Thank you, Lord

I think it's almost a month since my anxiety came and hit me hard just last week. Woah! I battle my anxiety and I won because I am still alive. Though my anxiety kicks in every single day, it's a blessing that I am still here too. To be honest, I thought it's going to be the end of my life that I planned to tell my family that I am about to pass away. Isn't it crazy? Lol. I don't know why I develop this fear of death. Hmm, maybe it's part of postpartum depression. Whatever it is, I pray to God that all my worries will go away and I would go back to the old me. I miss having a peaceful mind. 🥺

I am really sorry if I wasn't able to read your articles. I am now on the process of healing - physically and mentally. I even uninstalled my Facebook app because it's one of the reasons why I am anxious. These past few days, I lose my focus that I can't even concentrate when someone is taking to me. All I am thinking of is to monitor my breathing which is not good. As I monitor my breathing, my heart are also fleeting fast. Consequently, it worsen the situation so please, don't do it. If ever you had a hard time breathing, just drink a glass of water, sit down and relax.

Now, I can say that I much better, I mean I feel better. I'm not totally fine because there are times that my panic attacks kick in but I just remained calm and do other thing like talking to the people here, cuddling with my daughter or just sleep. In these ways, I forgot about my anxiety and the palpitations go away. I thank God for it.

I am also done with my antibiotics. I plan to go back to the doctor to have another urinalysis so my mind would be at ease knowing that I don't have Urinary Tract Infection anymore. Even though the doctor told me it's fine not to visit again if I feel better, I will still go back for my mind to be at peace. Lol. I don't want to overthink again whenever I feel something in my body.

Today, I think we are going to be busy because it's my baby christening tomorrow. Hurray! I was really excited for this. I hope my anxiety won't steal any moment today so I will do everything that I planned to do. I will share to you some pictures tomorrow. I am also excited to see my baby's future godparents.

This all wouldn't be possible if without God. He gave me another chance at life like everyday. Whenever I think about I'm going to die, He gave me strength to overcome those panic attacks and let me sleep at night. Now that I am still alive despite the struggle to think clearly, I would make it sure that I use every minute of my life to heal because no one can help me but myself. They might say it's easy. They can say I'm just acting up and they might say it's easy not to think of the things I worry about. I don't care what they think. I'm only here for the people who understand me and I live for the people who care for me.

So yeah, gonna end this now. I need to rest and have enough sleep. Friends, pray for my mental healing. It would be a great help!

Thank you for being with me.

Gonna catch up when things are stable.

Happy Friday and take good care of your mental health.

Thank you fam for supporting me. I may not be able to respond immediately but I promise I'll make it up when I have the time. Thanks to my sponsors and to those people who upvote my posts. You guys are big.

Ciao! ❤️