The Deeper Meaning of Gratitude

June has not been friendly to the family. We still got a long way to go but really hoping for a better and healthy month (July) ahead. Besides, I'm still looking forward to what tomorrow brings to us.

When I was younger, I was too ideal of my wants. What I want to become, how many cars should I have, how big my house will be, how rich should I be in the future.

Having said that, I have these things that made me realized something and brought me to a different dimension of perception.

I wished we had a computer set

When I was little, I used to play with my cousins in their homes. Whenever I spend my vacation in their city, I always get excited to sleep in their house because of their computer. Silly, right?

When I first laid my hands on their computer, I felt nervous but excited at the same time. That's when I learned to play The Sims 1. If you know this game then that defines how old you are now, we can be the best of buddies too.

Growing up, I was filled with insecurities to myself. I questioned why I don't have such things while my cousins are living a comfortable life.

I wished I was smart

I grew up in a very competitive childhood. My uncle would let us (3 cousins) stand from afar next to each other for a Math quiz. He would let us solve Math mentally and it takes a lot of pressure.

As children who are very competitive, we make sure we do out very best to win the challenge. We love competing against each other. Somehow, I could feel the tension when someone wins in a row and the others get pressured to keep up.

When school cards are released after every grading period, my uncle would look at our grades and buy it. For example, each line of 9 grade will be equivalent to 50 pesos.

If you have a total of 9 subjects and you have all 90 and up grades, that makes a total of 450 pesos or $9. 450 pesos is already huge back in the early 2000s. You can buy a high quality stuff toy for that.

Good thing my teachers back in my grade school saw my capabilities somehow.

I wished we were rich

This is related to my previous article. When I was a kid, I blamed my father for not having a degree. If he has achieved something in education, our life would not be the way we have today.

Then again, I realized that if my father was able to graduate in high school or college, my parents wouldn't have met and I wouldn't be here as to where am I now. I may be still me, but I strongly believe that I might have a different personality.

My father instilled respect in our souls. He taught us to be respectful because everyone deserves to be respected no matter how poor or rich a human could be.

I could have enrolled myself in my desired course

When I graduated in high school, I've always wanted to become someone working in a medical field. I wanted to study Pharmacy, that was my first choice and then Nursing. However, both of these courses had very high tuition fees. My parents could not afford to send me to those prestigious schools.

So I ended up choosing the course which I was able to finish to. Barely.

Then again, I have realized that God arranged me for what I have become now. I'm still uncertain of what should I be in the future but the major aspect that transformed me into a better person is that,

I learned to be grateful. Gratitude comes with contentment.

I realized that God has blessed me with so much. Then there's me keep on asking for more without even feeling of gratitude.

He shaped me for who I am today and I'm very grateful that he didn't give up on me.