Writing Prompt #24: Bad Habits

I'm sitting here on the morning of March 11, 2022, trying to think of something to write. But all I can think about is having a cigarette.

Today is day 3 of not smoking. I am jittery, hungry, and irritable. I have a headache. I have strange pains in my body which my brain is telling me will go away if I just have a single puff of a cigarette.

I knew this would happen. I have successfully quit for 3.5 years in 2013. I had all these same withdrawal symptoms. I knew it would be hard. But knowing something intellectually and going through it physically are two very different things.

Cigarettes are honestly just about all I can think of right now.

So, I got the idea to do another writing prompt.

BAD HABITS

Smoking, for me, started as a fun way to feel included in older girls' groups. In Germany, my soccer coach's daughter taught all of us how to roll and smoke cigarettes in the locker room before and after practice.

When I went to the Ponyhof, a horse camp for kids aged 10 to 14, I learned how to properly inhale.

I don't think smoking became habitual until I was back in the U.S. buying my own and smoking in school. Very quickly the habit became an addiction.

So, here I am at age 53, after having quit all of my previous addictions including hard drugs like heroin, meth, and cocaine, trying to quit smoking. Again.

Originally, I had set a quit date of February 14. I wanted to treat my heart well on the day celebrated with hearts. But, of course, life happened and complicated my plans. My desire to quit was still strong, though so my quit date only got postponed by a little bit.

I used up all of my cigarettes 3 days ago and refuse to buy any more. I did buy some lozenges with nicotine in them to help me through the worst of the withdrawal and to help me break the habit of smoking.

The lozenges are disgusting. But I will continue to use them as necessary. Because they are so nasty, I feel confident I will not replace one bad habit with another.

I have to be very careful this time around to not gain as much weight as I did when I quit in 2013. Back then I allowed myself to gain as much weight as I needed in order to quit smoking. I gained 50 pounds.

I lost a bunch of weight when I started running. But I stopped running when I started working more and eventually began to gain the weight back. Eating is a bad habit I used to quit another bad habit.

So, I have to be very careful this time. I'm still eating a lot, but I'm trying very hard to eat more healthy foods instead of all the bacon and all the chocolate. I'm eating fresh fruit and vegetables and drinking more water.

I am still jonesing for a cigarette.

I am replacing my behavior ( smoking) with other behaviors. I smoked menthol cigarettes, so whenever I really can't stand it I will go brush my teeth. That way I get the minty flavor in my mouth and I am doing something that is hand to mouth.

I do have other bad habits, though. Sugar. Carbs. Especially chocolate and bread. These foods comfort me when I'm stressed. There is a noodle dish I make which is my favorite of all time. It is something my mom made for me when was a very little girl. It reminds me of being cared for and comforted.

The dish is called Tuna Noodle Casserole. Only my mom never put it in the oven. She just boiled a pot of noodles, added cream of mushroom soup, a can of tuna, and a little cheese.

It is slimy and warm and comforting. I could eat a whole pot of it by myself!!

I won't, but I could.

What are some of your bad habits? Have you been able to stop them? Are any of your habits so strong they could be labeled addictions?

Tell us all about it!

If you would like to participate in this writing prompt, please follow these very simple rules.

1. Join the Promptly Jonica community here

2. Write anything about bad habits

3. Write 100% original content

4. Submit your article to PromptlyJonica

5. Tag me, @JonicaBradley

6. Have fun!

Don't forget: there are no time limits! You can write any prompt and time as many times as you like forever. Please find links to all the writing prompts, including this one, here:https://read.cash/@JonicaBradley/the-promptlyjonica-writing-prompts-linked-in-order-5a576c94.

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