I'm sick of "feminism" - and I'm a woman

I'm one of the most progressive, forward thinking women around (or at least I think I am), and I am growing increasingly annoyed at the way the world is going on about pushing women's rights and gender equality and blah blah blah.

What is *feminism*?

According to Oxford:

noun

the advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes.

Now I fully believe in equal rights for genders and I 100% support the above definition. But I do not support what the world is turning into right now.

Also, side note: this isn't a post relating to LGBTIQ, and there is no disrespect intended to people who classify themselves as who they are. I classify myself as a woman, so I'm speaking from my point of view. I believe in living your best life, and this is mine.

So what went wrong with "gender equality"?

I'll use the example of Marc De Mesel (I'm not going to tag him here, because I'm certain he is constantly tagged, but Marc, if you see this...thanks for being the inspiration for this post) and the video he posted on YouTube which caused him to write this post:

https://read.cash/@MarcDeMesel/am-i-preying-on-young-girls-190a0984

If he is in a position to financially take care of those he loves, why should anyone have an issue with him requesting that they stay at home and take care of the children, house, and him?

If a woman wants to do that job, why should I (as another woman) judge her for her choices? This is the question I ask when I feel the need to criticize anyone's choices:

Is the relationship, safe, sane and consensual?

That's it. If it's safe, neither party can get hurt.

If it's sane, neither party is being taken advantage of.

If it's consensual, both parties are there because they want to be.

A lot of this post is to the women out there - stop judging your sisters who make a choice that you don't want for your life. If you feel there is harm being done, then step in, otherwise stop judging.

Why is it so difficult for a woman in the workplace?

Do you know how many times I've been offered a job because a company wants to meet their female-management "quota"? Do you have any idea how disgusted I am that the only reason some organizations have looked twice at me is because I need to be "empowered" because I'm a woman? Seriously? I'm a 32 year old woman who is highly qualified - if you can find a male candidate who is better, HIRE HIM. Don't hire me - I want to be appointed because of what is between my ears, not my legs.

There is this overwhelming perception of a woman being a baby-making-machine. Hire them, work the probation and then 6 months later BOOM, first pregnancy. Organization's don't want to appoint someone and then end up risking the chance of having to pay a person who is routinely pregnant. Does it annoy me that employers look at me like this? Yes. Am I going to go and raise hell over it? No. If I'm applying for work somewhere I make it clear - I don't want to have children at any point. That's me, my choice. I don't expect that to be every woman's choice. If a woman wants a career and to have children, she's entitled to do that! But yes, other women's choices impact the perception of me because of my gender.

I'm tired of men being slandered for being MEN

Why is it outrageous in today's world for a man to want to be the provider, and to want to marry a homemaker / housewife? Why should you concern yourself with judging the people who make those decisions?

Being a housewife is a difficult job, especially when you bring children into the mix. If I didn't love my career so much, I could think of absolutely nothing better than spending every single day at home ensuring that all I need to do is keep my man happy, fed, watered, wined, and pleasured. That would be an excellent life! But that's not ME. I want my job, my independence and my work. Does that make me a useless housewife? No.

I can be both, I can have my career, and when I come home I can make sure the house is in order, the cooking and cleaning are done and allow my man to enjoy his home. I do that because I love my home and my Fiancé, not because he treats me like a slave. I have the most helpful, caring husband to be on this planet (yes, huge bias, but hey, he's mine and I love him) and he always wants to help with doing things. I don't want him to do it because I love our home. It's our first real home that we've had together. I also do take after my Mom who taught me two things in my life (she taught me many more, but relating to this post):

• Never rely on a man - always be independent.

• Always make sure your home is your haven of peace.

My Mom was a housewife, she hates that word, but there's no reason to - she took care of everything. She took care of making sure when my Dad came home from work there was food on the table, clean clothes in the cupboard and a fresh smelling clean home to enjoy. She made sure that I was settled and fed and my Dad had nothing to worry about other than me wanting playtime when I was a young child.

What better role model could I have had? I learned how to cook when I was 6 years old, I learned how to clean, Mom taught me about how to make a garden a paradise and how to do things that a woman needs to be a woman. I needed to know those things whether or not I was going to be a housewife or a single independent woman. A woman has got a natural ability and desire to "nest". I love nesting our home. I wouldn't be able to do that if my Mom hadn't taught me how. I learned from her - there were no maids or gardeners or childminders, my Mom did everything. To this day my Mom makes our home beautiful.

When does feminism go too far?

The best summary I've found was an answer by a quora reader: https://www.quora.com/When-does-feminism-go-too-far

Feminism goes too far when it demands equity instead of equality

https://onlinepublichealth.gwu.edu/resources/equity-vs-equality/

Equity recognizes that each person has different circumstances and allocates the exact resources and opportunities needed to reach an equal outcome.

I'm tired of this equity nonsense - I am a woman. I have a brain, I am good at what I do. I do not need additional "help" because I'm weak and disadvantaged. I mean, what a slap in the face - "everyone is equal but we will help you out because you're the weaker sex". *Insert Eyeroll and Sigh HERE*

I'm tired of men being made out to be insignificant

Why are "we" accepting posters like this:

We really shouldn't be telling the world that there is ONE bunch of people who ARE the future. Number one - it's impossible to ensure reproduction with two vaginas or two penises. You need ovaries and testes for this whole baby-making thing to work.

Also, what if that sign read, "The future is male"? What would the backlash be then? Every single person would be getting their knickers in a knot and losing it because it's sexist. But not with signs like this...because men are being emasculated - if they say something they are deemed as being sexist.

I am sure this post may get a pile of backlash, but that's okay - so long as it gets people talking and thinking about the ability to stop judging each other. We need to take a good hard look at ourselves before we start imprinting our opinions on others. You don't want to be a housewife? Then don't.

Lead Image by Pixabay User: geralt