What did I do?

Hai hello there people. How are you everyone? I just woke up today and so I made my draft here and I was glad that even though with my one month of inactivity, Rusty dear still visits me. Thanks a lot, I was just so glad with I received.

So I've been so very lazy last month, I am worried with !y school projects and paper works so I said to myself that I will put more focused on my study. So yeah I did answer some of my modules, I did my video projects and research, I did also my exams since second semester is about to end.

Last month was very painful, yeah I think I am still not over with my ex based on my latest article, I did also had a dream with again last night. Hmmmm why o whyyy is this woman keep posting on my mind? And I read the comments on my article, one of them asked. Are you still inlove with your ex? I still miss her and yeah I still love her, I believe that we cannot unlove the person we once loved, because they have been the best part of our lives, the happiness, sadness and the memories are still there, though the person left, but the memories is still be cherished.

Do you ever have a lover? A long term relationship. Yeah

Like you got so many experiences, that you both promised that you will choose to stay no matter what happen, that both of you will last forever, that I will never fall in love to another. And you thought it will last forever and that forever you thought ends at the very short time.

I remember when Moira said at her break up. Doesn't mean two people didn't end up together it's a wrong one, instead I will be amaze and say wow I got the privilege of knowing and loving, and from now on I will remember all the happiness from our relationship.

A person who went through a lot the pain and says what she or he feels is really true. It's like accepting that people come and go. That our partners today might be strangers tomorrow. We know nothing with our tomorrow, even if we promised, we can never force ourselves to get back to that person if we were never really meant to be. If they leave they will always leave, we cannot beg them and it's a big NO to beg someone just to stay. No I've been there and when this person Said yes I will stay it's because I AM SORRY FOR YOU NOT BECAUSE I LOVE AND and we don't deserve that, we deserve pure love not that forced one. If they go then let them.

One thing I have learned this year is ACCEPTANCE

To accept to feel free and free. Now I accepted the fact that my ex and I will never be together again, and I accepted that she has her new lover. I do have mine and I also accepted this man for he have shown he's lobe and pure intention even at my bad attitude. Yeah he is.

I have my boyfriend, He is good to me, he is simple and he has the posture I was looking for a man. Sometimes I get angry to him for no reason, I want to break up with him but he never agreed. I like the part that he chose to stay even at my worst. I did say bad words to him, I did block him and unfriended him. But still he's the one to fix me and then get back with him. Maybe because he understands me?

Starting today, I will put all my love to this man, and I am really sorry with the harsh thing I did to him just for him to get hurt and agree for my break up. He never stop sending sorry, he did nothing wrong but then he was sorry, he was afraid of losing me and I am glad that I found the person who treats me better than my past.

Happy Wednesday!

SALAMAT ❤️