When should you give up?

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4 years ago

How do you know if it's the right time to give up on a certain circumstance?

This is in particular to toxic relationships. Most especially in marriage.

A friend shared her experience to me about the status of her marriage.

She got pregnant at a young so they had to get married. Years went by, she noticed that her husband has become so addicted to alcohol.

Since then, it has been a chaotic environment inside the house. They always fight, and misunderstandings always lead to make up sex without fixing the main issue and so the cycle goes on and on, and even got worse as physical abuse is already involved.

They already have 3 children and it has been tough to her, for crying out loud.

This has always been her problem for years. So I asked her, "why don't you just give up and let go of him? It must have so hard for you. You deserve happiness and peace."

She wanted to save the marriage for her children. She gave him a second chance but all she saw was just a fake repentance. He was not sincere at all of redeeming himself.

So she decided to leave together with her children and part ways.

Failed marriage is one of the reasons why children become rebellious growing up because of the lack of guidance of both parents. It plays a huge impact of a child's development as a whole.

A complete family would be an ideal image of anyone in life. However, sometimes it is better to give up, and to let go of the toxicity.

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Comments

when to give up nga ba?ang hirap talaga ng ganitong sitwasyon but if the relationship is not healthy anymore you really need to let it go..

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4 years ago

Exactly. This pretty much sums up my article. If it's too much to handle and it's like a one-sided relationship already then it's time to let go πŸ’”

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4 years ago

I feel so sorry for your friend. I also got married at a young age for an unexpected pregnancy 2years only after my debut,blessed that my husband is not like that. It was a wise decision for her to leave him,yes they suppose to create and build a strong bond within a family it was one of their responsibility when they became a parents but all things wont work if its only one sided. It was just right for your friend to leave,maybe that decision would be an eye opener for her husband and completely change.

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4 years ago

Good thing it was a happy ending for you. Well for my friend's situation, I really hope so. She gave him a chance but he took it for granted. It would be ideal to have a complete family but it's not the case for them. πŸ˜”

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4 years ago

But who knows,he will change for real and they eventually will have a chance to start again. Its not yet too late for anyone,they have their kids. Lets just hope for the better. And if it really wont happen somehow she will surely find someone who will truly love her and her kids.

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4 years ago

Exactly. That's what I thought of too. If it doesn't really work for them, then there's someone out there who's genuine enough to take care of the family. ☺️

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4 years ago

Yes thats right,she just have to wait for the right one if it wasnt her husband.

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4 years ago

There are cases that finding a husband isn't necessary as they are contented living with themselves. I think that would apply to my friend's situation. She's not up for dating once again eh. She's focused on her kids πŸ˜…

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4 years ago

Sabagay naman..Her kids can take care of her when she gets old. Thats so nice of her really putting all her attention to her kids.

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4 years ago

I knoooow. It's the sweetest thing ever 😍

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4 years ago

Wow realy great writing. children. She gave him a second chance but all she saw was just a fake repentance...

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4 years ago

Thank you so much. Yeah, it was a fake repentance so it has to end.

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4 years ago

But very beautifull. storyy

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4 years ago

Thanks ☺️

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4 years ago

Its ok

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4 years ago

Wow nice! Good Job!

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4 years ago

Hey, thanks! 🀭

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4 years ago

yeah you're right po. there is a time to let go and give up. most of the time of our life is also necessary to us to let go someone and the bad feelings from others. the marriage is ruin because of not giving importance of courtship. nowadays many filipinos don't do the traditional courtship just love each other then go in wrong relationship. that was sad reality now a day.

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4 years ago

That is so true. Courtship stage is where you get to know each other's personalities but because teenagers nowadays are easily driven by infatuation and impulsive emotions, they have taken themselves a wrong path which lead them to a toxic relationship. πŸ˜”

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4 years ago

yes po that's true. the sad reality nowadays.

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4 years ago

She did what's best for her children, growing up with a toxic father is worse than growing up without one. she deserves someone that would love and appreciate her and also take good care of her children, it's better to wait and find that person than to suffer in silence, alcoholism always leads to domestic abuse, she is better of without him.

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4 years ago

Exactly. It was not a quick decision she has made because she gave him a chance to chance just to save the marriage, but it was all a show. She really deserves someone else or maybe not, just her with their children. A lot of moms out there don't require a man to take care of everything. Being together with themselves is enough.

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4 years ago

I hope she find happiness one day.

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4 years ago

I really hope so.

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4 years ago

It's the best for them, because if that continues it might become a problem to their children. It will give the children a hard time focusing. The most affected is their children.

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4 years ago

It would affect their mental health badly! Her decision is the right thing for the children.

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4 years ago

You're definitely right. They're the ones affected the most and their mental health should be on watch after all they've been through.

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4 years ago

Yes, because they were still kids and maybe can give a bad result on them in the future.

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4 years ago

I agree. I would consider it as a prevention to the possible outcomes if they held on longer.

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4 years ago

She sid the eight thing. What would lead to a rebellious child isn't honestly a broken family but all the fighting the parents had tgat the children saw. They'll think that since it's okay on the parent's part then it doesn't matter if they do it too. I mope she can help her children understand the situation

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4 years ago

I really hope so. Children's personality also reflect on the parenting style of the parents and so it will be very evident for the children to behave the same way as how their parents were when they become one someday.

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4 years ago

Well that can still change but childen from single parent families really have it harder than most children from good families. The children your friend has will be lucky if they can meet other relatives on a regular basis though, it will help a lot in telling them about their situation

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4 years ago

True enough, they have a healthy relationship on their grandparents and uncles and titas (my friend's side) so that's a factor to somehow let them know they're not alone and reassure them they will always be there to protect them.

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4 years ago

I hope that good relationship is maintained until they get older because it would really help out the children. They'll need that assurance on a continuous level since no dad. That's how i survived a no dad set up πŸ˜‚

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4 years ago

Yup. I know your comments are on a personal basis and I would salute to your mom for being so strong all the way through. It must have been a tough one for her.

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4 years ago

Yeah, mom was amazing but so stressful half the time because the naghing intensified 10 fold after dad left πŸ˜‚ hope those kids will understand why their mom nags so much too

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4 years ago

It would be so hard at first but soon they'll know eventually ☺️

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4 years ago

Eventually being like a few years or so πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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4 years ago

Or even longer. It's gonna be a long ride πŸ˜…

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4 years ago

Oof well i hope your friend manages. Please send her my best regards ;;-;;

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4 years ago

Will do. Hehe ☺️

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4 years ago

.. Yes we think of our children and the result of a broken family. But sometimes enduring pain for a long time without gaining result is useless. Its time to retreat and better to stay away from that person whom you thought to be your partner in life but its the contrary😊. I also knew one friend.,but still she's fighting til now.

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4 years ago

Well, I hope the best for her. Everyone is entitled to be happy and I wish time comes she'll able to face the turning point of letting go.

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4 years ago

We should all put in mind that the sake of our children is more important than any other thing. I mean, it should not only revolved on the logic of 'i dont want to let go of husband because my son will loss a father.' Like, you should also think of their emotional health and well being. Is that healthy for them to see you fighting all over again?

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4 years ago

If she did not leave he would start abusing her and the children when he is drunk, that's worse than not having a father present.

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4 years ago

That is true. It creates a huge impact of the mental health of the children. The children are the main victims on this situations. Parents should be conscious and be matured to handle things accordingly.

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4 years ago

Letting go, is a healing, from being stubborn, to make it work, at all costs.

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4 years ago

Letting go is very hard, very very hard, but soooo worth it. peace of mind is worth the pain of letting go.

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4 years ago

That is true. Sometimes holding on is more painful than letting go.

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4 years ago

I agree with your friend. Same with my past relationship we separated for the best. And luckily he didn't forget and abandoned our daughter.

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4 years ago

I'm happy with the decision you made. The best is yet to come and so your decision made the first step of achieving it. ☺️

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4 years ago

Yes. Right now Im happy living with my 2nd family...

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4 years ago

Yes! Way to go. β™₯️🀟

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4 years ago