You Are Struggling For Success. Five Things You Can Do About It.

"Wow! What an accomplishment! Some day I'll be successful like you."

"You are so successful! How do you do it?"

"Jonica is a successful blogger. I want to be like that one day."

I hear stuff like this all the time.

I used to argue with people who had the temerity to say I was a success.

Because in my mind, clearly, I was a failure. Clearly, nothing ever turned out the way I wanted it to. Clearly, I was struggling.

I would argue,

"But I could do so much more."

"This piece of artwork is trash."

"I only write fluff or personal essays. I'm not a real writer."

I don't argue anymore. In fact, I don't really struggle too much with the concept that I am successful.

Because I am. I'm a great success!

But I didn't come by this recognition easily. It took a lot of work. It took a few steps. If you apply yourself and use these steps, I'm certain you'll soon stop struggling for success.

Change Your Perspective

First of all, I don't actually think you are struggling for success.

I think you are struggling to feel successful.

So, the first step will be to change your perspective. You will have to stop looking out and start looking in.

My aunt and two cousins are artists. My aunt is incredibly successful and has her own art gallery.

You can actually check it out here.

And her daughters, my cousins, are incredibly artistic as well. My cousins, Cindy and Cathy, even had a coloring book published. Check it out here.

Cindy does amazing things with wood, contouring, and smoothing.

And their baby sister, Sara, makes beautiful pieces, welding, and painting. Cindy made a frame for one of Sara's pieces that looked like it grew right out of the art.

And then, there's me. Forever the starving artist. Only selling a few "sell-out" pieces. Never in a gallery. Only painting for myself.

Clearly, I was not a success. Right?

But really, I was struggling to feel successful when compared to others who had many benefits I did not. The support of parents, education, and creativity encouraged.

I had none of those things but still managed to learn to paint.

I didn't feel successful because I was comparing myself to others. It wasn't until I changed my perspective and started comparing myself only to myself that I began to feel success.

Take The Long View

Many, too many, of us, feel a need for instant gratification. We don't just want to get rich, we want to get rich quick.

That's why so many in the investing world, in the cryptoverse, have become targets for scams and scammers.

People don't take the long view.

When I first arrived here in the Texas Panhandle, I didn't see a ranch. I saw dirt. And junk. So. Much. Junk.

When my husband was busy building fence, he planned for flooding. He built the fence accordingly. All I saw was drought scorched earth. Flood? Water? A creek? Are you kidding me? But he insisted.

Of course, he was right. He took the long view. Had he not built the fence with the flood in mind, I would not have been able to stand on that bridge and take the video. The bridge would've washed out when all the trash built up.

Instead, the water was able to flow through.

That's the next step to feeling success. Take the long view. Don't get hung up on the right now. Don't insist on instant gratification.

My husband waited eleven years to be able to see the positives results of his fence building.

Stop expecting everything to happen right this instant.

When I looked at the plot of dirt we had fenced off and held the seeds in my hand, all I could see was dirt and dried-up seeds. But I planted the seed and watered the dirt. Every day, I watered and weeded. And weeks and weeks later I finally saw a tiny thing I was able to pick and to cook and to eat.

When I planted those seeds I did not expect to get beans that day. Or the next. Or the next after that.

But I took the long view and look what I've been able to gain!

Even after bringing in baskets full of beans I could not say I was immediately gratified. There was still work to do!

No instant gratification even after I got all the beans. I still had work to do.

And even after I had those beans in a pot boiling on the stove, I still didn't get instantly gratified. I had to wait even longer. A few more hours cooking in the pot is what those beans needed.

What if I had stopped at the dirt and the seed? What if I had given up or stomped off in a huff when the little seed didn't grow immediately?

I wouldn't have a delicious, nutritious meal.

I took the long view. And my mouth and belly are gratified.

Look Up

That's actually not a statement of positivity although a good attitude never hurts.

Most people see success as a great big moment. A single high note ringing through the air. A chorus of angels singing hallelujah. A scientist shouting Eureka!

In fact, success is made by many little steps. Some steps go forward and some backward. Even three steps forward and two steps back is progress.

Your progress may be as minuscule as Rusty's micro-tips.

Your progress might be a leap forward or just a small stumble.

As you are tiny stepping your way to the mountain of success you have to look up every now and then to see how far you've come.

That mountain peak getting bigger? That's a sign of success. But if you can't see it, you'll never feel it.

So, look up.

Next thing you know, you may be standing on the apex of the mountain looking down on all your hard work. Maybe then the angels will sing. But first, you have to look up.

Fail In Order To Succeed

This might seem counterintuitive. Success is, well, succeeding. Isn't it?

I'm sure you've heard the analogies of all the athletes. How many times did they stumble and fall during training before they achieved the gold medal, the world cup, the Superbowl, a knockout in 93 seconds?

How many times did Space-X explode before billionaires traveled to space?

You will only feel successful after you feel failure. Each stumble pushing you forward to greater feats.

I used to say I took more paint off the canvas than I put on it. But was every mis-stroke of my brush a failure? Was every poorly mixed color a failure? If so, each failure led to success.

When I finally put down the brush. When I finally signed the painting and put it on the wall. The success I felt at those times was built on the mistakes and failures I had made on the canvas.

In order to succeed, you must first fail.

Keep Looking Forward

This is the first piece of advice I received as a new investor. It came from my husband. He is a wise man, as you've already read.

He said, "Only look back to see how far you've come. Never look back to see what could've been."

This is the best advice ever!

Seriously.

Think about that shitcoin you bought dirt cheap. You waited until it gained 10 or 15 % of your investment, sold it, and took the profit. You felt pretty good. But you looked back a few days later and saw it had gained even more. It gained 45 or 60 %. And you think to yourself, "I lost all that money! If only I had hodled a little longer."

And now you feel like shit because you are looking at what could've been.

If you want to feel success, only look back to see how far you've come.

Chasing could-have-beens will always lead you to struggle to feel success.

Keep looking forward.

• Change your perspective

• Take the long view

• Look up

• Fail in order to succeed

• Keep looking forward

I truly believe practicing these 5 things helped me to stop struggling to feel success. I stopped arguing with people. I stopped using to convince them I was not a success.

I changed my perspective and stopped comparing myself to others and started comparing myself only to myself.

I learned to resist the need for instant gratification and Brian taking the long view.

I learned to look up to see how close that mountain top was.

I learned to see failure as a stepping stone to success.

I kept my eyes front. I stopped looking at what could have been and started looking forward.

I stopped struggling.

I feel incredibly successful. I am a great success!

Remember, the only time you are truly a failure is when you give up. When you are lying on your deathbed feeling regret at risks not taken. Goals not met because of fear of failure. Paths not taken. Only looking back to see what could've been.

Til next time.

Lead image "The Lighthouse" rock formation in Palo Duro Canyon photo by Jonica Bradley taken March 2014