I don't usually feel very sad. I feel sadness but not this kind. I feel like I only have myself and myself alone. No other human can make me feel okay. No comedy movies can make me laugh or even at least a glimpse of smile. I know the cause. I can't fight the thought. I've been reading inspirational articles and all but it doesn't sink in my mind.
I am usually happy or neutral. But right now, I feel so down. Looking for a man that was here for me when I needed him the most, my father. He's long gone. And now I don't know where to turn to. I look at my kids and it makes me sad even more. I want to laugh. I want to smile. I want to be cheerful again. But I don't think I am able now.
I prayed. I prayed for peace of mind. I prayed hard. Hoping it will all go away instantly. I asked for guidance in which way I should go. I prayed for love to be felt by me. I prayed for forgiveness for all my sins. I always pray but this time I prayed even more.
Tears are flowing, can't hold it down. Some people might think I over react but no. This is how I really feel right now. I also don't like this feeling. I'm trying to divert it into writing articles. I tried writing a positive article but I can't continue. My mood is just not right for that. I deleted my draft.
I'm thinking of writing a article based on fiction. That way maybe I can let out the feeling I'm trying to suppress right now. It may not be related to my real story but at least I think the intensity is the same. I just want to let it out and hopefully I can let it go.
Words aren't enough to express the depth of my emotion right now. No matter how long an article may be, I think I will just be circling around and only one idea is obvious. I am broken. I am sad. I am depressed.
To all who also feel this way, I pray for you too. I pray we can have peace that we deserve. I pray for the moment that we are able to smile again without any pain in our soul.
Check out this community,they are giving chances for authors to get sponsored. It is hosted by @Ashma . here's the link: https://read.cash/c/get-sponsored-2a0b
Don't forget to like, comment, subscribe and upvote. Thanks.
It happens to me a lot of times and when it does, all the old memories come back to haunt me. But over time, that is likely to change. I pray to Allah to remove all your troubles Amin.