Forgiveness

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Forgiveness is not something you give out so easily especially when you've been hurt so much. You would curse the other person and sometimes you are left with hatred in your heart and you become fiery.

Forgiveness is not only for the person that hurt you but also for your own peace. After the pain, the next process you are in to is forgiving. In that way, you are letting go of the pain and you're allowing yourself to heal. But this doesn't mean you condone the person with what he/she did to you. You have every right to be mad. Be furious about it. And to be healed from it. This also does not mean there's nothing to work on to and it definitely does not mean that everything will go back to the way it was and everything is okay. No. it was not okay, it is not okay and it will never be okay. It happened. You were hurt, you might even be still hurting. You might also be hurt again when you it crossed your mind. But you will surpass everything. You will heal. When don't have to include the person in your life when you forgive if you're not ready to. You can forgive the person and block him off your life. blocking him off doesn't mean you don't forgive him. It just mean that you don't want him ruin everything again but you don't hold grudge already. Think of it like when you go to a restaurant and you didn't like the food and service. You forgive it but you don't wanna dine in that restaurant again. I may make it sound like easy but no. It isn't. It takes time, you have the right to take your time. No one should be hurrying you. It would be hard especially because we are mad, we are full of hatred to that person or maybe because we are sad. Sad because we were caught off guard and that we actually love the person that hurt us and we don't see sincerity in their apology. Some people don't realize that they are liking the feeling that they are superior when the other is apologizing. And not knowingly loving the adrenaline anger has given you. So when you forgive someone you should be really willing to do so. Don't force yourself if you're not ready and still mad. The pain and anger will only come back when you force to heal and forgive.. Let time tell you when you should. Think about the time you were hurt and accept that you were hurt and mad. Accept the reality of how much you were hurt. Like others say, "acceptance is the key". Accept and acknowledge not only the pain but also the lesson you learned about the incident. About you, the other person, your needs and boundaries. Know that you don't only need to heal, you also need to learn. Expose the anger (not violently though) and feel the pain. Say it, shout, write it down. Include the anger not only the pain while healing. Soften your heart a little. You once loved the other person after all, that's why you were hurt. If you soften your heart a little and look on the positive side, it will be a bit easier. But softening your heart does not mean you go and let them hurt you again. Forgiving is not as simple as snapping your finger and all is well. It's not done overnight. Don't hurry. Decide whether you tell the other person you forgive them or not. As I've said, this is not for his sake. It's for your own peace of mind.

Forgiveness is your gift to yourself after the pain. Don't rush into it. You are allowed to feel sad, hurt and mad, and your feelings are valid, Be ready for another chapter of your life after you heal. Process sadness and healing will come naturally

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Comments

It doesn't work this way as you state. Of course, it's good if you forgive someone but these are just words. You can say it but sooner or later after years, the anger pops up. This is normal because the soul has its own way to deal with the hurt. I am not saying you have to let it poison your life but it's not realistic to say "I forgive you" if it doesn't feel that way and in reality, you did not. Those words you just say because therapists say it's better to. But that better to does not work out in reality. I am not talking here about a guy who hurt you or a best friend who betrayed you but about serious things like group rapes, being molested for years, surviving a concentration camp, etc. What your soul can not forget, your brain can not give a place (yet) you simply can not forgive.

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4 years ago

you have a point. it's hard to forgive serious things like rape or being molested. it'll take years or even decades to at least lessen the pain. You don't have to tell the other person you forgive them though. I don't want to say that they can easily forgive their rapist or anything, But I am sure that time will come that they've already healed and forgive their abductor but it doesn't mean that what the other person did to them is okay.

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4 years ago

This story is about forgiveness. It is the part and parcel in our present world. It's makes a man great. Thank you.

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4 years ago

yeah. forgiveness should be part of our life. without it, the world would be in chaos

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4 years ago

how do you turn pain into something beautiful? - Forgive 🤗❣️

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4 years ago

nice one... i like that.. yes yes yes!

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4 years ago

Forgiveness which is the most important part and parcel in our holl life. thank you

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4 years ago

without forgiveness the world will be falling apart.. and we will all be living in a world of hatred

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4 years ago

I remember the article I wrote on forgiveness after reading this... It made me release that some day the world could be a better place...

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4 years ago

ofcourse it will be. it is a wonderful place already for some. let's dig in those positive thoughts so we can attract positive things. :)

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4 years ago

Forgiveness is a great quality. This quality should be present in every human being in the world. If we learn to forgive, there will be no problem in our lives.

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4 years ago

That's true. We will live in harmony haha

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4 years ago

Forgiveness is necessary in our lives for us to move forward as offenses must occur.

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4 years ago

absolutely! It's a must.. It always happen everyday people even don't realize they've already forgiven the other person

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4 years ago

Awesome! Everyone wants and needs forgiveness. Is that, we must find in our self and think that God do forgive to a most sinful sins. So why not us? We are just created by his own image. We must forgive! 😍😘

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4 years ago

I agree. Who are we to judge just because we are hurt. But as a human, we are entitled to get mad and be hurt. our feelings are valid. but as soon as you get past the pain, let yourself be free and forgive.

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4 years ago

Nice article...it really touched me because I have been in such a position where someone I really loved hurt me and I found it so difficult to let go...

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4 years ago

Letting go is as hard as forgiving. You cannot rush the process. Take time. But know that letting go and forgiveness comes side by side and know that the person who hurt you don't need to be in the process for you to heal. You don't need to let him know you forgive him and that you already moved on. He doesn't have to know nor does he has the right to know (it's just my opinion).. I forgive people but not let them know they are forgiven. My forgiveness is not for their sake but for my own peace of mind. It's not for them to celebrate but for my heart and sould to celebrate. It's not about them but about me I hope that one day you will be healed from the wounds the other person has caused you. One day, I know you will.

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4 years ago

I can always remember the song " Forgiveness is more than saying sorry. Forgiveness means accepting peoples flaws."

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4 years ago

What's the title of the song? it seems to have nice lyrics.. :)

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4 years ago

Hahaha. Funny I can't remember the title of the song. Only the lyrics. I just heard it in the movies.

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4 years ago

haha okay, I will try to search it on the web and update you when I see something,

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4 years ago