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I Forgive My Parents For These Reasons

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Written by   483
2 months ago

Growing up, I would say that there are so many untold feelings or expressions I have with my parents especially during my teenage years. What I have witnessed how they raised me and my sister was for us, kind of strict and scary. As a result, we feel distant to them.

However, now that I'm already a grownup, as I look back on those memories, it opens my mind of why our parents were like that. To tell you the truth, we were never close with our parents. They were disciplinarians. I grew up being scared to them. I just thought, they did that because of our welfare and true enough, it is.

When that tragedy happened into my life, I'd say that it became the reason why the family got closer and intimate. If before, we were distant and not expressive with ourselves, now is entirely a different vibe. Entering the parenthood phase is never easy, I supposed.

And for that reason, I wanna forgive my parents for:

Raising us through their own unresolved trauma

Mama had me when she was 24. Papa was 25. Though they were already around a good age to get married but I believe it truly became a life changing moment for them when they found out about me. They were still young by then and at that time, it was very difficult.

They must have gone through a lot but I'm grateful for them choosing to have me. I mean, at that moment when they found out about me, they can get rid of me anytime but they didn't and I must say, they have been great parents to us. Even though we were distant from each other but I felt that they have equipped us with good morals and values growing up.

Raising us through their own struggles, pain and fears on

I know they have their own struggles during my childhood that I didn't understand. I remember one time I saw mama took out the Pyrex container from our divider. I didn't really understand where they would take them to before but now, it made sense to me. They took them to the pawnshop for a mortgage.

These things that a child doesn't understand makes me helpless at that time. But I guess, being good daughters to them means so much already for them. We were obedient, we perform well in school, and we respect everyone.

Following certain cultural norms that they were surrounded with

Cultural norms and traditions before are too strong to handle. Our grandparents are avid advocates of Catholic and Filipino traditions. Well, I can't blame them, they grew up having those intense traditions that would judge a person if you don't follow them.

Mama wanted to become an engineer but grandpa didn't allow her to because engineering course are for men only. Grandpa chose Education as her course because that suits women. Even so, mama still did well in school and graduated.

Although I would say that today, we are slowly carrying our own stand and not follow traditions we used to before. I salute mama for being so open-minded about new norms in today's generation that boomers would never dare to understand.

Papa is still old-fashioned. He carries his traditions and norms in his name especially with his stand on LGBT community. It's rare to have dads who are open-minded to inclusivity when it comes to gender preferences.


Writing this article gave me time to reflect and look back on what we've been through in our relationships as daughters and parents. They were not perfect parents, they have shortcomings too but what matters most is that they choose to be with us no matter what.

I can feel that mama is making up to us about the distant relationship we have back in our childhood days. Now that we're grownups, we have become more comfortable to share our thoughts with and exchange viewpoints about life in general.

The quality conversations I have with my family is precious and monumental for me.


Thanks for reading.

Keep safe everyone!

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Written by   483
2 months ago
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Comments

I owe my parents for making me who I am today. They believed in me and paying them all the things they invested in me makes it worth it. This is a great article ate, and it makes me reflect on the things that my parents endure just to give the best of what I can be. God bless Ate!

$ 0.01
2 months ago

I agree with you too Lyn, I owe them a lot. There may be circumstances that I don't like for what they did but for sure they have great intentions naman.

Thanks Lyn, God bless you too ♥️

$ 0.00
2 months ago

Truthfully, Mama had me when she's just 15 & gave birth months after she turned 16. Imagine, she should be enjoying her youth but then, it didn't happen. Like you, they can easily get rid of me too coz they're too young to be a parents. But, they didn't. Despite of the intense struggles, they fought every single challenges for me, us. And now, we're slowly having the life that all of us were dreaming to have. Shortcomings are still present but we'll get everything through. ✨

$ 0.01
2 months ago

I have always loved your courage, Mae. You are definitely a gem worth keeping because of your personality. ♥️

I didn't know your mom is a teenage mom Mae? Ikaw ang panganay diba? Ilan sibs mo?

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2 months ago

The journey made me like this, Ate. They taught me of so many things that cannot be discussed inside the room. And, I'm so willing to take every lessons of it. ✨

Hihi, yes, Ate. I'm a product of teenage pregnancy, though I don't promote it kasi mostly sa kabataan ngayon ay di talaga ready. Bale 3 kami, ako 'yung eldest. Followed by 18 years old & 12.

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2 months ago

honestly our parents will do anything for us to raise in a good way, for me it is hard to accept when our parents are not treat in a good way but still at the end of the day our parents is first and last to make feel the love to us

$ 0.01
2 months ago

I agree with you but sometimes it causes misunderstanding and it deepens to something painful that forms into an unresolved issue within themselves. It's sad :(

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2 months ago

Aigoooo still hoping na magkaroon kami ng reconciliation ng mom ko, sobrang toxic kasi niya eh. feeling ko may unresolved traumas rin sya. But it's good to know okay nmn kau ni mother mo? no hard feelings naman ate?

$ 0.01
2 months ago

Ay, no hard feelings naman dee. I totally understand why they did that to us. It shaped our characters din eh.

Hoping for the best in your family dee. ♥️

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2 months ago

Yung mga parents ko madam close ko lalo na mom ko since bata pa ako nasa tabi lang siya sa amin always. Si papa ko nag work na since bata pa ako. Minsan lang siya nagbabakasyon.

$ 0.01
2 months ago

Pero wala namang conflict sa inyo madam? Like mga past issues or grudges ba. Hehe

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2 months ago

Wala naman madam close ko parin papa ko. Hehe kamukha ko siya madam. Hehe girl version ako ng papa ko. 😁

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2 months ago

Aw, gwapo kaayo sya madam. Haha

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2 months ago

Hehe alegre c.e ka madam.

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2 months ago

Ako din madam ndi ako close sa mother ko, ang taray nya kasi before, then ngaun parang ako din ang taray ko kay Adrielle😀

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2 months ago

Hehe, wag mo dalhin ang grudges mo sa anak mo madam. Kids remember, they have core memories in their childhood days so equip her with good ones 😁

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2 months ago

Ndi ko naman dinadala ung grudges madam, nakikita ko lng sa sarili ko ang nanay ko dati nung bata pa kami, minsan naman iniiwasan ko kaso may tume tlga na sobra ang katarayan ko pati kay Adrielle napapapunta

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2 months ago

Me too, we were never close with our parents especially to my father, but now, things changed. It takes a lot of circumstances and struggles to pass, before achieving an intimate relation ship with our parents.

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2 months ago

Agree jud ko ana madam. Kanang mga kalisod ang nag test sa family og maoy nahimong reason nga nasuod ang relationship one another.

$ 0.00
2 months ago