Sept 30, 2021

Hello my dear readers and fellow writers!

I just want to express all my thoughts in here about how exhausted I am yesterday both as a mom and as a wife.

Pressured at work

If you have ever bumped into the artcile that I have written yesterday about being the subject matter expert, you might already understand where the pressure is coming from.

I felt flattered that my manager considered me as one of the SMEs at work despite of my tenure with the team. I am with the team for 2 yrs and 5 months now yet my Manager considered me as one of the SMEs already.

Yesterday, I became very anxious when my Manager told us the other day that we are going to have a call with one of the big Boss and we have to represent the application that we're considered to be good at. That meeting with the big Boss was supposedly 10:00 PM last night.

Before the meeting, I've prepared the materials that I'll be using in my presentation. And 2 hrs before it, I and my other colleague conducted a practice session. We tried to time each other and see if we are able to cover everything that we need to within the alloted time which is 15 minutes. Our audience and commentators are our three newjoiners. We seek help from them and ask for their comments and recommendations after our practice call.

We're really tense at that time. After the practice call, we already fixed ourselves. We dressed up. I also put a little lipstick so that I won't look so pale in the camera.

Everything is ready. And we agreed to dial in 5 minutes before the scheduled meeting.

9:55 PM, when we are about to dial in, our Manager suddenly chatted us and informed us that the meeting will be postponed cause the big Boss is not available.

I felt releived somehow. Atleast we still have more time to prepare.

Exhausted wife

While I am busy preparing for the meeting, I just suddenly heard a commotion downstairs. My husband got mad to my kids when he saw them using their gadgets without asking our permission.

Early in the afternoon, he confiscated the kids' gadgets for not being so nice to each other as siblings. They fought all the time. My daughter is showing disrespect with his brother while his brother is also not being so nice to her.

He spanked 2 of my kids with belt. I approached thrm and asked my husband what is it all about. But then his madness intensified and spanked my kids once more. When he is about to do another sttemot, I have stopped him already. I told him that spanking the kids once is already enough.

We had a bit heated conversation because of that. He left and went to the ztore without leaving any words. While I, faced my children and talked to them about their violations regarding the usage of gadgets.

After that, I went back to my work and continued reviewing in preparation for my presentation.

My husband came back at around 7:00PM. I did not talked to him till we go to bed. He slept with my 2 kids in the other room.

Exhausted mom

Despite of my busy sched at work, I must still have to allot some time assisting my daughter with her assignments.

In a daily basis, everytime I finished working, I asked my 2 kids if they have assignments.

But everytime I asked my daughter (grade 2 student), she couldn't answer me hence I always have to check with her teacher if they have assignment. I even asked the teacher to post their assignments in the groupchat cause not all students have guardians during their class. Just like my daughter, she's attending the class without me on her side cause I also have work during her school time.

After dinner, instead of spending some time to rest, I will have to assist my daughter with her assignments. Their modules are accessible from their portal but of course since my daughter is just 7 years old, she don't know how to navigate through their oortal yet, unlike my son who is already in grade 6.

There's just some time that I felt do tired after work and wanted to rest but I don't have a choice. I have to assist my dsughter cause no one is available to assist her except me. I tried to ssk my husband one time but he refused to and told me "di ko alam yang mga ganyan".

I think that would be all for now. Thanks for patiently reading my rants.

Please don't get me wrong.

Despite of being so exhausted sometimes, I still continue to strive for my family. My family is my top priority.

Before I end this, I wanted to share with you this beautiful rose. Flower helps set my mood and hence each morning, I go and visit my flowers and here is one of the best bloom I've got.