Leave, It's Not Worthy

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Avatar for JRamona20
2 years ago

It was really a toxic. Everyday we have always a fight. We always shouted each other. The relationship that I could never ask for. I always cried. Everyday I always lock in my room. He threw me a painful words. I always lying at my bed. Looking at the ceiling and always asking myself.

I always talked to God. I always asked what was the best way I'm gonna do. I always cried and asked him a guidance.

A lot of questions stilled in my mind.

Can I stop now?

What I'm going to do?

Is this enough?

I was out of myself because I was so scared whatever my decision was. I afraid that I would regrets at the end. I love him but he was too much. He was really strict. I didn't have a freedom. I didn't like his attitude everytime we have a fight. I was always hurt everytime he held my hands with a force and it will make a dark mark.

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Sometimes we didn't fight too. He was good but the problem when the time we were in a quarel scenarios. I couldn't take it. I didn't expect his attitude. I just want to be happy. I want to have a peaceful relationship. I know that it's normal having a fight but when it comes about us I think it was over the limit.

Our relationship wasn't healthy anymore that time. The problem I have, I chose to countinue it. I expect that he will change. I expect everyday. I want to started again the way we use to be before. I fixed myself to be a good partner again. Honestly I was change because of his attitude that's why I learned to fight him and I learned to shouted him back everytime we fight. It wasn't me but he change me on that attitude. The reason I started to go back my old self. I prayed that he will change also.

I promise myself that we will start again. I talked to him regarding that things I want. We were at peace that time. He understand me and we promise each other. I was really happy. I couldn't explain what I've felt because of the happiness I have. It was the time, I felt something different. I felt the real joyous moment in my whole life with him. He makes me an endless smiles.

After 2 weeks, I cried in my room again. I thought he will change but I was totally wrong. I expected too much. The problem I have because I was expecting a big changes. I believe in him with his words that full of promises. The problem he became worst, he hurt me not only emotionally but physically. It was the time, I locked myself at room and never see him. I was in a trauma. I was really scared to see him. I couldn't believe that he will do that things to me. He punched my stomach that time. I cried and someone saw me there. I was really thankful that they brought me in the hospital immediately.

After 1 month, I was shocked because he did a visit to me. My parents were shocked also. He down at the floor and cried. He tears a lot and asking forgiveness. He regrets what he did, he said. He make an apologize. He always ask forgiveness how many times but I was emotionally didn't accept it because I couldn't still move on about what he did. I was deeply hurt. It was a traumatic scene. Before he walk outside he ask forgiveness again but still I didn't forgive him. I wasn't ready that time and that moment I don't want to see his face. My body was shaking when I saw him. All what he did to me was flashing back that's why I told my parents to make him leave in the house. Everyday he sent me a letter with apology. I didn't replied it. Still I didn't forgive him.

"I know there is a perfect time for forgiveness. The time that I am totally ready and forget everything. Now I don't want to. I am happy now with my life. I am only focusing at my work. After I've been through finally I commit the happiness that I'm wishing for!"

Image Source: Unsplash

This is only a fictional story...

________________________

Thank you so much. I hope I give you some thoughts with this article of mine.

God bless everyone. Stay safe always.🙏

-JRamona20 💜

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2 years ago

Comments

Naaawa ako sa mga babaeng nakakaranans nito Sis, yung di nila deserve. Basta ako, pag nasaktan ng partner ko physically, ibang usupan na talaga yan.

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2 years ago

...it's a very tough situation life would be messy if your relationship is ruined...I won't give advice because I have no capacity to know what's inside of both of you..but the only thing that I can say is that ..you need to clarify things first ...or are both of you to really want your relationship linger

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2 years ago

Im not love expert but, para sakinn po she did a better choice. Leaving that man will put her at peace. Lalo na Kung sobrnag toxic ng relationship nila that lead to physical abuse. If ever she changed her mind and saw that her man is gradually changing for her maybe they can work their relationship again po. Maybe the boy has a problem too, who knows... GoodMorningg atee Jeee alam kong di agad sayoo yungs story KAsi alam kong happy ka sa relationship na meronn na now

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2 years ago

Ang hirap mapunta sa sobrang toxic na relationship ate ganda nu. Minsan di natin ma identify kung tayo ba yung toxic or not. The thing is, if its not helping us anymore to grow, lets learn to let go.

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2 years ago

Yes Langga true. Minsan maiisip mo sino ba talaga ang may problema pero kung nakita mo na parang hindi na healthy at worth it, dapat talaga i-let go na.

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2 years ago

Change starts with an individual. It is important to forgive.

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2 years ago

Yes friend. Forgiveness will give you a peace and freedom too.

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2 years ago

Kala ko totoo talaga sis pero buti na lng hindi tlaga ksi nkakaiyak. Wag mo hayaang saktan ka physically ksi nkakawalang respeto yan eh.

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2 years ago

Fictional story lang sis. Oo sis yun talaga hinding hindi na pwede. Dami nga ako nakikita sa Facebook sis. Kaawa-awa talaga kasi nagkakapasa na.😭

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2 years ago

Yes fictional tlga at kala ko totoo hahaha. Grvh nmn kung gugulpihin ka ng partner mo. Di mkatao yan sis.

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2 years ago

If only human beings can learn to decide on their own and not keep allowing people tamper with their emotions. We can never change any man except he is ready to change. We own our happiness and no one should keep coming leaving a scar behind. Thank God it´s fictional.

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2 years ago

Yes princess you're right we can never change a person expect he does. It's depend of a person. Yes we shouldn't let ourselves to be suffer to the person who is not worthy. Thank you for reading princess.

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2 years ago

Yes J! Sometimes in our life we need to find happiness or worth of love to ourselves. Is not always we find a true love from others, it should be find in our own. We cannot give what we don't have! So, give love to ourselve first and everything will be follow.

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2 years ago

Yes we should prioritize first ourselves kleh before the others always mind ourselves too. We shouldn't blind the things which give us only sufferings.

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2 years ago

It's good to move on when a relationship just gives you pain and disrespect you. The time came when a person just wanted to get peace of mind nothing else

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2 years ago

Yes friend you're right. We should move on and let go the things that make us suffer. Yes there is a perfect time for everything.

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2 years ago

I believe that we can't truly pushed a man to change as long as he doesn't want to. If the relationship is so toxic like this, it's better to let go rather than suffering. Buti na lang fictional ito ate hheheh

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2 years ago

Yes langga you're absolutely right. If the relationship is toxic already it's better to stop and let go. Don't let ourselves to suffer from the things which is not worthy. Yes Langga hehe it's fictional. Thank you so much for reading.

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2 years ago

She did a right decision here. If it's me I'll choose to end everything nalang kesa mas lalo pang masaktan dahil sa relasyon na wala ng patutunguhan. Nice story 🥳

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2 years ago

Yes sis Ruffa. It's the best decision na mag let go. Wag ikulong yung sarili sa relasyon na parang toxic na lang palagi sis kasi hindi na yan healthy. Thank you so much sis.

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2 years ago

If the relationship is already toxic just like this one, learn to walk away from it. It's not worth it anymore. Nice fiction story sis

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2 years ago

Yes sis that's true. Every human deserves happiness so don't let yourself to be suffer from the person who are not worth it. Thank you sis.

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2 years ago

Did you forgot me my old friend? Don't you remember me at all? Hope you a great luck and blessings.

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2 years ago

I didn't forget you friend. Thank you for reading. Happy New Year to you!🎉 God bless you too my friend.🙏😇

$ 0.01
2 years ago

habang nagbabasa ako nito fren ay sobrang naawa at nalungkot ako sayu kasi kilala namn kita personaly eh. Pero grr Naudlot yung awa ko nong nabasa ko yung pinakahuli🤣🤣🤣

By the way Nice twist of a story

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2 years ago

Hehee it's fictional friend. Hehe ano tingin mo sakin friend?☺️

Thank you sa pagbasa friend.

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2 years ago

Mahinhin at di namn masyadong palasalita😅

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2 years ago

Hehe oo nga friend. Di talaga ako pasalita friend.

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2 years ago

Hehe,I thought it was real with you.We shouldn't let ourselves be pressured with a person who choose to abuse our freedom and rights of being a woman.

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2 years ago

Hehe it's only fictional sis. Yes sis you're right we shouldn't let ourselves be prison to the people who's not worthy to fight, the person who gave us pains.

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2 years ago

Well, we always fall into this trap thinking people with a negative attitude are going to change but only goes on without the change we expect.

It is a nice story sis.

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2 years ago

Yes you're right friend. There are a lot of people with this kind of situation. Hoping and expecting for changes but it turns out nothing's change.💔

Thank you my friend.

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2 years ago

You're welcome. I'm new on read.cash

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2 years ago

Welcome here in read.cash friend.🎉 More blessings to you.🙏😇

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2 years ago

Fictional lang pala sis hehe akala ko kung ano na. Alam mo na when it comes to fight madami talagang makaka relate.

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2 years ago

Oo sis fictional lang. Oo sis grabe talaga pag fight na. Yung iba kaawa awa nalang nuh. Nakita ko sa Facebook palagi.

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2 years ago

If u really need soace ate do it, wag ka magsettle.. he's not good enough for you

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2 years ago

Yes Langga. Matuto tayong mag let go sa mga bagay na nagpapasakit lang sa atin. Fictional story lang to Langga. Thank you for reading.

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2 years ago