The price of being yourself

February 3, 2022. No. 147

Cupid walks without wings down my street.

It happens that he shot Eva,

and not precisely in the name of Adam.

With these verses by Carlos Figueroa we enter that unexpected cosmos that is love; something that does not always arrive as it should: sometimes it is not reciprocated, other times it is, but it deteriorates, and there are times when it is just a mirage. The arrows of the "winged devil" are certainly dangerous when they are in poor condition or the pulse fails when shooting because infidelity can appear. She or he opts for a parallel relationship and then what is known cinematographically as a love triangle (which can also be square) is born.

Without honesty, there is no possible human happiness. There is no love where there are masks; the supreme pleasure of the interaction of two bodies and souls is cracked when things begin to be hidden when one is duplicitous in front of the other person —who may not know that we deceived her, but in the depths of her spirit she will feel it in some way. The unfaithful person is forced to premeditate, to chew every word he is going to say, and usually begins to invent stories that justify absences or late arrivals. It's like living three lives: one with your partner, one with your lover, and a fictional third that contains all the lies you've invented for one or both relationships. To the extent that adulteries accumulate, silences, laziness, lack of details, misunderstandings come, and it ends in irritability, bad actions, and even violence. The sedimentation of secrets increases insecurity, the fear of escaping traces left on the road, revealing evidence: there is nothing worse than the feeling of guilt, it is not possible to caress peace with the hands of a crime.

Antoine de Saint-Exùpery wrote that love is not looking at each other, it is looking together in the same direction. That is why it is highly recommended to project every day thinking that nothing is done for love if everything possible is not done.

There are relationships that reach such a point of rust, that when one of the two reacts and begins to have gestures again, or details similar to those of yesteryear, the other party begins to suspect: did she remember my birthday...? she kissed me on the back of the neck as she passed into the room…? Did she dedicate this book to me? Then, instead of corresponding to that blossoming, the suspicion begins: what is she up to who has those deferences to me? Some bee is circling her when she is so smarmy.

You will not know all that I am worth until I can be with you all that I am. Mutual trust is essential for continued growth; when doubts arrive, relationships begin to stop, to cool down, mist filters the light until the lovers stop seeing each other.

There is no disguise that can hide love for a long time where it exists, or pretend it where there isn't. Miguel de Cervantez said that there can be love without jealousy, but not without fear. Between two who really love each other, there are no doubts, it is assumed that authentic relationships are based on maximum trust. How can you love someone in whom you don't have faith, in what way they give themselves fully if they don't even believe in each other? A different thing is fear, the one that always goes with the one who loves. But the fear of losing the one who encourages us to give ourselves every second as if it were the last, for not reaching its depths, for not being able to embrace its spirit, for believing that its body is not capable of giving it all the wonder it deserves. ; that fear rises and leads us to get extra at every moment.

The difference between fear and jealousy is that the former is altruistic and the latter selfish. The one who fears admires, and wants to be more because he believes that the other deserves it. The one who is jealous mistrusts, and fears for himself, for being ridiculous; he sees in his partner an enemy, an infiltrator in his ranks, not an accomplice. He believes that under every caress there is a dagger.

Are you like this? Do you love or jealous?

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