Since I'd be returning to Lagos in two weeks, memories of Lagos drama has been replaying itself in my head and I just can't say "No" to it because those are the best kinds of memories one can have; sincerely speaking, if you are a Nigerian and you haven't been to Lagos then you you're still living in the shadows, and without a true experience of the harsh realities of life. Lagos is like the almighty invisible capital of Nigeria with a population of over 20 Million people tagged as mad men and women; sincerely speaking all lagosians are crazy; Lagosians like @Olasquare and @HappyBoy will totally understand that Lagos is not for the weak because you're basically dealing with crazy people everyday; asking a person if he or she can marry someone that was once mad is like asking if he or she can marry a Lagosian as seen in below tweet;
According to a random lagosian on twitter; the beautiful ladies in Lagos are all graduates and undergraduates of Yabaleft (Yabaleft is a mental institution located in yaba). I kind of agree with this because you'd be taking an innocent walk down the street and next thing you see is another drama; two ladies fighting each other over a boyfriend issue "you took my boyfriend from me and bla bla" while pulling each other's wigs and tearing each other's clothes.. it's the funniest thing ever and lagosians be like "don't separate them, let's see how it ends"... haha.
If you go to computer village to buy a phone and you're not smart, you'd get home and realise you were given an empty carton regardless of whether you'vealready seen the phone in the shop or not; go back to the shop and realise the shop didn't exist in the first place or they'd totally denie knowing you because you're definitely gonna meet a different person.
Those Lagos conductors can send you back to your village if you're not smart; imagine a bus conductor holding money in all denomination in a clearly visible way yet he keeps telling you there's no change until you reach your last bustop so he can merge you with someone else to sort yourselves out instead of giving you your change; if you're a gentle boy and you don't know how to shout at conductors or display a little bit of madness, they won't answer you.
While normal people enter buses one after the other, Lagosians turn it into a survival of the fittest by struggling and rough handling each other all in a bud to enter a public transport; if you're not sharp your phone will he gone from your pocket before you can even pronounce the word "Quiditch".
I remember very well that those Laspotech (Lagos state polytechnic) students can be really crazy; I don't know if @George_Dee also did this during his time as a student; those students take public buses labelled lasposug (lagos state polytechnic SUG) from itaoluwo bustop to Laspotech gate and wouldn't want to pay transport fare but label themselves "staff" haha... they get away with it a lot but some crazy bus conductors force their money out of their hands..lagos and madness .haha..
If you're taking a walk along Ikorodu do not put your phone in your pocket- I repeat do not put your phone in your pocket unless you do not intend to return home with it; always hold it in your hands. Imagine taking a walk along the crowded road and some random guy suddenly collides with you; he apologises and few steps forward your smartphone is no longer in your pocket..🤣🤣.. it's not funny but your phone is gone and gone forever. @Gaftekloriginal better be careful if he wants to visit me; anyway he's a lagosian so he knows how to handle himself unlike @Princessbusayo that stays in Ondo state.
And there's the existence of the unending Lagos traffic; I've gotten so used to Lagos traffic that being on the move in Odo state is totally boring for me because it's always a smooth and females ride without any form of hold up or traffic; it's just too perfect and too wrong; for me a road without traffic is a road that doesn't exist. Those crazy hours of traffic in lagos are always enjoyable; imagine being in traffic for three hours in a journey that shouldn't take more than twenty minutes- Imagine taking a 45 minutes flight from Abuja to Lagos but you spend 6 hours from the airport to your house in Lagos because the traffic will forever be your best friend.
Altogether Lagos is a really wonderful place, a place you want to be; then there's unilag girls which I'd rather not talk about..haha @King_Gozie can relate.
@Mhizutty come say hi to me in Lagos its gonna be fun, I'd send you flight ticket as soon as you're ready.
Toddles!
Lead image from unsplash
😅😅😅😅lagos and madness, someone once told me if you are driving in lagos please assume every one you are seeing on the road are mad people and I said why? He said lagosian are not normal people 😅😅😅😅. I sabi say your phone can fly ag anytime so I am always careful, thanks for the mention. I am proud of my state though, we are the best