Truly, madly, deeply!

November 17, 2021

"2nd day that I'm away with my son, 2nd morning that I'm not laying and waking up beside my son and 3rd night were I'm not with him by his side sleeping."

Being a mother, there were lots of considerations to take. When I become one, I had lots of responsibilities being portray and that is being a mother literally. One of it's responsibility is of course to take good care of our child every day and night. Ever since I gave birth to our son I was the one who was very hands on in caring our son. After I gave birth, I was the one who suffers those sleepless nights, waking up so early, those feeling that you still wanted to sleep but you can't because you need to wake up since your child needs milk from us. Those moments that I carry my son for a longers hours just to let him sleep because he doesn't want to be laid down. I must say the tiring moment was being carried by myself because those times that my son was still in months old, I and my partner were not living together. I was with my parents and he was in there hometown which was very far from our place here at my parents. That is why I was really the one who took care of our son for 1 year because right after our son turns 1-year old we decided to live in together. At this time, I had someone who could helped me with our son. But still I was there. I was there by my son sides every morning I woke up and every night when I off to sleep. I've always seen my son everyday. Maybe that's the reason why son as well want me to carry him every time he sees me and let me played him.

When I started working in this work I had now. I always left our home there at my partner's hometown and lived or stayed here at my parent's place because my workplace is far from our home. So, every work days I was here staying at my parent's place. The first to 3rd week of working, I always brought with me our son here at my parent's place. So, everytime I'll came home from work I have my son who waits for me at the front door and then when he saw me he smiled and laughed and uttered the word "mama" or "nana". Then, asked to carry him immediately. This moment really made my heart beats faster. All the tiredness I felt after work fade away everytime I see my son waiting for me everytime I get home. Then, hugged and kissed me. It's really such a wonderful feeling a mother would feel and I'm so grateful with that said feeling.

My first time of being away with son...

This week, this week is the first week thag I haven't brought my son with me here at my parent's place and just left my son to his father at our house together with my partner's siblings. I left my son there because I'm already shy with my mom who will looked at my son the whole day when I was at work and knowing that my mom is also a busy person, and had to do lots of household chores. That's why I decided to left my son to his father instead and his father will looked and took care of him instead. As I've said, were far away from each other because our place were far away as well. It's still a 2-hour or almost a 2-hour ride to get there at our house starting here at my parent's place. That's why I will not being seeing my son for the whole weekdays this week.

I hate the feeling of being away with my son...

Knowing that I'm always with my son's side for almost 2 years. Being away with even just a week is already a struggle for me. Even the first night that slept alone without my son in my side was so hard for me and in that first night I really had hard time sleeping because I always thought of my son even I tried myself not to but my mind always thought of him that I even pictured out and remembers those moments that I'm off to sleep with my son.

That's why, I do a video call to my partner to see them and my son. But everytime I did that my son would cried out loud because I felt he wanted to see me personally.

As I've wanted to carry my son because his crying but I can't. But I asked my partner if he was also crying if were not in a video call. The he said, "No, he will just cry when we had a video call."

It somehow hurts me seeing my crying and called me over the phone because I knew he misses me and wanted me to carry him because he was so "mama's boy".

That's why, I will just endure it for a week and not to do video call so that my son won't cry seeing me over the phone.

So, I'll ve seeing my son again this coming Saturday. Since, every weekend I went home there and get back here for work every Monday morning.

So, that's it for now.

A piece of a mother who misses her son in truly, madly, deeply!

Have a great day ahead!

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Lead image was edited by my partner through pic nava app.