I almost had him.

I was inspired to write this upon reading the published article of @ling01.Here is the link. https://read.cash/@Ling01/they-called-it-puppy-love-07aa62bf

While I was reading I suddenly remembered my high school life.

Glimpsed of High school life.

I was in my second year of high school (grade 8) when I met this guy. Let's just call him JM. He is a year older than me. I only saw him one time when I was waiting for my next class. He went out next to my classroom. I don't know but I felt my heart beat so fast upon looking at him. Haha, I guess I got a crush on him instantly. JM was cute, he had a fair complexion , pointed nose but what attracted me was his eyes. How I am gonna describe it? His eyes look mysterious? He actually looks ;like a snob.

Since then, I have done some research about him . Like his class schedule, where he lives but most of all if he had a girlfriend. Hahah I know he was still young, but who knows right? Good thing I had a friend who happened to be his classmate. I got the information I needed but of course I did it in a way my friend wouldn't notice that I got a crush on him.

I was just a simple student back then. I am aware that I am not that "likeable". Plus I am not that friendly. So for sure JM wouldn't like me.

I met his bestfriend.

It was summer time and we will be celebrating our fiesta in our Barrio. During that time, It was early 2000'w "bayle " is very common in our Province. Just to give a little trivia, "Bayle " is an informal dance and was held at night mostly in the town's plaza. All men arerequired to pay for an entrance fee while females are free or would pay only for $.09. IF you want to know more, you may watch the below video.

So back to his bestfriend, it happened that his family owned the sound system that was used during our bayle. Since we are almost same age, we did have some conversation. I don't know as I could no longer recall what happened that time but I ended up telling him I got a crush on JM.

Back to school.

I was in grade 8 and JM is on grade 9. This is his last year in high school. Still my feelings didn't changed. His bestfriend and I became friends and even tried to ship me to JM. Like, even told him that I got a crush on him.

Sad to know, I was right. JM is a snob . He won't even smile or talk to me. In short he didn't crush back. It even came to a point that all his classmates know that I got a crush on him. They would tease us, but JM doesn't care. Suplado po si Kuya mga Beshy!

As the days flies too fast, until school year ended. As for JM? I still got same reaction from him.

I met JM again when I was in college.

I stopped for two years due to financial reasons before I pursued college. What surprised me is that JM was my schoolmate. I was shocked when I saw him. Like, OMG! He was still handsome. His bestfriend who happened to be his classmate recognized me. We did have some chit chats.
When I got home, I was thinking maybe JM and I will be have a chance this time. Feels like we are destined to be together. See, we even became schoolmates again.

So I was so excited to go school. Who wouldn't if you gonna saw your long time crush right? However, my rising hope got easily crashed! Well I saw JM walking while holding a hand of a certain girl. As in literal "HHWW". Wala na Besh! Wala na agad pag - asa. Umasa lng pala sa wala ang Ate.

His bestfriend laughed at me when I told him. It was also confirmed that it was his girlfriend and they are together since freshmen .

Since, I don't have a choice, I just try my best to forget JM. I accepted the fact that we are not meant for each other.

JM approached me.

I was in my senior years and was busy on my practice teaching when I accidentally met his bestfriend. He then told me that JM and his girlfriend already broke up a year ago. I don't know if it is normal but I felt happy. Hahah. Am I bad? Then I got that thinking again that maybe it's our time. Like what Sarah G said in her song " maybe this time"

One afternoon I was waiting to ride (a jeep) when a motorcycle stopped beside me. I was surprise. No I was shocked when he took his helmet. It was JM! not only that, he was smiling!

I felt like, is this for real? For years this is the first time that he approached me. He did ask if how I am, some of my whereabouts and even offered me a ride. OMG, I was so kilig that time. I was smiling widely and I bet my eyes were twinkling. Can you imagine what I look like?

My kilig doesn't ended there. As when I opened my Facebook after a few days, I saw a friend request from JM. I immediately accepted and he was online that time. He sent me a message. Then, we have been exchanging chats.

JM wants to court me.

We were just having normal conversation when suddenly JM says , he wants to COURT me. My eyes grew wider as I read his message. I was so happy and felt like it was a dream come .

Then my smile slowly fades as I realize I am no longer available. Yes, I was in a relationship that time. I almost forgot and it seems like I almost cheated him. I felt so sorry, I actually had mixed emotions. As much as I want to say YES, I declined JM. I told him that I already had a boyfriend and we have been together for a year.

Since then , I decided to cut my communications with him. I felt like I was gonna cheat on my boyfriend anytime if our communications continued. I guess I really loved JM but during that time it was the right thing to do.

Closing thoughts.

Is JM my TOTGA? I am not sure. We have never been in a relationship and besides I am not even sure if he really likes me at that time. Who knows I might be a rebound for him.

As for JM, we are still friends on facebook and the last time I saw him uploaded a picture of his family. Yes, he is already married and has two kids. As I look into his picture, I know longer feel those feelings I had before. So I came into that thought that maybe what I felt for JM was just a sort of puppy love.

That's all for today and thank you for dropping by.