I usually went to Sitio Lawis of Cacao, Hilongos, Leyte whenever I wanted to comfort myself from too much stress in school. I loved to be there because it was so relaxing, the people there were very much hospitable, the place was so peaceful away from the noise of big trucks and motorcycles and above all, Mr. Fudgee Bar lives there. The said place was perfect for videoke singing that it gave me no reason not to go there too often. In fact, his grandparents owned the videoke I always sang to.
There was one time that destiny really arranged everything for real—I mean, for an unexpected thing I always expected to happen. So weird. So rare. Fate orchestrated such musical occasion for the two of us. I mean, an exchange of “love” conversation through poetry, more specifically, songs.
I arrived in the area while he sang the lyrics,
“MAY NAGMAMAHAL NA BA SAYO?
KUNG WALA’Y AKO NA LANG.”
I wanted to answer him that I was all alone by myself up to that very moment. I wanted to shout but I knew my place. I knew that he wasn’t addressing the song to me. There was a little awkwardness—a little gap. He looked at me and I reserved a song I intended to sing for him as my reply, but of course without noticing him my very purpose of singing that song. Oh my, it was my turn,
“OCEAN DEEP, I’M SO AFRAID TO SHOW MY FEELINGS,
I HAVE SAILED A MILLION SAILINGS.”
Cliff Richard taught me to keep that love I kept in the ocean deep. Mr. Fudgee Bar seemed like not getting my intention at all. I was saddened because he didn’t even care for that song.
It was his turn again. He stared at me as he sang,
“ WALANG SAGOT SA TANONG KUNG BAKIT KA MAHALAGA.”
I was left abated because of that stare and that ultimately confronted me with the most heart-wrenching question of all: how far would I go to keep the hope of love alive?
It was my turn again,
"PUSO’Y NAGTATAKA, ANO ANG MAYRON KA.
BAKIT HANGGANG NGAYO’Y, MAHAL PA RIN KITA.
ILANG ULIT MO NG SINAKTAN ANG DAMDAMIN KO.
BAKIT LAGING BUMABALIK SAYO.”
While I sang that song, I saw his grandmother looking at his grandchild and glancing at me every after 10 seconds as I calculated it using the unused nerves in my head. It was as if she insisted that there was something between us---that she should be formally informed. He opened the beer I bought in their small store. The lyrics continued,
“INISIP NG PUSO NA HUMANAP NG IBA.
BAKIT IKAW PA RIN SA AKING ALA-ALA.
DI KO KAYANG DAYAIN ANG PAG-IBIG KO SAYO.”
My eyes couldn’t get off against his since they were glued like nothing could separate. His eyes told me that the song was beautifully rendered and consummately moving. My heart pounded, pressured by the thrill the situation gave. But everything that I felt magical changed when he sang 2002.
“I’LL ALWAYS REMEMBER THE WAY YOU KISSED MY LIPS.”
Did we really kiss? It was not me he’s referring to all this time. Because all I remembered was there was no kissing, in between the two of us, that happened. What was clearer to me was the time we were drunk when we hugged each other’s company while sharing the same warmth I always yearned for. We actually shared each other’s broken-hearted story twice. We were both blue. He sang another song,
“DI MO ALAM, ANG DINANAS KO, ILANG BESES DIN AKONG LUMUHA.”
“Mr. Fudgee Bar? Did you not remember? You shared your woeful love story to me twice. Did you not remember the two important nights you cried with me? I might not hear it since the sound of the speakers was so loud, but I knew those were massive enough to drain your energy and pull you down. Did you not notice that two vesper nights had already gone when we both plummeted on the same hole? Hence, don’t tell me that I did not know.”
I remembered it right, we only spoke and spent a whole night talking earnestly two times--- every vesper night of our barangay fiesta. It was annually actually. I stopped singing and I let him sing the last song I reserved,
“ KINALIMUTAN KAHIT NAHIHIRAPAN PARA SA SARILING KAPAKANAN,
MGA ORAS NA HINDI NA MABABALIKAN, PINAGTAGPO NGUNIT HINDI TINADHANA,
PUSO NATIN AY HINDI SA ISA’T ISA.”
Magnus Haven, I mean Mr. Fudgee Bar, was so mean in singing that song. It was the saddest song he sang that day. Well, that slapped me that we were not meant for each other. But the song NOBELA still gave me hope to continue hoping,
“ DI KO NA KAYA PA NA KALIMUTAN BAWAT SANDALI NA LANG,
AT AALIS, MAGBABALIK AT UULITING SABIHIN NA MAHALIN
KA’T SAMBITIN KAHIT MULING MASAKTAN
SA PAG-ALIS AKO’Y MAGBABALIK AT SANA NAMA’Y...”
added by Ben and Ben’s reminder
“ LEAVES WILL SOON GROW FROM THE BARENESS OF TREES,
I KNOW IT WILL BE ALRIGHT IN TIME.”
It was indeed a good day. I realized that we had something in common. We chose the songs that reflected the dominating shadow casted by our hearts. We both loved sad songs as we both found ourselves in those heavy-hearted lyrics. However, like a still water, I continued to hope not to be disturbed again. I finished the last glass of beer and decided to pay his grandparent of the necessary charges I consumed. After paying, I saw his grandmother reserving a song. I got going. He bid goodbye as I started to heat up the engine of my motorbike. The engine roared loudly but I could still hear the lyrics of the song his grandmother was singing, “ TUBOD SA NAUGHANG SAPA”...
Did she read our eyes too? Before I totally left, his grandmother looked at me and her lips spelled,
"There is a hurt that cannot be fixed by poetry."
Dear readers,
Do you also find yourselves in sad songs???
Or do you remember a certain someone when you heard a particular song you dearly love or hate?
Thank you for reading. ENJOY every story/article Junva31996 has offered!
Love,
Junva31996
