Fantasizing Death

22 45
Avatar for Jinifer
2 years ago

Death...

One word, five letters, but with deeper meaning...

Scary, yet fascinating...

What exactly do you mean when you say "death"? Was that the end of the world as we knew it? Was that the end of our existence on this planet? What do you suppose happens when we die? Will we be buried six feet under, or will we be burned to ashes and scattered throughout a certain place? Which would you choose if you were about to die?

Are you scared of death?


Am I the only one who does this? daydreaming or fantasizing about what my death scenario is. It is so weird, but I just couldn't stop it. It suddenly pops up in my mind out of nowhere, and sometimes I even dream about it. It's not normal, I know, and maybe what you think right now is that I need to seek guidance and maybe need to see a therapist.

I've been in a state of depression where everything seems so blank and plain and I can no longer find the light through it. Nonetheless, I still manage to find a way to get away with it. As I stated in ate @Bloghound 's article (’m sorry for the sudden mention.) I'm not the type of person who enjoys sharing and conversing with others about how I feel and what my feelings are. I've gotten used to it already, and I just keep it with myself, and I'm good with it. Even though I'm on the verge of breaking down, I won't tell other people. I'm okay with telling and sharing strangers my problems with because they don't even know me personally, so I'm good with it.

To tell you honestly, I have suicidal thoughts and I have done it occasionally before. Suicidal thoughts keep running through my head every night, but I won't get to the point where I do such a horrific thing. I won't. I'm not going to do it. I haven't done such an idiotic thing in my life even though I keep on having suicidal thoughts. But what's disturbing is that I keep on fantasizing about what my death scenario is.

It always comes up in my mind, no matter where I go. It always appears whether traveling, sleeping, or even in a non-serious matter. For instance, let's say I'm on the bus and suddenly it occurs to me what may potentially go wrong on our route to our destination. I'm not sure how I'm going to end myself in that situation. What would be the most dreadful scenario that might take place?

I don't know if this is a curse or what, but maybe I was cursed with this. Remember what I stated in my article a couple of months ago? All That I Want Is To Wake Up Fine When every time I dream of something, I always end up dying, which is the most stupid thing a person could dream of. I am the main character in my dreams but always end up getting killed.

Fantasizing death occasionally is not okay at all, and there may be something wrong with you or us, rather. I was born and raised in a religious family, but I myself am not that religious, but that doesn't mean that I don't believe the same things that others do. I do believe that, but I just keep everything myself.

I thought this would just end as I grew older, but I guess it's still in my head. But unlike before, where it always appeared in my mind every time. But today, it still appears from time to time, but not the same as before, to the point that it makes me feel so uncomfortable.Β 

I hope you guys aren't the same as me because it's literally uncomfortable and it would ruin your mood.


Lead Image

Related Articles that you might like:

Demons Under My Bed

All That I Want Is To Wake Up Fine


Jini's Note:

Hey, there. Aloha! Como Estas? How's it going? I hope you guys had a happy Saturday.

Thank you for passing by and spending a minute of your time reading this article of mine. Thank you for always leaving some upvotes, likes and comments. I truly appreciate all your presence here.

You can always hit the Like and Subscribe buttons if you want to.

Take care and stay safe always.

Arigathankyougozaimuch :>

02701102021

17
$ 10.85
$ 10.36 from @TheRandomRewarder
$ 0.10 from @Bloghound
$ 0.10 from @Codename_Chikakiku
+ 9
Sponsors of Jinifer
empty
empty
empty
Avatar for Jinifer
2 years ago

Comments

Gawain ko yan, minsan nga morbid pa naiisip ko or madugo ba. Kala ko ako lang gumagawa may karamay pala iz me. Ganito talaga ata pag walang ibang kausap sa bahay kung saan saan naglalakbay ang isip ba

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Actually I'm also daydreaming about deaths, what I mean is potential deaths, for an instance I was walking on a highway, suddenly lots of scenarios will come on my mind on how I can die that's why I can immediately keep myself apart from those possible deaths. It's still advantageous for me but you said your depress right and it's not okay to keep it by yourself, you need to meet therapist so that your well being will back to its original state but if you don't like to deal on therapy then you can open up yourself to others so that you can release the pain inside your heart.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

thank you, I really appreciate all your kind words chikuu but I'm fine now, that was before and I'm completely fine now.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I'm not afraid to die but I'm also afraid when I die because who's the one who will take good care of my son.

$ 0.00
User's avatar Yen
2 years ago

I fear of dying not because I fear death. I don't want to leave my daughter so young,

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Same vibes mommy 😭

$ 0.00
User's avatar Yen
2 years ago

Sis I love thinking also about death like pano ako mamamatay o ano, di weird peeo parang weird πŸ˜…

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Maybe a little change in your perspective on death might make you think less. Billions of people have lost their lives to date, time is ticking and people are changing. Whatever happened to them until now, will happen to us. Some things should remain a mystery until the last moment, I focus on living the day instead of thinking about death.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I swear, it suddenly appears in my head even though I was preoccupied with other things. It just suddenly appear out of nowhere

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I am afraid of dying without leaving my mark on the world. Knowing that I will eventually be forgotten terrifies me.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hugti ang pag ampo dae ,di ta pasagdan ni GodπŸ™

$ 0.00
2 years ago

tama gyud ate

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I have suicidal thoughts as well and it keeps on coming ang going..in fact, the article I have written today that will be posted tomorrow is depressing

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I've never been killed in my dreams especially once I realise it's a dream, I become in charge and things end up my way. According to @BCH_genisis below; I guess you need to pray and ask for guidance.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

it happens every time, I am aware that it's a dream but I always end up getting killed

$ 0.00
2 years ago

You need my white knight to save your damsel in distress.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I've also experiencing suicidal thoughts Ate pero ginalabanan nako. Every dawn nako ginabati ning ing ani. But by God's Grace walay nahitabo saakua na dautan. Always Pray to God lang te and ask for His guidance.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

yes dong, I do have suicidal thoughts pero never pagyud ko naabot sa point na mag buhat og dautan

$ 0.00
2 years ago

We are covered in God's Precious Blood AteπŸ™

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yung biglang maisip mo na lang sis nuh. May mga ganun talaga sis at tawagin mo talaga si God agad.πŸ™ Kailangan mo din i- divert mo yung mind mo sa ibang mga bagay sis, yung mapapaisip ka sa ibang bagay. Pilitin mo sis. Minsan kasi sa stress yan especially kung ikaw lang mag isa kaya kailangan talaga may mga bagay na magpapaaliw sis. Prayer is always.πŸ™

$ 0.00
2 years ago

mao gani primi ko mag tanaw og anime or mag basa basa og manga para dili ko maka huna huna og mga hing ani, kay lain gyud kaayo sa feeling, mo lakit lang siyag appear sa ako huna huna

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Mao gayud langga. Naa gayud time in ana. Usahay inana sad ko. Aho gayud i-divert dayon ahong hunahuna kay mukalit lang siya. Tawgon gayud nako dayon si God.

$ 0.00
2 years ago