Strict swimming - a month later

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Written by
2 years ago

A month ago, I wrote about a situation that bothered me. I enrolled my five-year-old son in swimming lessons, in order to relax him in the water and get rid of fear, but there were difficulties because the instructor was very strict and instead of getting rid of fear, the fear became greater and brought some consequences that I will write about today. If you would like to read my previous article about this situation to make the story clearer, you can access the article via the following link.

https://read.cash/@Jelena/strict-swimming-3d74eb03

When I published that article I got a lot of good advice from you. We all agreed that swimming is a very good and beneficial activity and that my son should continue with swimming lessons. But we also agreed that maybe the instructor should be changed. I planned to listen to you but I decided to talk to the instructor first and ask him to have a slightly more relaxed approach and not give up right away, and if nothing changes after the conversation, look for another swimming school.

That was the moment I made a mistake. I should have listened to you right away, so that bad consequences would not happen.

@Kleah97 gave me excellent pedagogical advice. I needed to pay a little more attention to my son's feelings and not insist on continuing classes where he felt traumatized.

@Librarian also advised me to change instructor or wait for some time to pass and continue swimming lessons when my son was ready. The teaching method has caused trauma, which is now difficult to resolve.

I talked to the instructor and she promised to be a little more relaxed with my son. But during the next swimming class, she started putting pressure on him again and asking him to do something he wasn't ready for. She told me that my son was spoiled and that I could see other children listening and doing what she tells them. The other children were really obedient, no one cried and that made me think that maybe she was right and that my son should not behave like that. If everyone can, why can't he. But that was wrong. Not all children are the same.

My son cried all the time in the pool. The instructor yelled at him, threw him into the water. He was diving, and when he surfaced, he screamed in fear. It was very hard for me to watch him. I was supposed to interrupt the class right away, but I didn't do it. He drank half the water in the pool. I waited patiently for the class to end, but I was sure that after this we would definitely change the instructor and the swimming school. I do not like to take the line of least resistance and that is why I was persistent, but I was wrong here.

When my son was three years old he had a problem with stuttering. This often happens to children at that age and was not considered a problem but a stage of child development that will pass. It especially happens to children who are intelligent and have a lot to say, and the speech apparatus is not sufficiently developed. My son's thoughts work faster than his speaking abilities and he was advised to swim because it is a relaxing, healthy activity that would help him learn to breathe properly and pronounce words more easily. But after these stressful swimming lessons, the opposite happened. The speech problem has gotten worse and he now has long pauses in silence before pronouncing a word. Developmental stuttering has turned into a serious speech disorder, which we are now trying to solve by going to treatment with a speech therapist. We unfortunately replaced swimming lessons with speech therapists lessons.

Closing thoughts

I have shared my experience to remind you that it is very important to always be aware of the needs and abilities of your child. Every child develops in own unique way and should never be compared to others or forced to do something that is required in accordance with the norms of the society in which we live. I made a mistake, and every mistake can have consequences. In this case, the consequences are worse than I could have expected.

My son now doesn't want to go to swimming lessons anywhere. He doesn't even want to go to the pool. But he likes to watch others swim and fantasize about how he will learn one day, which is a good sign that all is not lost and that he may eventually forget the trauma.

I have learned to respect his wishes, needs and decisions. Trust your children. They seem to know best what is best for them.

Thank you very much for reading.

Article and photo are original and mine.

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2 years ago

Comments

I can understand this situation.. actually your son can do it but it takes time, there is an important thing to be a solution to the problem here is that your son must get used to it, meaning that something that is not used to it will not be integrated into our lives. get him used to always in the pool but don't force him to swim, your child is still small he needs guidance..I'm sure he can, indeed all children have different characters but as long as he can be in the water he can definitely do it. get used to him.. sorry for this advice..

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Thanks for good advice. You said everything well. I won't force him anymore. Now it is only important to get rid of the trauma.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

A mother has to think of many things for her child. A mother always thinks of the best for her child. That's exactly what you're doing right now. Good luck with your beautiful family. Best of luck.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Thank you so much Mazekin. I hope I made a good decision.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I hope that he learns soon. Apparantly my great grandfather was taught to swim on his own. His father took him in a rowing boat out to deep water then threw him overboard and he had to swim or drown!

$ 0.01
2 years ago

My son's instructor is like father of your great grandfather. 😊 And she threw him, he swam out but he screamed in fear and drank a lot of water. And I hope he learns. We will continue in another school, I will not give up because if I give up, only trauma will remain.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

yes you need to get rid of trauma, it is a case of finding an instructor who suits the way your son learns.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

That swimming instructor is so harsh! Why would she ever do that to a child? I feel so sorry about your son Jelena, hope he gets better soon. Sending virtual hugs.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Thanks for support. She exaggerates, I don't know why she has such a method, but she is very successful in her work and everyone comes to her classes through a recommendation. I hope my son forgets the trauma.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

There are people who loves something very much but they don't want to try it. And that's okay, maybe he's fear of the water and that he was amazed of other people. Don't worry, he's still a young kid. He'll grow and will explore his abilities

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Yes, that's true. I didn't want swimming to turn into trauma because it's a great activity but when he grows up I hope it will change as you say.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Every child has their own potential and uniqueness, it is really good that we need to push them to do everything but if they are afraid of doing any particular thing then maybe we should stop forcing them. Not all children is meant for everything, maybe he doesn't like swimming but he is excellent in other activities so I think you should try to suggest him another sport or passion to relax his mind.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Yes,he has to relax, that's for sure. He actually loves swimming but is scared, and now that fear has become even greater. I hope that in time he will get rid of the trauma.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Sometimes we are told that our children are spoiled just because they can't be like everyone else. My son went through those things but I believed him. Today he is a blessed son who overcame his difficulties because I listened to him.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Yes, we must always support our children and encourage them. I am glad that you managed to be a real support to your son. I'm sure he's as proud of you as you are of him.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

It wasn't easy my friend, I also received a lot of rejection from people saying he this and he that. But he was a different child and now he is a different adult of whom I am very proud. You will also be an excellent mother because you are seeing what I saw in my son and I didn't let myself get carried away by them.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

You are a good mother Jeli. You are a protective guardian too. I respect your decisions & admire your choices. Stay blessed with family.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Thanks Luci. I hope I am a good mother.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Hope? No dear. You are definitely a good mother.

$ 0.01
2 years ago