Fire in the Kitchen 1 I've read different articles about cooking various dishes. We've got so many people that love testing various recipes and they constantly keep us salivating with pictures of various delicacies made by them. Hardly does a day go by without @PVMihalache posting on noisecash. If looking at a picture excessively can quench hunger, believe me, I will go to his page every day staring at the dishes all day long. I'm sure I'm not the only one that licks his lips anytime @tired_momma post another meal she prepared over the weekend. I'm surely looking for a way to strike a deal with Tia or Jigz to help me steal her recipe and send it. Please let these secrets be between you (my readers) and i. Enough of talking about these yummy-looking dishes. Let me take you through memory lane. I will tell you different instances when I set the Kitchen on fire. You will know what I mean as you read on. I need to apologise. I don't have picture evidence to back up my story because I never thought I would ever write about it someday. Why are they identical?... If I have my way, I will request that salt and Sugar should have different colours. Maybe a blue pigment will do. Here in Nigeria, our salt and sugar are both white. The sizes and texture is the only difference. Sorry! And the taste. So it happened that I was at my plastic limit while in year one. I was the only one in the hostel, lonely, hungry and broke. I had no money on me to eat out. So I decided to cook the last of my foodstuff. "***This is my last supper. I should make it worth it"*** I said to myself. I took all the ingredients I had and mixed it all as was my usual practice. I have no time to wait for the water to boil or oil to get hot. The aroma of my meal must have gotten to the nostrils of my flatmates because they kept on walking in front of my room. Each time they pass, they drag their legs and also throw compliments at me. I was feeling so proud. Why shouldn't I? A whole "chef valour" It was time to add salt. . I do use my hand to measure the salt I need. This way I don't over measure or under-measure. There is this deep connection between my hands, brain and the food. Yes! The food. I speak with the food I'm cooking always and we understand ourselves **(a** ***brief pause-please say out loud "Chef Valour***). But on this faithful day, I was still basking in the Euphoria of being praised, I decided to show one of my skills. I poured the "salt" directly without measure with my hands. I gauged it with my eye. Chef Valour is da*n too good. After few minutes I tasted the food but it was as if I didn't add any salt. I poured more and took another spoonful to taste but it was still the same. I then noticed that my rice was tasting sweet a little. I decided to add more "salt" but this time, I dipped my hands into the container. Immediately my hands touched it, I felt the texture and it dawns on me that I've been pouring Sugar into the rice since. I couldn't cry. I sat down for minutes contemplating what to do next. This was meant to be my "***last supper"***. I already used all the ingredients I have. I even poured sardine into it. "***Chef Valour you've fu*ked up***". But as an international chef with a lot of experience. lol. I decided to add salt to neutralise the taste of the sugar. I added it but the taste remained. I then went on to add a large quantity to neutralise it and also add to the taste. To cut the long story short. It was a "Disaster class" a big one.π However, it was indeed a "last supper" because I ate solemnly with a sad face. Thanks for reading!π₯ππ ***Tomorrow I will bring to you another piece of how I set the kitchen on fire again. This time in conjunction with my immediate older brother.*** ***To all potential girlfriends don't let this discourage you. Valour is now a great cook so do not tarry in sending in your request . I can cook tasty dishes like PVM. Trust me-just read the continuation Tomorrow to know better. Love you all "girlfriends "***
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32 comments
I haven't tried burning our kitchen though but I tried using sugar as my salt way back in my teenage years. I am not a good cook and up to now, I am still struggling to cook my food.
We are brothers thenπ
Haha, cheers for being brothers then. ππ
I'm not gifted in cooking . But somehow it can be studied until we can have it as a skill. I read from a book that "COOKING WORTH TEN TALENTS. " So I eagerly learning how to cookπ€£
How good are you in the kitchen Chef Valour
Chef Valour you've fu**ed up π€£π€£π€£ Lol thank you for the mention. But you know I never like cooking before and I love instant noodles, can goods π And I always burn the rice, my father wasn't happy. So the first course I took was hotel and restaurant management and I didn't like it. I don't like the idea that we have to buy those expensive ingredients to cook the food just for the teacher to taste. π€£π€£π€£ It made my family broke. Haha and I still didn't learn to cook lol. But I guess when you have a family it will come out naturally. I started in YouTube watching and nobody eats it the first time. I'm better now π
I think i will start watching YouTube Videos too. Maybe someday I'll get it.
I also poured a lot of salt in one of our viands. Lol. The soup and the meat absorb the saltiness and I can't make any amends even if I put a lot of water. π€£
Hahahah...I am laughing hardly,so you added sugar instead of salt.I can understand your plight at that time when you realised it and due to the lack of money you had to eat it,because there was no other choice. But I am glad now you have learnd to cook in better way.
LMAO, you being like many nobs, confused between sugar and salt. but don't worry, mistakes always teach us something. Next time you will be clear in both of them and I am sure you will come up with something great
I remember my sister too with this HappyBoy.. I admit it her first time cooking at that time but poorly she's failed. She added salt too much and the taste is..ππ
Hahaha cooking can be learned as well if you really want to be chef you can learn it by reading recipes and follow guides how to cook in youtube. Hahaha so funny instead of adding salt you add sugar the taste must be gross π€£
π€£π€£ i laughed while reading this ched valour. Especially the last part. Indeed your last supper, last as in you won't gonna try it again. π€£
Pictures... I want pictures
Lolz, it would have made sense if it was just a plain rice but the lessons were well learned. You really made me laugh bro
ππ wow! That was really funny. Sugar and salt!! That really is a disaster. I'm sure you've learnt your lesson, "Chef Valour!"
Haha last supper gone wrong woosh π
Hahahaha! Can't help but laugh imagining how that meal tasted :D :D :D
The big chef, hahaha so the lady supper did not make sense. Did you actually dispose it or I should face my front ππ
Hahahahahaha. Wouldn't dare call you a chef. But I guess it doesn't matter. Girlfriend's please be on the queue, he will change for the better.
Wahahahahahaha, why that's so hilarious ahaha I mean haha. It become a sweet flavored foods hahaha
Hahahhaa. Sarap siguro niyan. π
Hahahha It tasted sweets lolππ
Lmaoo this is too funny, loved the disclaimer kinda thing at the end
Thats sweet π
Hahaha...this is hilarious. If you had eaten the food, you would sleep in the toilet for the whole day. Lol.
Your food has become a chemical reaction π that's no longer a kitchen but a laboratory
Omo...this is actually really funny ππ... Chef valour pon deckπ
I can't stop laughing. While I was reading, I thought that you could have turned that rice into a dessert. Maybe into a rice pudding. When I read then that you have added sardines too. LOL. I can't imagine the taste.π
More like last suffer than supper :D Here we have brown sugar and white sugar. There are white sugars that have the same texture as the salt so one must be careful.
Blame the salt and sugar for they have the same color π
π π π π chef valour indeed. You will need to prove to me that you can cook by cooking for me privately. I will have to believe after this so that I can allow some girl to rush youπππ