Do I really need to change?

Change is a very broad subject. We change for the better, we even change for the worse without us realizing it. We change because of our beliefs. We change because of the demands in our surroundings. We change for ourselves, we change for other people. Change is everywhere. Like what we always read: "Change is inevitable."

I would like to talk about changing for other people (and yourself) for this article. Is it really necessary? I mean, do we really need to change for other people? Don't we always say "I don't need to change who I am for anybody"?

Half of you might agree (with change) and a half might say, NO. You might feel like you need to change at some point. But some are really strong-willed thinking they don't need to change for anyone. some people are obstinate that no matter how you persuade them, they will never change their mind unless it's what they really want.

Change is good. Okay, maybe not all the time. Let me rephrase it. Change may or may not be good. But believe me we all change. Whether we like it or not. Sometimes we change without us even realizing it. We change based on how we feel, what we want and what we believe in. This is what we share in common. We change. The only thing we can't change is CHANGE.

I have also asked myself, maybe a million times already, do I really need to change? Why can't they accept me for who I am? Why can't I just be myself? Will I be letting myself down if I change for someone else?

What I realized is that, I don't change because of someone else I changed because it's what I wanted. I just didn't realize I wanted it until that time. Or maybe, I wanted to change because I want to be better for them. I wanted to please them. And who really benefits from that change? Me. Yeah, maybe them too but mostly me. I changed to please people for what? For me. I want to please the people I care about, I want them to notice, to recognize me, to appreciate me. But don't get me wrong. It's not like I'm saying that I will totally change who I am and be a people-pleaser. No. What I'm trying to say is that I change SOME of my habits (especially the based ones) to prove myself to the people I care about.

Prove myself. We always want to prove ourselves. Let's not be a hypocrite about this. There's no sane person that doesn't really care what others think, especially those we care about. We care what they think. We care how they feel towards us. We care how they see us. That's why we change, voluntarily or involuntarily.

Trying to please people is our reaction to fear and rejection. That's why we end up changing. Come to think of it. Don't we benefit more when we please the people we care about? Because when we change to please them, we get what we want.. which is basically to please them.

Except for the times we change for something we don't want like for the times we are forced to change. Now that's a different story. Now that's not good. That change is not something we benefit from. And that's the kind of change WE DON'T WANT TO DO.

Why else do we change? I change for myself. I change so I can be happy with who I am and what I have. I change so I can be better because I owe it to myself. We change because we need to give ourselves the love we deserve. Self Love. Self Respect. Self Worth. We change for these kinds of things.

Change is something we cannot avoid. Whatever your reasons are for changing, I hope you change because you want to change and you change for the better. I hope you are not forced to change to something you don't even want for yourself. I hope we can all embrace change and learn to get through in every process. I hope you are happy about what you changed or what changed you.

❤❤❤❤

Jdine