Long Lost Crush

3rd of September 2021

When we were in our teenage years, highschool days to be exact. Crushes were there, left and right. Actually, having crushes were just normal and it's part of maturity. During our highschool days we tend to have crushes either our classmates or not. Some were very vocal about their crushes and some were also secretive.

Just like me, I won't deny that I had a crush before when I was in my 2nd year high school and I am very secretive on that matter. Only myself knows about whom I admire and even my close friends before never knew about it. Because as what I've said I'm a secretive type of person in terms of the said matter because I'm afraid being bullied in the first place.

When I was in my 2nd year high school, I had this ultimate crush of mine. I don't know why everytime I saw him that time my heart keeps beating fast as if there are instruments inside. My stomach as well has lots of butterflies inside. Were closed actually. We laughed together, we talked since were a close friend aside from being a classmate. He keeps on smiling and when he laughed that's the time I admired him the most. I love how he smiles and laughed. His like a guy that is a happy go lucky guy. I really admired him and I have a crush on him but only me who knows that. I like the way he put his hands on my shoulders while were walking towards the canteen to buy a snack. He never knew that I'm secretly had a crush on him that time. I keep it a secret because I'm afraid as well that I will lost the friendship we've had if ever he knew. So, I just keep it in myself and just go along with him.

One time, it was afternoon and it was raining outside too while we are waiting for our MAPE Teacher. I sit at the back part, but that wasn't my seat at all because I sit in front. I just sit at the back because I'm writing something that time. I don't know what comes to my mind but I'm writing his name (my crush name) and my name and then I enclosed it with a heart shape. Without me noticing while writing it, my other classmate who happened to be my crush cousin saw what I'm writing because she's at my back that time. Then, when I noticed her I then crumpled the piece of paper and threw it outside. Then I asked her if she saw what I'm writing then she told me that she just saw the heart but not clearly saw the names in it. I was glad that moment when she doesn't saw any names but again without me noticing she went outside ang picked up the paper that I thrown and read what's inside that paper. She just called me when she's already outside and done reading on what's in it. The paper were wet knowing it's raining that time but still she picked up the paper and read what's inside. Then, afterwards she starts teasing me and I begged her not to tell her cousin.

Fast forward.

In the 3rd quarter of the year. Both of them, (my crush and her cousin the one who knows about my crush) transfered to another school which was nearer to their house because both of them as well were living in the same barrio. I was quite sad knowing that my crush will transfer to another school. But still thankful that my crush cousin never told him about what she knew until the time that they already transfered to another school.

3 years later...

3 years later after that, I'm already in my 1st year college which I'm taking Engineering first since my profession now which is being a Teacher were just my second course. My crush and I met again since we found out that we are in the same school. He took Criminology and I took Engineering. So we are in same school but we are in different department. We saw each other during intramurals in our school were students can gather together. This time the crush feeling were already fades away. So, I don't have a crush on him anymore or a feeling for him. That was just only when we were in 2nd year high school.

So, when we saw each other of course we talked and then found out again that our boarding house were also near to each other as well. So, every 5PM - 6PM after our classes. He will passed by in my boarding house and will call me to have a snack and eat some "balot" . Of course since he will be the one to pay it so I'll go with him to have snack together and after we eat "balot".

By that time, I only see him as a friend already and nothing more beyond that. I even forgot that I had a crush on him before. So, we go out together that time as a friend and nothing else more. Since, we usually go out together after we knew we are just living nearly and he always visits me at my boarding house too. That time as well I had a boyfriend already. If you can remember my boyfriend that time was the 2nd ex of mine if you happen to read my type of exes article.

So, that is why I only go out with him as a friend since I also don't have a feeling on him like a crush on him anymore since that feeling was just 3 years ago. But one time after we had a snack outside. He just suddenly out of nowhere asked me if can we be together like boyfriend girlfriend. I somehow got shocked on what he utters that time because I never expected that. So, there were such an awkwardness overload in that moment. Then, I just told him that I had a boyfriend which in the first place he knew. Then he just said that he will wait for my response. (Haha ganda ang peg lol)

After that, when we already got back to our respective boarding house. He chatted me that he will wait. Then I told him not to hoped for it because I already had a boyfriend that time. Then he said that his cousin (the one that caught me writing 3 years ago) told him that I had a crush on him. Then, I responded Yes and told him that I had a crush on him but that was just 3 years ago and now I just see him as a friend. Then he replied that he tried to court me because he knew that I had a crush on him before and hoping that I will say Yes to him. But it was the other way around. I felt like he just take advantage of knowing that I had a crush on him before.

After that chats, he became cold to me already and he stops visiting me for a week. But, after a week he visits me again and we had snack and he felt sorry because of what happen.

Fast forward.

We still became friends up until now. But we just rarely chat each other. He already graduated with BS Criminology and I guess his already part of the Police force now.

That was it everyone. A story about my long lost crush.

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