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Parenting mistake that leads to childhood trauma

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Written by   199
8 months ago

In this world we are living is that there is a 385,000 babies are being born and having a life. That is from the estimation from the study taken by the United Nations. 191 babies per hour and every minute is there are 3 babies. It's not that it is bad or good. But the problem is the parents thinks that having a child is as easy as eating a rice that you can spit it when it's too hot. Most of the parents doesn't know what are the heavy responsibilities it would take to raise a child. In just United States alone, there are 34.5 million child ages ranges from 0-17 are experiencing a lot of mental trauma and even physical trauma. Most of this are from their parents who lacks of parenting skills. It's because they didn't actually know what are the mistake that they do that can make their children in trauma.

Ignoring their children

They say that children became what they are seeing from their parents. Thus, this means that the children needed their parents attention and presence inside the house. However, there are lot of parents, a single parents or even a two working couple couples who tend to always left their child alone at their house. Every time, when a child achieve something or do something great is that they wanted their parents to see it. And to hear some praise from their parents. But in some cases, the parents ignore their child that puts trauma to the children thinking they doesn't need to achieve something or that their parents doesn't love them.

Constantly comparing to others

Mother's know best for their child, and that's what we all think of. Some mother think that comparing their child to someone achiever will make their child motivated to become a better person but most of the time is the opposite will happen. Constantly comparing will make the children think that they're not enough, they might question that "will my mom gonna become more happier if s/he is her true child?" This will make the children stress and depressed and will bring it up upto their adult stage.

Parent's favouritism

Parents says that they love all their children equally but that is just all words. There are lot of parents who's treating someone way more better than the other. Most of the people who experience and observing this are the middle siblings, they're the most understanding but tends to be emotional in silence too because they're seeing more that's happening to the house. They're the one tends to be ignore and see who's the most favourite and finding out they're the least favourite. A family who's shows favouritism will mark big trauma to the child. Crippling their childhood asking what's wrong with them and why their parents can't love them the way they love their siblings.

Saying things such as "I feed you"

It's the worst thing a parents could say to their children. Saying I feed you, I gave you a house, I school you, I pay you bills, I gave you life and this is how you repay me?. Parents should realize that their child doesn't choose to be born in this world we are living. They're not aware in the first place that they will gonna be alive. They don't choose who's family they will be. It's all the parents fault why their children is in there in the first place. That's why it is their responsibilities to give their child the things it needs to survive and they shouldn't say things such like that.

Putting pressure to their child and handling their unachieved dream to them

Most of the parents failed at something they wanted to be before. They wanted to graduate college, become a professional become an athlete or whatever it could be. Even as a parents the still wanted their dreams to be achieved but they can't because they have their responsibilities that stops them and this gave them an idea to pass their dream to their children. They will mark to their child's mind to become something brainwashing them that this is the best way and only way to success. However, when time passed the children will now become aware and will know what are the things they wanted to be but they don't wanted to shatter their parents dream for them. That's why even against their will is that they will continue what they're doing and out pressure on their shoulder. They will bring it until they aged and die.

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There are millions of ways for a a parents to have their children a trauma for life. A million of ways to affect their child's mental health. It's inevitable to hit them a couple of times when they do something bad. It's a parent's responsibilities to put their child on right manners. A parent's should be aware into all of it a constant sincere commination between two will make things right, for there are lot of ways to show how much you love your children too.

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Written by   199
8 months ago
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Comments

Parents aren't ignoring their children, just the pressure of work and life let the time with children and parents even less than 15 minutes a day that is very small. Children after school have to prepare for their lesson means even in the evening the only meeting time is during dinner and generally parents eats fast and this is the favorable moment to speak about their problem and rarely about children.

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8 months ago

15 minutes is indeed a very short time for a bond between a parents and children, sometimes it is less than 15 minutes. Communication is very important to make the bond stronger

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8 months ago

It's not the children's choice to live, it's the parents. No parenting is perfect but, living organisms have up to this innate behavioral practice to take good care of their children. It is really unfortunate for those children who are mistreated by their parents. They did not choose to live yet, it seems like they are brought up in this world to let them feel the cruelty and the feeling of unbelonging. Parents should be aware of the things that their children can't handle. Parents are supposed to support not demand, teach not to humiliate, and love not to hate their children.

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8 months ago

Ewan, pero halos lahat ata ng parents ganyan i treat yung mga anak nila hahaha. Minsan di ko gets kung ginusto ba talaga nilang mag supling or napilitan lang. Yung ganyang treatment from parents are nag pupush sa mga bata na mag rebelde or maipasa sa next generation din eh.

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8 months ago

Yess po atee, may mga parents na walang pakealam sa mga anak Nila, hindi Nila alam yung trauma na nabibigay neto sa mga bata. Pero may mga anak ding pong gagawin ang lahat basta mabigay sa magiging anak nila yung hindi kayang ibigay ng mga magulang Nila sa kanila

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8 months ago

All of these things are happening in real life. Being a perfect, I am not a perfect one, but I do like to make my kids live happily. Kids don't deserved to be treated unfairly but they deserved loved.

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8 months ago

Now I can relate becausE I am also a mother, I may not be providing my child with luxurios things and foods but what I gave her is the love from a mother.. I had a trauma as well, when my mother abamdoned us , so I don't want my daughter to experience the same.

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8 months ago

I'm so sorry for making you remember about your trauma and hearing your story but I'm happy that you're doing your best to show your love to your daughter. You are doing great!

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8 months ago

thank you so much..

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8 months ago

Sometimes, some parents don't realise that what they're doing isn't already right. Some parents thought that parenting is all about responsibility, securing their children's future. Giving them food and sending them to school. They forgot about the quality time and so their children's felt that they are being neglected. Sometimes the way they discipline their own l child had already crossed their limitations as a parent's. Children have also rights to voice out, needs to learn from their own choices and grow from their own mistakes. They are not born to be their own puppet. Parents should also know how to balance their parenting methods to discipline and creating the better future of their own child. Too much expectations and pressure from parents Would definitely kill the happiness and freedom of the child. That is why as a parent it is really important to know the basic and common mistakes that can possibly bring trauma and negative impacts to the child's growth for a healthy parents and child's relationship.

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8 months ago

If parents tend to do things that you mentioned above, I believe they should never have wanted a child in the first place.

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8 months ago

Indeed, that might be the reason, but still a responsibility must be done in a proper way

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8 months ago