Love needs complements for a relationship to work. It is not because we love each other a lot that we are happier or solve everyday problems better. So much so, that many couples end up breaking up even though affection and passion are still alive. We see it every day. What's more, maybe even we ourselves have gone through that experience. That of having to leave the one you love, to say goodbye forever to the one who could have been everything and in the end, came to nothing. Breakups that hide something more than simple incompatibility, the weight of routine or communication problems. On average, those who are still fond of each other usually go through numerous comings and goings before proceeding to the final breakup.
In fact, there are distancing and restarts, where the "it's not working, we'd better give it some time" and "let's try again, but let's do it right this time" abound. In spite of this, nothing seems to work, because love in that final stage already hurts, already hurts and the measures taken only enlarge the wound. For a good part of our lives (especially when we are younger) we take for granted that love is the glue that binds everything together. We feel lucky to have someone to love and, more importantly, to be loved. However, as we advance in years and experiences we discover with some disappointment that love cannot do everything, nor is it the magic formula in happy relationships. We can be attached to a person by many points.
In that sense, in a relationship there could be passion, attraction, friendship, complicity and even that magic capable of making any situation transcendent. However, there is a precipice that does not close, a suffering that does not go away. That something is often the life projects of each one of us. It may be that, for you, your work is decisive, that goal in which you place your plans for the future. However, your partner does not see that aspiration with good eyes. It may also be the case that one of you wants to have a family and the other is not ready for such a dimension. Understanding basically requires putting yourself in the other person's shoes without giving up being yourself in order to connect with someone else's reality. Something that at first glance seems basic and essential, is not a fact that is achieved so often in a couple's relationship.
Sometimes, love doesn't know and doesn't want to understand. One of the reasons why a couple that loves each other separates is usually due to a lack of appreciation. There are times when time usually takes its toll and it does so in a very specific way. It is very common to start taking many things for granted: the actions of the other, the efforts, the details, the wills, the virtues. It is true that we do not need to be glorified for what we are or what we do, but as a couple we need that recognition and validation towards each other. The quality of communication is one of the most decisive elements for a relationship to have a future. To know how to listen, to speak assertively, to know how to discuss without being dominated by emotions and to be able to reach agreements, is the cornerstone of any affective bond.
In conclusion, the couple is not an isolated entity, it is not protected by a sphere that separates it from vital events and circumstances. There is the family, the parents, that bond that sometimes can cling to one of the members to the point of restricting the relationship, of putting impediments to which nothing is done. There is the work environment and even the social environment, dimensions that can put a couple to the test in many ways. There can be infidelities or even attempts, facts that make the distrust germinate in a relationship. Likewise, there can also be events in the face of which we suddenly see how our partner is: an illness, a legal problem. A relationship is built, it is worked as a delicate craft that needs many elements to remain firm, beautiful, lasting.
Have you had to separate even though you loved that person?
Disclaimer: I would like to let you know that English is not my mother tongue, I may even make some mistakes in the elaboration of sentences in my posts. Feel free to correct me attentively. It will help me in my learning process.
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