How To Control Your Temper Before It Controls You?

This topic is something that I have had in mind for quite a while now and it's not an easy topic to deal with. It is a serious matter we should recognize where these temper problems are coming from?

Are you temperamental like me? Like your mood shifts from one to another erratically? Honestly, I am more temperamental especially when my period is on its way and I believe that's normal for women like me because we are currently dealing with hormonal imbalances or changes.

And so when this happens, I tend to say words that I don't really mean and will regret after. That is when my emotions take over. So how do we control our temper before they control us? It's really tough. They usually set their places firsts and it's hard for us to maneuver and reverse engineer the situation.

Anger management is something I am always struggling with but not every day though. Usually, it happens when my period is on its way but if you're going to think of it happens monthly so I guess it still happens often? Nevertheless, it should be managed from time to time.

How do we manage our anger?

Acknowledge that you have anger issues.

Where do these anger issues come from?

The first step to anger management is to acknowledge that we have anger issues. When I was in my early 20s, I was kind of just laid back and easy-going. Probably because I was younger and all I could think of is to work for myself and establish a good career, and if blessed to have extras, provide for the needs of my family.

Then now that I am on my middle 20s, the pressure is kicking in to add up for the failures I have gone through for the past years. Seeing my schoolmates and friends establishing sustainable and stable careers, makes me want to look at myself and ask "how about you? Are you living the life you wanted it to be?".

That question struck me and it hit me hard. It was a moment full of reflections and doubts if I could still bounce back from this moment on. It dictated my mood, I became so irritable and short-tempered. Handling these anger issues is tough and I acknowledge that this behavior will serve me no good.

I had to listen to the people around me as well because most of the time, we are unaware of our behaviors and it is they who witness how we react to certain circumstances. My sister told me right on my face that I have anger issues because I get stressed right away when I don't get the things I want. And that's bad. So bad.

Practice breathing techniques.

I have shared this numerous times already into my articles but at least I have been practicing this for a while now. I actually have a plan of getting it tattooed on my forearm to constantly remind me whenever I'll be in trouble.

I want to have a tattoo on my forearm with these statements "gratitude" and "IV-VII-VIII" that stands for 4-7-8 breathing technique to keep me going. That's how I badly need to remind myself over and over again because I am always tested with negativity and I get stressed out and it leads to anger management problems.

Do you like to get tattoos as well?

This is my way of sending signals to my brain that "hey brain, chill. You need to relax, there might be something wrong going on but we're fine. Gather your senses back". Mind conditioning, I should say.

Remind yourself to be grateful.

Sometimes when negativity kicks in, I tend to focus on it and my day gets affected throughout. It dictates my mood and I'm not the best person to talk with in the meantime because I might say words that I'll regret soon.

That's why I tend to walk away and isolate myself from people and remind myself to be grateful with the things I have and just focus on the blessings. Let's look life in a perspective of gratitude and not an entitlement. That way, we will instill a sense of humility in ourselves that in spite of the things that stress us out that lead us to anger issues, there are still things to be grateful for and that is where we should look into as always.

These things that I enumerated are nothing when we don't put them into action. Let's help ourselves beat anger issues and not let everything get in our ways. One by one, it'll provide us with small solutions that could to something permanent that we will forever treasure.

Lead image source

Thanks for reading.

Keep safe everyone!