When I think about my mother, these are the images that come to mind. I see her leaning into her favorite chair in a small store she is keeping. I see her stirring green beans in a pot, then opening the fridge to check again for a possible dish to cook for the next meal. I see her outside her store holding a native fan (abaniko in our language) while talking with her bestfriend who often times dropped by. I see her arguing with my dad while he constantly selects what to watch on the television. In other words, she is just there, perhaps unappreciated sometimes.
I'm trying to write an article that examines the mentality of the women who stayed home and raised five handful of children in the 1990's. I want to know if they were happier than those of today who can barely heft a datebook or journal we need to run our frazzled lives. So I ask my mother to tell me about her experiences as a young woman.
"I want to know what you wore, what you did for fun, what you talked about," I tell her. "And I want to know how you felt, how you viewed your relationships with dad and us, your children, how you viewed the future."
She sends me a smile and started, "Well, here goes."
THE TRENDS...
Then she tells me that when she was younger, she loves to follow fashion trends. She would wear those bell-bottom pants and jeans. She mentioned how she save frantically to buy those pleated skirts she can see on the magazines.
HER WORK...
She worked at a municipal health center as a midwife in Bukidnon, which she hated. When they carry out vaccination outposts in barangay health centers, they would walk a couple or more kilometers on muddy terrains. Salary was meager that time and work was a ton load. She quit her job when she met my dad and ventured out, both as entrepreneurs, which she loved.
THE LOVE STORY...
She tells me how she met my father in Bukidnon as school teacher. And, she would cheer for him on his basketball match with some friends. She talks about how hardworking my dad was, and how things were saved for, then bought and eventually appreciated in a home.
BEING A MOTHER...
And we came to the picture making her a mother, and she describes her excitement seeing me, of course as the eldest. Then my brothers came and life became bittersweet, it had begun to become a drag. She tells me that my grandmother would borrow me during the weekends, and she would freely hand me to my grandmother to ease some burden once in a while. She talks about traveling by bus to her parents house and bringing the 3 of us (that time it was just us 3 siblings). She would instruct me to hold her pants in the left, my brother on the right, while she carries my baby brother, and some bags too!
LIFE AS A FAMILY...
She said that it was never a perfect family. She don't want to elaborate but I can sense heaviness in her heart. I know my dad has always been a good hardworking provider, but has shortcomings too on being a husband to his wife. Perhaps my mother has been so patient on him, I don't know how to describe it because I have loose ends to talk about it, but I'm confident that she amazingly knot this family together, to keep it this way until now.
She said that there was never a time of great monetary assets, but it was rich in many ways.
I'M SO PROUD OF HER...
After talking to her, at this moment of writing, much to my surprise, I become teary-eyed, and the halfway of this I am weeping. The thing is I find my mother here.
Not on her store, not in the kitchen and not on the couch in front of the television. At last I begin to see her as herself: her heart full of expectations as she ventures away from her comfort zone, her courage to face life despite of the odds, and her young self with much fun inside. It is in seeing her then that I am finally able to appreciate her now.
THE MESSAGE...
To my dear Nanay, I love you and you will always be that special person. Thank you for not giving up on us and keeping us all in your tight embrace, (though sometimes when I was younger I thought of it as suffocating, lol!) Well, you really know how and yes, that's because you're our Nanay. May God bless you with heaps of grace, mercy and love.
To all mom's reading this, may the good Lord continually bless you with so much love to share for your children and others. Your efforts are always appreciated.
Proverbs 31:31: "Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."
Cheers to all mothers and to aunts/ titas who have been loving children close to her heart.
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Happy Mother's Day to your mom po! I can see how great she is and your lucky to have her!