The reason of her being tied is because our house is just along the highway and she might cross the street and get hit by vehicles passing by.
During Whitey's 3rd day at home, she was still noisy and kept on barking every night. My grandpa was annoyed of it and so he rose from bed and untied Whitey without us knowing. As a result, Whitey got hit by a vehicle and we found her in the middle of the street right at the front our house. Whitey was with us for only three days and was gone so fast. I got mad and blamed my grandpa for what happened.
Oh my! This has been so long. I guess I have to write another article about my dogs and how they help me love another dogs and other pets. For now, let me write about Tiger. I promise to attach pictures of him tomorrow.
Tiger was one of the dogs that keeps on coming here at the front yard. He has an owner before so he was used to human affection. Unfortunately, he became a stray dog when his owner died. I asked some people here about Tiger and they told me how faithful he was as a pet for he never leave his master's side even during the burial. I can't imagine how painful it was for Tiger.
When his owner was not already there for him, some people attempted to kill Tiger and anticipated to have a yummy meal using his meat. Yes, there are people here in our place actually a lot who eat dog's meat. I haven't seen them in action so I don't have any proof to report them to police.
Having experienced those tragic moment made Tiger left their home. Imagine he almost got killed so it's a dog's instinct to go away to protect himself. This is why Tiger has been sleeping on the streets and sometimes at the front of my boyfriend's house.
I planned to adopt Tiger but then my boyfriend's mom doesn't like him, I mean any kind of pets at home. She sometimes kick tiger away which really pained me. I can't do anything since this is not my home and I can't establish my own rules.
Everytime I see Tiger here, he would always wag his tail and stare at me like asking me to take care of him, to touch him and to pet him. I would sometimes give him food whenever my boyfriend's mom is not around. He's always alert too when I call his name.
Whenever we eat outside, he will just lie there on the cold cemented floor and stare at us while eating. I know he's hungry too for he doesn't have a home that feeds him daily. He just rely on the left-over food if there's any. My furparent heart can't really afford to watch Tiger's eyes that are almost in tears.
But then again, I am not the queen of this house so I can't make Tiger stay with me. I just hope I can find him a new furparent that can take him and give him the love he deserves.
I would be glad to see Tiger just in front of this house because that's where he used to be. But, another but, sorry lol but my boyfriend's mom again would kick tiger away.
*I am sorry, Tiger.*
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Images are from Unsplash.com`
Ciao! ❤️
How swiftly time flies
It's the last day of September and I feel like December is coming already. Well, it's almost December only 2 months left. I can't wait to feel the cold December nights. I have a lot of precious and painful memories on that month and I can't believe it's been a year already. Oh, how swiftly time flies.
Today, I just recall everything that happened within the month. I can say that this month was not a productive as the last month. It's not just about the earnings but also about my activities and achievement in life.
Last week, the department of Education here in our division posted the final list of RQA (Registry of Qualified Applicants). I was there on the list. I searched for my name in there even though the screenshots of the lists were as blurry as my future.
I even asked @Murakamii.7 if she saw my name but just the same as I am, she can't clearly read the names even her own name. I started to panic and I can't sleep knowing that the lists are out and I haven't figured out if I was there or not. I downloaded the lists' screenshot and edited one by one. I adjusted the level of photo sharpness into its maximum making them readable. I zoomed every list and I was so happy that I found my name there. But, it's still not the success for I need to wait for a call prior to the deployment. As of now, I haven't received a call...yet.
Still, I am hopeful because I don't have a choice if I won't be. I pray October will be my month and I will be hired as a Public School Teacher in Junior High School.
On the other hand, this month of September also brought blessings to me. Aside from my earnings here in read.cash, I gained 127 subscribers and got new sponsors too!
How I wish we can see who are our subscribers so I or we can thank them one by one just like our sponsors. I also gained friends here through active interaction. They knew my story by reading my works and they don't judge me after knowingit. They become my support system instead.
I also appreciate everyone who constantly upvotes my article and my sponsors too.
You don't know that those amounts really mean a lot to me. Same appreciation goes to the people who leave comments in my articles. Thank you for sharing me your wisdom. I appreciate you all.
I also sponsored 17 co- writers in here. Though with little amount, I believe this is one way of giving back to the community.
For my earnings, I chose not to show it here since my wallet doesn't have the amount that can make someone inspired. I converted most of my earnings into fiat for we badly need funds for our daily needs. But even if that's the case, I don't have any regret for I write here to earn (of course) and earnings are meant to be spent when needed.
I am not sure how many articles I already published this month but as far as I know, I tried my best to publish an article a day. I hope I can maintain this next month.
So far, I can say that September has been good to me even though there are things that I want to happen that are not yet happening. Maybe I'll wait and see what October has for me.
Oh my, I spent 2 hours in writing this article. I blame my Pringles and the children dancing TikTok in front of the house. Lol.
This was half full when I started writing the article.
Now it's almost empty. Was it because I eat it fast or I just spent too much time writing because I got distracted with Facebook and the kids outside? Hmm.
These are the kids dancing with the TikTok music mash-up. They did this every afternoon.
Uh-oh! My lower abdomen is aching again. I'll just end it here so I can rest.
**Tell me about your September.**
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Images are mine`
Ciao! ❤️
The Dilemma of Preparing Meals Everyday
Being away from my grandma made me realize all the things she's been doing and sacrificing for us. Every day, she was the one who does the household chores, wash the dishes, do the laundry and prepare our meal three times a day. And when the night came, she prepares the things she needs for her barbecue business. I don't know how my grandma did all of that but I can say that she's truly a great grandma. Though she's not perfect and we argue most of the time, I will always choose to lose the battle than to lose her.
One thing that I appreciate the most in her is that how she deliciously made our meal everyday. I never knew that meal planning and preparing could be this hard. Of course, we wouldn't like it if our meal especially if the same viand keeps on appearing on the table everyday. It's not that we are being choosy but I think it's going into being one too lol. I admit, I was so choosy before when I was kid. I don't like to eat anything with vegetables for I prepare something with meat. I would cry whenever my grandma force me to eat vegetables and rice. She even gave me a reward and that is ice cream after I eat my rice with veggies.
Because my grandma made everything she can to let me love vegetables, vegetables became my favorite today.
Oh, before I forgot, my grandma was one of the best cooks in our place. Before when she was not yet on the farm, many would let her cook during fiestas and other celebrations. I can attest to that because she would always bring us whenever she was paid to cook.
She also prepared varied meals for us too. Like during breakfast, she will cook omelette, hotdogs and fried dried fish paired with fried rice. Isn't it a perfect breakfast? And during lunch time, she will cook our favorite Sinigang. For dinner, we will just have barbecues for she's selling barbecues every night.
I won't tell everything I mean all of the meals she prepared for us because it will take much of your time reading.
So yeah, going back to main talk, I am now having a dilemma of preparing meals everyday.
When I woke up, the first thing that comes to my mind is what will I prepare for breakfast? Instead of looking for my phone and stay with social media, I prefer to think about breakfast. Isn't this a sign of maturity? Say yes! I really find it hard to think of breakfast since we are too away from the market. We solely rely to what are the available goods in the nearby stores. Plus, I can't cook anything I want here because my boyfriend's mom and dad will sometimes suggest I shouldn't eat that and those and they don't want to let me cook as well.
As a result, I don't have all freedom to cook what I want unlike when I was at home. That's why sometimes I don't like to cook though cooking is one of my favorite things to do.
I don't have a choice since I need to follow them here so mostly, the breakfast I commonly prepare will be hotdogs, fried eggs, noodles then repeat.
During lunch, I will think again what to prepare. Since they don't want to let me cook, how can I have the food I like to eat? I don't like what they're used to do here which is resorting to buy cooked viands. But, I can't do anything again so I will just buy cooked viand too even if they don't taste good.
Lastly, during dinner, I will cook again what we had for breakfast.
Then the process repeats everyday.
I just realized that preparing meals everyday would be this hard.
Was it really hard or was it just difficult for me because I can't plan freely?
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Shout-out to @Jher0122 Thanks for the blessing! 🎉
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Lead image is from Unsplash.com`
Ciao! ❤️
Oh Tuesday!
Craving for something today?
Same! I feel you.
My mouth has been watering since this morning. This sudden cravings came into me lately. I blame Facebook for this too because it's where I keep on seeing goods and foods. I think I should've stopped visiting Facebook too often. What do you think?
As much as I can, I will really avoid seeing foods I like because I wouldn't hesitate to spend my money over it. It doesn't matter if it's way pricy. What matters most is the satisfaction I get after eating them. I am more into food than buying other things. When I am still working, I treat myself with foods I crave during payday. Sometimes, I will invite friends to eat with me and have some drinks after.
So today, I will just share to you my cravings. First on my list is the crispy lechon especially the lechon skin. If you are not familiar with lechon, you can click this link. https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://nypinay.com/diksyonaryo-filipino-english-dictionary/l/lechon/&ved=2ahUKEwiawsjxmqHzAhVCUfUHHZlEBpEQFnoECAsQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3X8nDsX_VfMNdSDyoQCQ9y
Lechon has been a favorite of Filipinos whenever there is an occasion. Of course, an occasion wouldn't be complete without food and lechon would be the best seller for we like to take a slice of it especially the rib part. Even though there are a lot of food/viand variety on the table, we would always want to have the lechon first in our plates. As for me, I would like to have the lechon skin first because I can't resist the crispiness and the flavors it gives to my taste buds. Of course I won't forget to dip it in my favorite Mang Tomas Sauce.
Second on the list will be seafoods!
I don't know what is this called but I am loving everything inside this bowl. For me, this is a perfect combination of the seafoods I want to taste today. The corn is a plus too! If you know what is this called, you can let me know.
I am glad that I am not allergic to any of these seafoods because if I am, then I will be missing a beautiful part of life.
Third ones will be foods from Jollibee. Who doesn't like Jollibee? Even the oldies still love it.
Jollibee for me is always a favorite. When I was young, I used to cry whenever me and my grandma would pass by it. My grandma that time doesn't have work so she can't let us eat there at Jollibee whenever we like. I promised to myself that when I get a job, I will spoil myself with everything I like to eat.
I am just a bit sad because I can't eat these combos in Jollibee for we don't have that fastfood chain near the town.
I also crave for Tofu. Fried tofu in soy sauce and venigar.
When we were in Manila, this has always been a part of our diet. We can always eat tofu whenever we like because my grandpa was a maker of Taho or soy/beancurd pudding.
When we transferred here in the province, I wasn't able to eat tofu even once. I guess people in here are not fond of eating it or perhaps not familiar with it.
Last will be the chicken feet adobo. I have eaten this already last week. This is perfect when paired with beer. This can be a viand too! I'm sure you'll be asking for extra rice.
I think these are all I crave for today. I pray to God I will be able to eat all of these this week. Lol.
What are your cravings?
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
Ciao! ❤️
Meet Jen
Today, a new friend of mine came in again to ask for the same questions. She was interested in joining read.cash but wasn't able to publish any in her one month of stay here. Well, I can't blame her for she has a family already and she's been through a lot of struggles these days because of her husband. People in here said that her husband was unfaithful and Jen already knew about the numerous infidelities. They have been through a lot of separation and getting back together episodes. Just last week, her husband came home after a week of separation. I thought it's the end of their relationship already but I was wrong.
Jen's husband doesn't seem to care about them. However, she can't let him go because of their kids. For me, even if they have kids, she can still let him go and be free from the toxic relationship. Her kids already witnessed a lot of their fights and letting them experience more might cause trauma.
If I were her, I would really choose to be free and live life with the kids. I know the kids will soon understand the situation and accept it. Jen can also provide for her kids' needs because she's a teacher in one the public schools in here. But, being a teacher doesn't mean her family is financially stable. Before, Jen and her husband invested to have a small business. It was almost a good start for them but not until her husband spent much of their money in drinks and girls. Everything fell apart and the money loss can't be regained. That's the reason of their first separation. Then after few days, they got back together again.
Sad to say, Jen has a new loan again just recently because she bought a motorcycle for her husband when he came home last week after a week of separation for the nth time. Too much love, eh? Wait, is it love?
Jen became interested with read.cash when I let her saw my earnings here. I can see she's up to it by the shine of her eyes. I understand her too because her monthly salary cannot suffice her family needs after several payment deductions. I want to help her because she said she would be happy if she will earn $2.00 a day and so I helped her from creating the account to publishing an article. I told her everything I know about read.cash but then I wasn't able to show the process real-time because we don't have an internet access that time due to power interruption. She just nod at me and would always interrupt to ask how much can I gain everyday and weekly. I explained to her that the earnings here are not stable for they might change depending upon the tips given by other users and by Rusty.
She also kept on saying that she's too shy to publish an article because maybe there's no one who will read it and Rusty will not visit her too. She's to conscious of her grammar and would always say that she's not good in writing. I asked her if she forgot that she's a teacher. Lol. Just so she can gain her confidence back. She kept on comparing different users and their earnings. She also told me that her writing is not the same as mine and that maybe no one will subscribe to her.
I was kinda annoyed because I was uplifting her but she's doubting herself. I told her that there's no need to compare herself to anyone in here because we all have different styles of writing. She can also write anything she wants as long as she conforms to the rules.
Just last month she created an account but haven't posted anything. She went back again to me to ask about the same questions and then leave. I checked her account but there's nothing in it.
And again, today, she came in again. I don't know if it's her 5th or 6th visit, not sure. She told me that she already wrote 2 articles already and she wants me to check them. After that, she asked me how to post photos, to make the text bigger and then to publish. I thought she's really going to publish today finally but her pessimist side made her think she's not good again and so I motivated her again.
I just hope she will be able to follow what I told her and can publish her first article already. I also blocked her here so she will stop comparing her works to mine. I want her to have her own signature.
I hope you can find her here. 😁
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Lead image is from Unsplash.com`
Ciao! ❤️
Nothing's special
Today is just an ordinary day for me. I woke up at 6 AM and decided to have a walk again but the raindrops did not allow me. I was away quite a few steps when the raindrops fell. I don't want to catch flu or fever so I went back and prepared breakfast instead. I just cooked noodles and fried dried fish or what we called *'buwad'.* I prepared my favorite chocolate-milk drink too!
The weather was just fine. Not too hot, not too gloomy. I didn't feel as restless as yesterday. The temperature today was so okay for me. Oh well, maybe because I took a bath today. I took a bath mostly after two days. Yeah, you read it right. When you're not currently working, taking a bath everyday isn't a problem since you can choose to delay it. Only if you want too. But here in my boyfriend's place, they don't have the abundant supply of water in their pipes so they need to fetch water from the water pump. Take note that it's too heavy to pump and the water comes out minimally. This is one of the problems here in their place that the officials should addressed with. Of course! Water is essential.
So yeah, I took a bath today so I feel fine and cool. Oh, I also have here the adobo squid that I wrote yesterday. I wasn't able to take a pic while I am writing my article yesterday so I'm going to attach it here now. It's not so good to see since my phone's camera ain't clear but believe me, it tastes pretty good. The squids shrink because they got overcooked but it's still soft and savory, not the chewy type.
After breakfast, I helped my boyfriend's little brother in his name tag. He's 3 years old but his mom enrolled him already so he got his learning module for the week. Part of the module is to make a name tag. Of course a 3-year old kid can't make one in his own so I helped him for his mom found the directions hard to follow. I can say she's right because the directions weren't clear as to what should be done first. The only reference they can see was the example of a name tag in black and white (yes because the module was just a photocopy). If there's no example, other moms might not be able to follow. So yeah, I already did the name tag. I want to attach a photo in here but I don't know where did they put the name tag.
An hour later, a neighbor let someone get coconuts so I was able to drink fresh coconut juice for free. It's so refreshing. And the meat was too milky and white which is perfect for coconut salad.
As of this time, I plan to go to my grandma's house because she told me she will be making spaghetti which is my all-time favorite. I just hope my boyfriend's little brother won't be awake before we can go or else we will be in trouble again for that kidsl wants to go anywhere. And if he'll go with us, for sure we will be going home too early.
I'll be making it short for now since I need to prepare. I just realized that everything I wrote here was just light. No rants. Just all about my today and I am happy.
Today is just an ordinary day for me. Nothing's special but my heart is at peace.
Tell me about your day, too!
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Lead and final images are edited from Canva`
`All photos are mine`
Ciao! ❤️
Squids are here, finally!
It was just yesterday that I finished watching the series "Squid Game". Though I spent much of my time watching it, I've never regretted a single minute. The movie is very much commendable from it's actors and actresses, the cinematography down to the life lessons we can get from it. So, give it a try!
By the way, about the gunshots that we heard last Friday, they weren't really gunshots. Thank God! The people living there in the area where the loud noises came said that the sounds like gunshots were caused by the bamboo burning. You can check my article about it here. https://read.cash/@Marinov/and-we-panicked-739abb26
**So how about the squids?**
Filipinos love squids especially when it's adobo. When I was still at home, my grandma used to cook squid adobo mostly during mornings. Our house was just few steps away from the shore so we can hear the sound of the fishermen's boats. We rushed to the shore to help them get the fish, squid or anything they caught using their fish nets. In return, the fisherman would give us some of what they caught for free. Ugh, how I missed those days. But what I am missing more is the squid adobo. https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.dictionary.com/browse/adobo&ved=2ahUKEwj2uZ3am5nzAhVW-mEKHbwfArIQFnoECB8QBQ&usg=AOvVaw0kLgmDN75MBPXMOquRDfcR https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.yummy.ph/recipe/adobong-pusit-recipe&ved=2ahUKEwi-qsqsn5nzAhWTZt4KHR0zBygQrbMEegQIAxAH&usg=AOvVaw1WEhkWG87dXFzGS0FGloK8&cshid=1632542718486
My boyfriend's place is far from the shore so I seldom see the beautiful, azure ocean. Squids are seldom sold in here too! There are fish vendors but they seldom brought squid with them unlike in our place. I don't know what got into my system but I really crave for squid adobo a week from now.
I texted everyone I knew if there are squids sold in their place but there's none. I even posted on Facebook, searching for squids. Crazy! Lol.
*Look how tempting it is! Do you also have this kind of recipe in your country? What's the famous squid dish you got there?*
I was just here waiting for the squids to come and I think I waited for more than a week already. I just kept on posting pics of adobo on my Facebook stories to let my friends know that they are obliged to message me whenever there are squids being sold in their town. Kidding! But I really told them to let me know.
**Squids are here, finally!**
This morning, I was just there in the balcony eating my favorite cinnamon bread while having a group conversation with my friends. I was about to eat another bread when I heard a fish vendor coming. I asked him what he's selling and fortunately he said,
**"Nukos mam!"**
Nukos means squid.
I immediately grabbed money and bought one kilo. One kilo costs $3.00. I was too happy that I forgot to take pictures of the squids before they are cooked. As of now, my boyfriend is cooking them and I can't wait to have our lunch and finally eat squid adobo. He's still cooking so I can't post a photo in here since he doesn't want to get disturbed while cooking. (Will post pictures tomorrow)
So I am just here in the balcony again waiting. By the way, our neighbor who just gave birth to a baby boy last Friday was here already. I am excited to visit her and see her baby too!
What do you do?
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Shout out to miss @LykeLyca , @Murakamii.7 and my friend @JustMyRambles01 Thank you, guys. ❤️ God bless you more.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Lead image is from Unsplash.com`
Ciao! ❤️
and we panicked
I feel bad for not being active here for two days, I guess. Yesterday I was tired so I just wrote an article then left. I was just on Facebook scrolling for something until I came across different memes about the famous Korean Netflix series which is "Squid Game". It was a series about games in which the players need to win to have the money prize worth billions of won. However, if the players lose, they will be eliminated in the game. To be eliminated means death.
I was not really interested with the movie at first because I am not into movies but the memes all over Facebook awaken my curiousness. As a result I planned to watch or shall I say binge-watch it so I will get over it.
I found links of the series on Facebook so I clicked on them and started watching. I checked the time first so I can estimate how much time I'd spend for it. It was 10 AM when I decided to start watching. By the way, the "Squid Game" series has 9 episodes so I need to binge-watch all of them to ease my curious mind.
The episode one was already a thrill. The game that the players went through is just a game for the kids. Simple but it's deadly. I will not say more about it because I want you to discover on your own. I don't want to be a spoiler. I just continued watching the series that I forgot what time is it. I almost forgot my lunch too! I was so hooked with the movie that I even watched it while I was eating.
I checked the time, but it was still 1 PM so I decided to carry on. I guess I was already in episode 4. The thrill of the movie continued rising. There's not a single episode that my heart ain't thumping. Guys, if you disgust the sight of blood or death, then don't watch it.
I just finished watching episode 6 at 3 PM. I went outside the room to get some snacks but I was shocked of what I saw. I noticed the people in the neighborhood panicking. It seems like they are afraid of something. My boyfriend's auntie came to the house and told us they heard series of gun shots just nearby the place because the sounds of the gun shots were loud. Of course I panicked too because who wouldn't? The people around here thought that it was an encounter between the soldiers and new people's army (communist party which they said to go against the government).
The people were thinking about it because last month, there were soldiers who died because of the encounter between the new people's army. So their expectation of those guns shots was about it too. There were also rumors that some of the npa's are found in the neighboring barangays in here.
The loud gunshots continued to sound in the area but we aren't 100% sure what could it be since we can't go near the place of occurrence. All of us went inside our homes and locked everything. The kids who were playing around got scared and so I was.
Glad that it was now over and the people here tried to gather information as to what it was.
The squid game got my heart pounding but those gunshots freak me out! I just hope that it was nothing or else I will really move out of this place. Lol.
(Sorry for the poor narration. I am still nervous as of now.)
Tell me about your day.
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Shout out to madam @Eylz2021! Thank you, sis. ❤️
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Lead image is from Unsplash.com`
Ciao! ❤️
Never mind
It's not my problem but why am I affected? Why do I feel like I am involved in the situation? And that I am involved in the conflict? Am I just too assuming to think that I am part of everything or is it because my instincts are right?
Do you also feel that sometimes when someone we know is in trouble and we feel like we are too just because we have that connection?
Being away from home is very hard. You will not feel the comfort of your home regardless of how happy you are. Maybe you'll get used to the place you live but you will always long for the ambiance of your own home, of your family. But because you need to hustle hard for your family and for your own, you need to be away from them to build the dream. Little by little as you slowly build the dream, you are also breaking yourself softly.
I don't know what to write honestly. There are a lot of things occupying my mind for they aren't going anywhere regardless of how much I shoo them away. This is where my anxiety starts. When everything is piled up one over the other making my head heavy. I felt like my head is on the ground as I walk.
This morning, the feeling of discomfort arise. The people I am living with seem to have no peace. They always talk in an angry tone and loud voice. I know I should let them be because that's what they're used to but it's not what I'm used to which made me feel uncomfortable. I don't know but talking peacefully is seldom done in here.
My boyfriend and his brother are always fighting over motorbike. My boyfriend spent with the maintenance and repair of the motorbike but his brother did not. That's why when his brother would ask for the motorbike's key, my boyfriend would refuse making his brother angry. I understand my boyfriend because it's our money he spent over with the repair and now that the motorbike is of use, his brother wants to use it again.
This younger brother talks like a woman. I don't know but he got an attitude like a woman. He talks back to their mom with much to say non-stop. He does this to his older brother too and I can't do something about his attitude because I have no right to correct him.
The younger brother keeps on talking rudely and would always slam the door (they do it here always). Hearing their doors slam so loud is their home's nature. It seems like they're not in the mood all the time. I got used to it though. I should adapt everything here because I am the one living with them.
I just bear everything I hear and see but it's not all the time I am fine with those. There was a day when my boyfriend's mom and his younger brother talked about him. My boyfriend used the motorbike and his younger brother went to their mom to let her know that he will use it too. Their mom is always in favor of that younger brother so she got angry why my boyfriend used the motorbike. She said something unwanted towards him knowing that I was there listening. I was about to meddle with them but I think it's not my character interfere.
I felt so uneasy upon hearing them because I and my boyfriend have a connection. I felt like I am part of the problem. Never mind. I guess I was just overthinking. Again.
As I am writing this, the mom was again angry because of the ice cream seller. The ice cream seller was just selling but she got angry and told the man/seller that he should not sell ice cream during time of lunch. What???
Whatever. I am planning to move out anyway. These are charged to my experience that living with your boyfriend together with his family is not good all the time.
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Images are from Unsplash.com`
Ciao! ❤️
What's on your mind?
This line welcomes me whenever I visit Facebook. It's in the section where you want to post something, anything. I am not sure what am I going to respond about this because there are actually a lot that's going on my mind. I've been thinking about my future, my career, my family and myself. They are renting all the spaces in my brain these days. I am the landlady but I can't make them go away even they give me nothing but stress.
As I write this article, I am really struggling what word to type next. I am too occupied with thoughts. A lot of them that I don't know what to choose. How funny when you have plenty but can't choose any?
Hmm, well, I think I should start with something that I love. FOOD.
This morning, I woke up early and had a quick walk around the neighborhood just to say that I do exercise. I brought my phone with me since it's too boring if I will just walk with nothing to carry or nothing to look at whenever there's an unpleasant situation. While walking, I scrolled on Facebook and saw one of my favorite snacks. It's Crinkles! How can I unlove them?
This has been my favorite ever since I was a child. When we were still living in Manila, my grandma used to buy us crinkles every morning and would allow us to include it in our snack/lunch box. I don't know but this snack is always a favorite.
There are a lot of bakeries selling crinkles here in town but they don't give me the satisfaction I got from that bakery in Manila. Maybe because it's cheaper in here. It's fine though. Better than nothing. But, I will always look for the fluffiness and softness of the crinkles I used to eat before. Not the hard and chewy ones.
Anyway, it did not rain today. Aweee! I am very sad because the rain is the only visitor I want to see. It's so hot again today that's why I was not able to sleep soundly. I kept on changing positions which I think I am comfortable but still, it didn't led me to sleep. That's why I decided to read articles and just write anything though I am not in my best mood.
My friend, @Murakamii.7 and I are also chatting about everything we can think of.
I chat her almost everyday because I am bored and I need her to give me updates about our applications just in case I miss an update. She's the one I would always ask because she's updated with everything. Lol! I miss our late night talks in the boarding house and her sleep talks as well. I wish my problem would be over as soon as possible so I can go to work again and see my previous board mates and eat together with them with our favorite appetizer, *ujap*. 😂
I was also thinking about moving to another place because I want to breath freely like no one's watching me. Being here in my boyfriend's place together with his family is good but not comfortable. They don't allow me to wash the dishes when I am used to it at home. Me not doing it gives me the feeling of uneasiness. I don't know but my instinct is telling me they feel disappointed about me because I didn't wash the plates. I am also too shy to go to the kitchen even when I am hungry. And when I buy something, I felt like I need to buy something for them too but I am hesitant to buy again because one time I bought something for them but they didn't eat it. Not a single bite.
I am not so sure about this though but I really need to decide for my welfare. What can you advice?
Lemme hear what's on your mind!
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Lead and final image are edited from Canva.`
Ciao!
Stay a little bit longer
Yesterday, it rained but not very hard. I was not happy because I am expecting it to pour heavily. It seldom rain here I don't know why. Every day is a blazing fire and I feel like I am a potato in the microwave suffering from heat. That's why I do have a mountain of laundry when weekend comes for I always change clothes every 3 hours.
My mood is not good too during those days when the temperature is high. I don't want to talk to anyone and I don't want someone to get close to me for they can add to the heat. I feel so restless and sleepy all the time that I want to drink cold beverages but then the people in here are not fond of drinking them. Whenever they saw me having cold drinks, they wouldn't like it. I know it's for my own good but there are really times that I need something cold to cool my mind.
In this place, I am always asking for rain. I want rain for so many reasons.
I want the place to be cold so I can feel ease within my mind and body. I want to hear the sound of the rain so that I can't hear the couple arguing again. I want the rain to come so I can play my favorite songs while I'm lying in bed covered with the sheets. Lastly, I want it to rain so that the surroundings will be calm and the people in here will never go hype as they were during sunny days.
Glad it rained yesterday. I went outside to see it pour and bless the plants with every drop. I can feel the plants miss the rain as well. Some flowers even bloom as the rain approaches them.
The dry lands are watered too! The cracks in them were filled with the rain. The dirty streets were cleaned and dusts are eroded.
I also saw children running around enjoying the rain as they get soak with it. Some dogs too joined in with the children. They were also enjoying the refreshing rain. How lovely! But after an hour, the rain gradually stopped and the sky went clear again. I did not even get the chance to lay in bed and sleep. I prayed to God for the rain to stay a little bit longer but it didn't.
That's why during noon time, I feel restless again.
This morning, I prepare myself so I can have a walk at 6 AM. I am on my way there when the raindrops came so I decided to go back. Minutes later, it's raining already and I'm at my happiest. I quickly made my favorite chocolate milk drink and stayed in the balcony. I can feel the cold breeze like it's December.
And I am delighted to share that the rain stayed up to this time.
What are your thoughts about rain? What kind of feeling does it give you?
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`Photo taken from Unsplash.com`
Ciao! ❤️
not my bet
Seriously? A couple arguing at 3 AM? And what would the reason be? Did they just woke up and figured out they need to fight about something? Yes, it's normal for couples to argue but the time of occurrence was just too disturbing.
Last night, I heard our neighbors again argue about something. I mean the couple. This couple always argue everyday. They used to shout at each other early in the morning. I am not interested as to what could be the commotion about but their voices can be heard clearly for their house is just a meter away. As much as I want not to hear everything, their shouts intensify making every word audible.
Mostly, the couple fought about their debt. The wife complains because there are a lot collectors coming in to their house looking for her husband. When she asks the reason why, the collectors reveal that her husband owes them a certain amount money without her knowing. Of course the becomes a tiger upon knowing. Again, I am not into their lives. I just can hear what they're up to because they don't know how to talk peacefully. I guess everybody in the neighborhood knows about them.
When the husband returns, the wife immediately confronts him in a rude way. Her tone of voice is war-seeking and so does the husband. The husband comes from work tired so the wife's nagging gets into him. The wife blabbers non-stop with a loud voice. The husband just didn't say anything but after a while, he gets angry too and told the wife to shut up because she's not the one paying the debt. He assures the wife that he will take care of the debt. And then the conflict stops.
Glad they're now okay so I can have my peace of mind to write an article. But I am too lazy to do it so I sleep for an hour. In the middle of my sleep, that was 5 in the afternoon, the couple's are disturbing the neighborhood again. Geezzz! What is it about again this time?
Well, it's all about money. The wife accused the husband for having an affair that's why his salary is not enough for the family. She said that maybe he spent the earnings to his affair. The husband talks back and denied everything. If I were the wife, I will get mad as well because the husband is not even giving the wife a budget for viand. He thinks that having that sack of rice is enough. Haven't he thought that he got three kids and these kids won't eat without a viand? And he also knows that his wife doesn't have a job so where can she find funds to buy everyday's viand? If you were the wife, what would you do?
I hate the wife for being a nagger but I understand her side too. Knowing that his husband has debts because of liquors but can't even give budget for food would also bring out the lioness in me.
Of course this is not just all about them. I have my realizations based from their experience. I just noticed that there's no peace in their family. Even their youngest kid already knows how to cuss because he hears it from his parents. I also realized that they are into spending more on material things that's why they don't have budget for food anymore. So sad that they can't eat those things.
That's why it's necessary for us women, to have a sideline if we are housewives so we can have money of our own. If our husband won't give us then it's fine because we have our own. Let's not be dependent.
Well, not all because not all housewives are broke. Congratulations to those who are happily married. ☺️
I also realized that before marrying someone, make sure to spend enough time with that someone so you'll know everything about his/her characters. We can't return them to their parents if we're married already. Perhaps we can but it will be tough knowing that Philippines doesn't have divorce.
Take your time!
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`All photos are from Unsplash.com`
Ciao! ❤️
Bestfriends became bestfriends again
So we're bestfriends but became bestfriends again. Why and how? Well, it all started when we were kids. The lady behind me is Jai. She was my playmate when I was still 3 years old and she was of my age too. We were neighbors back then so we always played together in their house. Jai's parents are both teachers and they're strict that time for they won't allow Jai to go out and play with us. As a result, I will be the one to go in their house. Everyday, me and Jai would play with our barbie dolls and make dresses for them out of cut-out papers. We also had foodtrips back then and we will always have indian mangoes and bananas.
A day will cry if we will not play together. Meaning, I was always at their home. Sometimes, when we are bored playing with our dolls, we would watch movies. Her dad would put the CD of our choice to the CD player since smart TV's are not invented that time. We used to watch the Lion King, Tarzan, Barbie movies, Spirit Pocahontas and many more. I just forgot the titles. When noon time came, my grandma will call us (me and my sister) to eat our lunch. Yes, my sister was with me as well. When we are done with our lunch, we went back to Jai's house only to find out it's closed. Jai's parents let her sleep during afternoons so we would go home too and sleep.
Jai used to give me dresses as well so I have something to wear during parties like birthdays. Actually we have pictures when we're young but I don't have a softcopy. It's in their photo album.
Our friendship ended when my grandma decided to live in Manila. She brought us with her since she's the one taking care of us. We stayed in Manila for 5 years or more and came back when I was in Grade 3. When I came back, Jai has friends already and I can't keep up with them since they're studying in private school while I was in public. In short, Jai and me didn't get the chance to talk or even play again. We seldom see each other as well because she's in private school and I was in public.
Years passed and I was in first year high school that time and she was too. Since her mom and dad are both teachers in public school, she studied in the school where her parents are. I studied in the same high school too since the school is just across our home. Because of that, our paths crossed again because we were classmates. I thought our friendship will be back again but I was wrong. She became one of my enemies in high school for she thought of me as her opponent. She always wanted to be the top one in class so she made sure I will not get even. She was changed and everything for her was competition. Well, I don't want to be the top one in class. I don't even study during those years that's why I am always at the top 3. Lol. I was more on partying and drinking that time.
Jai became so vigilant of my own business. Whenever I skipped classes, she would tell the teacher that I cut classes so instead of putting a mark of 'absent', our teacher would instead mark it as 'cutting'. She also told her mom who was our adviser that time that I and my friends got drunk the other night. Who cares? Classes are over and it's already night and take note, we didn't drink around the school's premises. But still, Jai's mom got angry because she told us we were bad influence to others. I talked back because she was foul already. I told her that we didn't drink inside the school and the school hours were over so it's not the responsibility of the school nor the teachers to monitor us.
There was also one time when Jai accused me of cheating. She said she caught me looking at my notes when I took the exam. Was it my fault if I finish the exam quickly compared to her? I don't know but during those 4 years of being in high school, Jai and me are not in good terms.
But not until I graduated college. How about Jai? Well, she didn't finish her studies because of depression. Until now, she has not finished college. I graduated college last 2019 but she did not. When I heard about her having depression, I questioned myself why because she has everything. She is smart and she will get everything she wants since her mom and dad are both professionals.
I don't want to think about her that time because we're not friends anymore so I didn't mind.
Though I and Jai are not in good terms, still we have common friends. These common friends of ours helped us regain our friendship.
It was the start of the lockdown when I and Jai saw each other again. She was with us because her friends who are my friends as well invited her in one of our drinking sessions. During that time, Jai was shy at first and would not talk to me nor meet my eyes. She also didn't not drink that time.
I told my friends that maybe we can help Jai to overcome her depression. Because of that, I advised them to bring Jai everytime we hang-out. During those times we saw each other, we rebuild our friendship without us knowing. Jai started talking to me and we will just laugh about our high school memories. She told me that she lost beautiful memories during those time just because she didn't hang out with us.
After several meet-ups, we became bestfriends again. Jai now learned how to drink alcohol and party. But, she did not regret it. Being with us, helped her cope with her depression because we became her support system. We always encourage her and we are there for her. She also gained her confidence in many ways. She embraced the body that she has and now she met a man of her life because of us too. (may magandang epekto rin pala yung saan-saan gumagala haha)
Now, she will be having an online business which I am in full support with.
Bestfriends became bestfriends again!
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
`All photos are mine.`
Ciao! ❤️
Relax, it's just a color!
It is our nature to associate colors to someone, or to something. I don't know where did we get this idea that it became a part of our culture and beliefs. When I was young, I also believed that colors really do have meanings when they are associated with something. For example the color, black. Black means death or sadness so you should not wear black during weddings. Another one is red. Red is for Valentine's or Christmas. And then we have purple. Purple is for the dead as well.
These are some of the color associations that some of us are still practicing. Well, there's nothing wrong if we follow them, right? For these are what we used to do since then.
I remember one of my teachers scold us because we all wore red t-shirt during that Valentine's day. I don't why she's so bitter that time and got really mad. She asked us if is it really necessary for us to wear red during Valentine's? We just faced the floor and did not say a word. She wasn't done with her anger yet so she told us to go to the plaza and clean the whole area. She's so cruel, right? And until now, we still don't why she got so angry that time.
There was also a day when my grandma told me why I am wearing all-white dress. She asked me if I am attending someone's burial. And I was like, what?
These color associations are just fine with me but not until cats are involved.
I guess we are all familiar with the belief that black cats are bad luck and they are sometimes ghost or not like us creatures disguising like a cat. That's why some people killed black cats whenever it enters their home. Some would also shoo them away. I really felt bad for them. How can a color affect their life greatly? Are they deprived of having a home just because they are born with black fur? Forgive me but I think this belief sucks and should be stopped.
This Tuesday, there was a black kitten in our front door. It was raining and the poor little one was soaking wet. I can feel it meows because she (I think the kitten is a female) wanted to get inside. I was about to get her but my boyfriend's mom got angry. She said I shouldn't touch it because it might be a spirit of someone or perhaps a bad luck. My heart really aches for that cat and her every meow pinches my heart. God knows how much I love cats and how long I have been searching for a black cat because I want to bring it at home.
I just followed my boyfriend's mom because I don't want her to think that I'm disobeying her. The kitten was just outside shivering. She went beside the road and I was really hoping she wouldn't cross the street. I hope someone will take her because I can't fullfil my responsibility being a furmom for I wasn't in my own home.
Luckily in the afternoon, there's a woman looking for a black kitten. The black kitten was not there beside the road so we searched for her and I am so happy we found her. The owner said that the kitten fell off from the motorcycle while they are on their way home. What a poor little one.
Sorry for this non-sense article today. Lol. I really become too emotional when it comes to animals.
I just hope the beliefs about black cats will be gone. I believe our generation now thinks differently than the previous ones. Let's widen our understanding about things and as much as possible, let's not base our principles in life to something unreasonable.
Thank you so much guys for reading! You've been so kind to me since day one.
I also want to thank everyone for reading my work everyday. 💚
Thank you so much again for your time! To my generous sponsors, upvoters and to those who comment, I am sending you my warmest gratitude! Let's talk and get to know each other well.
Ciao! ❤️
@Marinov
