Coping with anxiety

I came across several Facebook posts about anxiety and depression. As much as I can, I tried to avoid those because I don't want to trigger mine, I mean my anxiety. I want to forget everything that has happened when my anxiety hit me badly but I could not help myself. I can't ignore those posts because I feel like I can give help to those people who's suffering from anxiety and depression for I have been there. I want to share the things I have done so that they will feel better too and eventually heal.

The photo above is one of the Facebook posts I saw. As you can see, the girl finds it hard to breathe. If we are not educated enough about what anxiety and depression are, we might say that the girl is just acting up just like what some people used to say.

I was in the same situation before I think 4 years ago. In fact, I was also rushed to the hospital but the doctor told me my body was okay. There's nothing wrong with me after they saw the lab results. I went to another doctor because my breathing difficulty worsen that I wasn't able to walk, move my arms and open my mouth. I told everything to the second doctor and that's only when I found out that I'm having an anxiety - fear of the future. She asked me more questions which made me realized that I am afraid that my time is running short or that I don't have enough time to accomplish everything I need to do. In short, I am afraid to die for I haven't accomplished anything yet. I don't know but I really want to get all things done at once.

I also don't know where the thought of "me going to die" came from. Little did I knew that this put me a lot of pressure and anxiety. Moreover, the doctor advised me to go to a psychiatrist if I couldn't handle myself anymore. She also added that I should help myself or else I'll experience nervous breakdown. I was afraid after hearing those words especially when the doctor gave me medicine just in case the episode comes back.

It took me half a year to recover because I didn't took those meds for I want self-healing. I don't want to be dependent to those meds. I know I am the only one who can help myself most and so I did. Thank God, I was with over it but not completely. Sometimes, I woke up catching my breath and sometimes I found it hard to breathe even if I am doing nothing. I am just grateful that I learned how to cope with those difficult moments.

Sorry for talking a lot here. Haha! Bitaw advise sa doctor kay ug naa kay problems, e share jod na nimo and don't cage yourself in the four corners of your room so mao to sige na kog laag 🧛‍♀️ I met a lot of people, I gained friends and lose some at the same time.

Instead of being at home after my class (when I was still a student) and being at our boarding house after my shift, I would go out and be with friends. Little by little, I gained confidence and I wasn't aware that my panic attacks like difficulty in breathing, palpitations, numbness, and being unable to move any time of the day were slowly going away. I just noticed that when I am alone at home, I don't feel the uneasiness I used to feel. I don't feel like I'm catching my breath. In short, everything came back to normal after six month of being admitted to the hospital.

One big factor that helped me too is the support of my family. They were always there for me especially my grandma. I saw her efforts borrowing money from the people she knew so that we can pay the hospital bills. They uplift me whenever they saw me sad or restless.

Above all, it's Almighty's help that kept me going. I talked to him everytime I feel like my anxiety is acting up again. I'm so desperate to be healed because I don't want to be crazy. Nothing's wrong with me physically but my mind is telling me there is. I know some will say I can control what I think for it's my brain but no, I can't. I don't know why too. Surprisingly, during one of my episodes, I was able to control myself. I was able to control my thoughts that I am okay and I will be okay then after a couple of minutes, the panic attacks will be gone.

There are some times when my panic attacks hit me again but I thank God he didn't let me battle with it alone. I just think again that there's nothing wrong with me and God won't let me die this early. Lol.

To my friends here, please be well all the time and be with the circle of people who give you peace of mind because that's what you deserve. Our mental health should be on top of our priority.

Thank you fam for supporting me. I may not be able to respond immediately but I promise I'll make it up when I have the time. Thanks to my sponsors and to those people who upvote my posts. You guys are big help

Ciao! ❤️