They say we can all stop the pain we feel inside. That we can control it by thinking positive things, look at the brighter side and still have faith. I don't think that's a fact. I don't think I can get over the pain you caused me. I don't think they understand what pain really is.
You hurt me more than a person can bear. The pain is overwhelming that I can't even feel anything other than pain. You killed me inside. I feel like I'm dead but my physical body moves. Every move I make aches every muscle and every inch of my soul. Dying for real is easier. I never thought I would appreciate death more than life.
I want this to stop. I want the pain to stop. I want the misery to stop. Please make it stop.
How can I even achieve that? How can I when I still want you? Yes. I still do. It makes me go crazy thinking about the vagueness of my thoughts. How can I make the pain go away and make you stay? It seems like pain and 'you' is a package deal. Like you wouldn't exist without the pain in my life?
Why do I still want you? Why do I still cry? Why do I still care? Why do I still carry you at night? Why do tears fall each time I think of you? Why do I still long for your touch? You caress that soothes me from the pain you caused. Why? Why do I still love you?
Despite the hurt you bring, I still think that you're the only one that can calm me down. You make me mad but all I can think is myself hugging you just to make you stop the pain you caused.
What did you do to me? What kind of emotion have you awaken inside me? What am I thinking? I don't understand it no matter how hard I try. I don't know when it all started. I don't know how it started. I don't know where this leads me. I don't know what to do.
I remember the days when we were still happy. I remember the way you said my name differently. A way that can get the butterflies fly beautifully. I remember when you used to be inlove with me. I remember when I used to be your happiness.
What happened? Where did I go wrong? What did I do to make you horrible? What happened to the promises we made? What happened to us? Do I deserve this? Is this what I'm supposed to live with? Am I bound to be like this forever? Am I gonna be like this forever?
Help me.. Help me understand everything you've done. Help me understand everything that's happened. Help me understand why we end up hurting? Help me understand why you changed. Help me understand what good is this gonna make. Help me understand you.
Alone in the dark, I sit waiting for you to grab me back to the light. Alone in the dark, I cry, hoping you'll come back. Alone in the dark, I chant your name in my head. Alone in the dark, wondering. Wondering what will happen next. Alone in the dark with soul crumbled into pieces and not minding it.
Damn that was heavy but i think uou can make it heavier OwO