Are You Friends With Your Exes?
Is that even possible? This question is case to case basis. It depends on how you take it, or what perspective you have.
As for me, it depends on how the relationship ended. If it was a healthy breakup, you can stay as friends then otherwise, it is better to maintain distance with each other and recognize that you both had history that you don't wanna dwell on.
I've had 3 past relationships. 2 of them were puppy love and the other one was the recent and serious ones. I also have 1 recent "situationship" which I'm gonna share in my next articles. If you're curious what that means, stay tuned on my next or you can just look into uncle Google's library. These generation Z terms are overwhelming indeed.
Back to the question. So to answer this, no, I am not friends with my ex (the recent one). The 2 puppy loves I had, I remained friends with them. It was just one of those playful relationships you had in your teenage years where you were both still immature to handle such situations.
With regards to the recent one, I don't think I can ever be friends with him. The thing is, I thought the breakup was okay. I thought it was not toxic but I was wrong. It was late that I found out I was cheated on. I found it out 7 months after the breakup.
I figured it out because I saw his profile on my timeline. We remained friends on Facebook after the (so called healthy breakup that I thought of) so he appeared on my feed. He got married 7 months after we broke up. I was actually very happy to see him on that photo wearing a suit with his wife. I got curious who the wife was so I stalked their profile, and there I found out everything.
It turned out, I was cheated on all along. I was fooled, I felt betrayed, disrespected, taken for granted. It hurt like hell. I have to admit, there was a moment in my life where I took the blame of why it happened but after recovering from that emotional pain, I realized that this isn't about me. It's about how pathetic he is as a person.
If he couldn't remain faithful to me in the first place, why would he do such a thing without my knowledge? That speaks how coward is. He was being dishonest to me and even to himself actually. That one night where I all figured everything out, was already the closure that I needed. That answers everything and so there's no need for me to reach out and ask him questions about anything.
I went through the 5 stages of grief but I skipped on the bargaining stage. I could never imagine myself getting back or hoping for another chance with a cheater. That speaks so much of his character already. I got mad, of course and I certainly believe it was valid.
That is why, for me to establish healthy boundaries with myself, it is better to maintain distance and not be friends with him anymore. I can forgive and I will never forget.
After what happened, my trust issues went so high. Well, you guys can't blame me.
Thanks for reading.
Keep safe everyone!
You didn't deserve that, ate. 🥺 Anyway, the answer to your question depends on the situation. I'm friends with my other exes, but the recent one, nope. It was a toxic relationship too, and maybe it's better for us to grow apart.