My FIRST intimate experiences

April 2, 2022 SATURDAY

As I am wandering all over this platform just to have or get an idea on what to write for I have nothing in mind. I bumped into articles of @ThisisGrace21 and @Yzza0625 about recollecting their memories on their first CRUSH, first BOYFRIEND and first BREAK UP. Then, here I am. Good thing I was able to read their articles and I have an idea on what to write before this day ends. I just hoped this signal connection will be good to me so that I can publish this. Otherwise, I just end up this day without entry. Actually, I'm writing it as fast as I can while the signal is still good. Good? Well, maybe not because its on and off and it really tests my patience. Hahayysst....

Well anyway, I just hope I ended up publishing this one for as of writing sadly the page is now reconnecting.

Time check: 10:40PM, Its the time right now that I was able to get back here for the signal were gone a while ago.

So, I will now start my first intimate experiences while signal is back.

First CRUSH

To have crush/crushes is actually just a normal feeling more especially in our teenage life. I myself have felt to admired someone's looks, attitudes, and the way they wore clothes. But I was able to really or shall I say super admired on someone when I was in my 2nd year high school. I really had a secret feeling of my classmate or I really had a crush on that guy. He was my first crush that I secretly admired and tried my best to not let anybody know that I had a crush on him knowing that were just classmate and aside from that we are also closed to each other. It's very shameful if someone knew about it. But even if I really did my best to not let others know my feeling. Still, there is this someone who accidentally knew and what's more worst and shameful is that he/my crush also knew about it.

Someone knew about because of such one time that I wrote my crush name and my name and put it in a heart and that someone was on my back without me knowing whose watching on what I wrote. Then, that someone is also my classmate and cousin of my crush. I was totally shy at that time to the point that I crumpled the paper and throw it outside. To found out that my classmate didn't saw what I wrote on that paper properly and was shocked when she went outside and got back the crumpled paper that I threw outside even if its raining and then she opened it since it wasn't yet totally wet from the rain. Then, there she found out I had a crush on her cousin. I really begged her to not tell anyone especially to her cousin. Still, I was glad he never told anyone about it.

Years passed. I was already in 1st year college and that time I saw again my crush because we are on the same university as well as we found out that we are just neighbors for our boarding house were just near from each other. But this time, I already don't have that feeling of admiring him. In other words, that crush feeling were gone already and when I saw him again I just felt nothing as if I just knew him from before. So, during this time we tend to always hang out after class, we seen each other after class but eventually he just confess on me which left me to have nothing to say because first and foremost I just hang out with him as friend and nothing more. Then, to find out he just actually grabbing the opportunity for he said to me that he knew and his cousin told him that I had crush on him before so that's why he courted me expecting to say yes to him. I was actually quite disappointed on him with what I know because I felt he just courted me because he was confident that I would say yes knowing his my crush. Like what? Why shouldn't he asked if I still have a crush on him or not before courting?

That was it. Somehow, my first crush ends up a memorable experienced for me.

First BOYFRIEND

My first boyfriend actually was my relative. Well, I never knew he was still my relative. That is why when I knew it I automatically cut off the relationship even if he doesn't want to cut it off.

My first boyfriend were actually my long time text mate before when I was still in high school. We were text mates for 3 years as in we were so closed as text mates but I don't know why that if we saw each other in person as if we were strangers. Lol Yeah, that was our set up. Until such time that he asked me a favor that he wanted my help for he liked someone but his afraid of the parents because it strict that's why he had hesitations of courting. Then, to find out it was me he's pointing about the girl he liked and courted me because I actually advised him to why not try. Haha So, it ended that he really tried courting the girl and that was me. Since, I was somehow attached by him maybe because were a long time text mate. I accepted him. But we just last for 1 month because as I've said I found out that were just relative and I hate that. Actually, I was somehow felt pity for him because he really did begged me not to leave him but I'm really firmed to cut our relationship because were just relative and I don't like it.

First BREAK UP

Actually, my first break up is what I mentioned above on my first boyfriend.

Break up because were just related to each other.

Somehow, this affected me but not that totally broken hearted because that time I was still so young and also that time I still don't know what really love is. Somehow, I must it was just a feeling of what we called a "puppy love". That was for me because I'm still that young.

But its actually different feeling for the guy that time because a week after I broke up with him, I just found out that he flew to Manila which is so far our province to find a job even though that time he had already a job. Then, I confirmed it that I was the reason that he went to Manila because he texted me that he wanted to forget his feelings from me and he can't do that if he would always saw me. So, that's why he went there.

Well, anyways with such first intimate experiences I must say that I had really a long hair. Haha

Time check: 11:25PM. I'm done writing but I don't know if I can publish this because the signal were freaking gave me a head ache.

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