You Are Struggling For Success. Five Things You Can Do About It.

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Avatar for JonicaBradley
3 years ago
Topics: Prompt, Success

"Wow! What an accomplishment! Some day I'll be successful like you."

"You are so successful! How do you do it?"

"Jonica is a successful blogger. I want to be like that one day."

I hear stuff like this all the time.

I used to argue with people who had the temerity to say I was a success.

Because in my mind, clearly, I was a failure. Clearly, nothing ever turned out the way I wanted it to. Clearly, I was struggling.

I would argue,

"But I could do so much more."

"This piece of artwork is trash."

"I only write fluff or personal essays. I'm not a real writer."

I don't argue anymore. In fact, I don't really struggle too much with the concept that I am successful.

Because I am. I'm a great success!

But I didn't come by this recognition easily. It took a lot of work. It took a few steps. If you apply yourself and use these steps, I'm certain you'll soon stop struggling for success.

Change Your Perspective

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

First of all, I don't actually think you are struggling for success.

I think you are struggling to feel successful.

So, the first step will be to change your perspective. You will have to stop looking out and start looking in.

My aunt and two cousins are artists. My aunt is incredibly successful and has her own art gallery.

You can actually check it out here.

And her daughters, my cousins, are incredibly artistic as well. My cousins, Cindy and Cathy, even had a coloring book published. Check it out here.

Cindy does amazing things with wood, contouring, and smoothing.

And their baby sister, Sara, makes beautiful pieces, welding, and painting. Cindy made a frame for one of Sara's pieces that looked like it grew right out of the art.

And then, there's me. Forever the starving artist. Only selling a few "sell-out" pieces. Never in a gallery. Only painting for myself.

The Crown by Jonica Bradley

Clearly, I was not a success. Right?

But really, I was struggling to feel successful when compared to others who had many benefits I did not. The support of parents, education, and creativity encouraged.

I had none of those things but still managed to learn to paint.

I didn't feel successful because I was comparing myself to others. It wasn't until I changed my perspective and started comparing myself only to myself that I began to feel success.

Take The Long View

Unexpected rain caused my husband's long view to be proven.

Many, too many, of us, feel a need for instant gratification. We don't just want to get rich, we want to get rich quick.

That's why so many in the investing world, in the cryptoverse, have become targets for scams and scammers.

People don't take the long view.

When I first arrived here in the Texas Panhandle, I didn't see a ranch. I saw dirt. And junk. So. Much. Junk.

When my husband was busy building fence, he planned for flooding. He built the fence accordingly. All I saw was drought scorched earth. Flood? Water? A creek? Are you kidding me? But he insisted.

The flooded creek bed my husband was able to see even during a drought.

Of course, he was right. He took the long view. Had he not built the fence with the flood in mind, I would not have been able to stand on that bridge and take the video. The bridge would've washed out when all the trash built up.

Instead, the water was able to flow through.

A few small branches got hung up, but the water kept flowing

That's the next step to feeling success. Take the long view. Don't get hung up on the right now. Don't insist on instant gratification.

My husband waited eleven years to be able to see the positives results of his fence building.

Stop expecting everything to happen right this instant.

When I looked at the plot of dirt we had fenced off and held the seeds in my hand, all I could see was dirt and dried-up seeds. But I planted the seed and watered the dirt. Every day, I watered and weeded. And weeks and weeks later I finally saw a tiny thing I was able to pick and to cook and to eat.

When I planted those seeds I did not expect to get beans that day. Or the next. Or the next after that.

But I took the long view and look what I've been able to gain!

Harvest of zucchini and black-eyed peas.

Even after bringing in baskets full of beans I could not say I was immediately gratified. There was still work to do!

32 ounces of beans. It took about 2 hours to get those beans shelled.

No instant gratification even after I got all the beans. I still had work to do.

Boiling the "black-eyed peas".

And even after I had those beans in a pot boiling on the stove, I still didn't get instantly gratified. I had to wait even longer. A few more hours cooking in the pot is what those beans needed.

What if I had stopped at the dirt and the seed? What if I had given up or stomped off in a huff when the little seed didn't grow immediately?

I wouldn't have a delicious, nutritious meal.

I took the long view. And my mouth and belly are gratified.

Look Up

Top of the mountain Alebates State Park photo by Jonica Bradley, March 2014

That's actually not a statement of positivity although a good attitude never hurts.

Most people see success as a great big moment. A single high note ringing through the air. A chorus of angels singing hallelujah. A scientist shouting Eureka!

In fact, success is made by many little steps. Some steps go forward and some backward. Even three steps forward and two steps back is progress.

Your progress may be as minuscule as Rusty's micro-tips.

Your progress might be a leap forward or just a small stumble.

As you are tiny stepping your way to the mountain of success you have to look up every now and then to see how far you've come.

That mountain peak getting bigger? That's a sign of success. But if you can't see it, you'll never feel it.

So, look up.

Next thing you know, you may be standing on the apex of the mountain looking down on all your hard work. Maybe then the angels will sing. But first, you have to look up.

Fail In Order To Succeed

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

This might seem counterintuitive. Success is, well, succeeding. Isn't it?

I'm sure you've heard the analogies of all the athletes. How many times did they stumble and fall during training before they achieved the gold medal, the world cup, the Superbowl, a knockout in 93 seconds?

How many times did Space-X explode before billionaires traveled to space?

You will only feel successful after you feel failure. Each stumble pushing you forward to greater feats.

I used to say I took more paint off the canvas than I put on it. But was every mis-stroke of my brush a failure? Was every poorly mixed color a failure? If so, each failure led to success.

When I finally put down the brush. When I finally signed the painting and put it on the wall. The success I felt at those times was built on the mistakes and failures I had made on the canvas.

In order to succeed, you must first fail.

Keep Looking Forward

My husband. Taken at the top of the trail, Palo Duro Canyon March 2014

This is the first piece of advice I received as a new investor. It came from my husband. He is a wise man, as you've already read.

He said, "Only look back to see how far you've come. Never look back to see what could've been."

This is the best advice ever!

Seriously.

Think about that shitcoin you bought dirt cheap. You waited until it gained 10 or 15 % of your investment, sold it, and took the profit. You felt pretty good. But you looked back a few days later and saw it had gained even more. It gained 45 or 60 %. And you think to yourself, "I lost all that money! If only I had hodled a little longer."

And now you feel like shit because you are looking at what could've been.

If you want to feel success, only look back to see how far you've come.

Chasing could-have-beens will always lead you to struggle to feel success.

Keep looking forward.

  • Change your perspective

  • Take the long view

  • Look up

  • Fail in order to succeed

  • Keep looking forward

I truly believe practicing these 5 things helped me to stop struggling to feel success. I stopped arguing with people. I stopped using to convince them I was not a success.

I changed my perspective and stopped comparing myself to others and started comparing myself only to myself.

I learned to resist the need for instant gratification and Brian taking the long view.

I learned to look up to see how close that mountain top was.

I learned to see failure as a stepping stone to success.

I kept my eyes front. I stopped looking at what could have been and started looking forward.

I stopped struggling.

I feel incredibly successful. I am a great success!

Remember, the only time you are truly a failure is when you give up. When you are lying on your deathbed feeling regret at risks not taken. Goals not met because of fear of failure. Paths not taken. Only looking back to see what could've been.

Til next time.

Lead image "The Lighthouse" rock formation in Palo Duro Canyon photo by Jonica Bradley taken March 2014

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Avatar for JonicaBradley
3 years ago
Topics: Prompt, Success

Comments

Thank you for this articlr of yours..I was moved by this one actually...We just need to try ..a three letter word that can chnage our life for. the better...Try in order to succeed...Don't be afraid fail.. Nice to meet you ma'am...😊 Just a nebiw passing by ..

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2 years ago

It's indeed a great perspective of success. Thanks! It's really a music to my ears. Now, I, too is excited to share my own story of success.

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3 years ago

Thank you. I can't wait to read it.

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2 years ago

He said, "Only look back to see how far you've come. Never look back to see what could've been."

Wow, such strong words! I was moved honestly. You both are blessed having each other. This article is indeed deep for me. It gave me new wisdom to ponder. Thank you so much for sharing, it's a pleasure to read an article like this especially with my current undertaking. πŸ₯€πŸ’—

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3 years ago

"Our song" you know the one couples have that reminds then of their relationship to each other is You Got Lucky by Tom Petty https://youtu.be/mtLpZWNyM0I (open the video of you are unfamiliar with the song)

Wet both are incredibly lucky to have found each other.

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3 years ago

Thanks for this very informative and inspiring. We have our own definition of Success. Personally, my definition of Success is being with my FAMILY. Not with materials things πŸ’œβ€οΈ

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3 years ago

My definition of success is surviving being with my family! Lol. Except my brothers and some of my cousins. We have fun and it's never a matter of survival.

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3 years ago

This is a beautiful piece and I'm saving it to heart. I love all that you've taken here, it's a resounding note of how far you and your husband have taken success to its next level.

Thank you Jonica for this, you're indeed a great success!

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3 years ago

As are you!

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3 years ago

Hmm a family of artists and painters! I would agree on the list, it's hard to change our perspective, it will took a time but we can overcome it!

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3 years ago

We can. It takes practice. Even I have to practice.

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3 years ago

Ummmmh. We have to fail to succeed. One needs to go through pains before getting the real deal. Thanks for the motivation ma'am. Giving up is not an option.

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3 years ago

And never look back with regret for opportunities missed because of FUD.

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3 years ago

I do not easily give up, so I must not consider myself as failure. This is a motivation Ms. Jonica. Your husband and you really complement each other for both of you persevere.

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3 years ago

We always win "dating" games. Where someone asks question about the other person. We get all the answers right about each other. We've known each other more than half our lives.

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3 years ago

Fall in order to succedd,...best advice ever...and not looking back to what you could've done also...thank you for these piece of advices maam.

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3 years ago

My husband is a wise man and doesn't often get the credit he deserves.

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3 years ago

definitely he is...

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3 years ago

Thanks for this wonderful article miss jonica. It reminded me of so many things I need to ponder. Thanks for sharing your wisdom. It is an enlightment. Keep writing. There are more just like me out there who badly needed your empowering words.

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3 years ago

I am one of the many. I also need to always heed my own advice. Reading all the praise, I am feeling the urge to argue. Just goes to show it takes practice.

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3 years ago

You deserve all the praise πŸ₯°

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3 years ago

And I've got miles to go. Because although I no longer argue with it, praise still feels weird to me.

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3 years ago

This article is lit ❀. Just what I needed right now. Full of wisdom. I think, anyone who would follow this will definitely be successful someday.

"Only look back to see how far you've come. Never look back to see what could've been."

I love that phrase and I am carving to my heart ❀

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3 years ago

I like "this article is lit." Made my day.

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3 years ago

The little have spent on read.cash reading @jonica Bradley article it's has reflected her success as a blogger, this very article pointed out the points needed to follow to attain success

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3 years ago

Thank you.

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3 years ago

This is so empowering! People have this mindset that success is being better than other people!

For me, my own competition is my past progress. If I get better than my previous achievements, then that means I am successful. Love this mindset! The only one that can bring about or hold back my success is myself.

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3 years ago

Exactly.

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3 years ago

These are really wise words. It surely reminded me once again that I am doing okay. I am successful in my own way. Great read!

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3 years ago

Thanks!

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3 years ago

The words you said "Struggling to feel successful" , you are right with this miss jonica. I am in the state of if it before. I am not contented of what I am doing, I am not happy and never appreciate my work. And I always compared myswlf to others before, but when I learn to accep me and compared my old self to my present now, I can say that I made a good improvement. I just need to focus of what really is I wanted to be. πŸ’š Thnk you for thos good morning article you made, it brought a good morning for me to start the day. ☺️

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3 years ago

I'm glad you stopped comparing yourself to others. Comparing my insides to other people's outsides had gotten me in boatloads of trouble.

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3 years ago