Fantasizing Death

Death...

One word, five letters, but with deeper meaning...

Scary, yet fascinating...

What exactly do you mean when you say "death"? Was that the end of the world as we knew it? Was that the end of our existence on this planet? What do you suppose happens when we die? Will we be buried six feet under, or will we be burned to ashes and scattered throughout a certain place? Which would you choose if you were about to die?

Are you scared of death?

Am I the only one who does this? daydreaming or fantasizing about what my death scenario is. It is so weird, but I just couldn't stop it. It suddenly pops up in my mind out of nowhere, and sometimes I even dream about it. It's not normal, I know, and maybe what you think right now is that I need to seek guidance and maybe need to see a therapist.

I've been in a state of depression where everything seems so blank and plain and I can no longer find the light through it. Nonetheless, I still manage to find a way to get away with it. As I stated in ate @Bloghound 's article (’m sorry for the sudden mention.) I'm not the type of person who enjoys sharing and conversing with others about how I feel and what my feelings are. I've gotten used to it already, and I just keep it with myself, and I'm good with it. Even though I'm on the verge of breaking down, I won't tell other people. I'm okay with telling and sharing strangers my problems with because they don't even know me personally, so I'm good with it.

To tell you honestly, I have suicidal thoughts and I have done it occasionally before. Suicidal thoughts keep running through my head every night, but I won't get to the point where I do such a horrific thing. I won't. I'm not going to do it. I haven't done such an idiotic thing in my life even though I keep on having suicidal thoughts. But what's disturbing is that I keep on fantasizing about what my death scenario is.

It always comes up in my mind, no matter where I go. It always appears whether traveling, sleeping, or even in a non-serious matter. For instance, let's say I'm on the bus and suddenly it occurs to me what may potentially go wrong on our route to our destination. I'm not sure how I'm going to end myself in that situation. What would be the most dreadful scenario that might take place?

I don't know if this is a curse or what, but maybe I was cursed with this. Remember what I stated in my article a couple of months ago? All That I Want Is To Wake Up Fine When every time I dream of something, I always end up dying, which is the most stupid thing a person could dream of. I am the main character in my dreams but always end up getting killed.

Fantasizing death occasionally is not okay at all, and there may be something wrong with you or us, rather. I was born and raised in a religious family, but I myself am not that religious, but that doesn't mean that I don't believe the same things that others do. I do believe that, but I just keep everything myself.

I thought this would just end as I grew older, but I guess it's still in my head. But unlike before, where it always appeared in my mind every time. But today, it still appears from time to time, but not the same as before, to the point that it makes me feel so uncomfortable. 

I hope you guys aren't the same as me because it's literally uncomfortable and it would ruin your mood.

Lead Image

Related Articles that you might like:

Demons Under My Bed

All That I Want Is To Wake Up Fine

Jini's Note:

Hey, there. Aloha! Como Estas? How's it going? I hope you guys had a happy Saturday.

Thank you for passing by and spending a minute of your time reading this article of mine. Thank you for always leaving some upvotes, likes and comments. I truly appreciate all your presence here.

You can always hit the Like and Subscribe buttons if you want to.

Take care and stay safe always.

Arigathankyougozaimuch :>

02701102021