December 15, 2021

A while ago, I was reading a message of Demi Lovato about her depression. She decided to come out because her story is a taboo. She have mood swings, anger management issue and depression. She wants to help other people suffering the same that's why she decided to come out. It was a long long time ago that I found out about Demi Lovato but I failed to get the whole message. At present, I am not updated of what happened to her, but for sure she learned a lot from her dark experience and she is such an inspiration to many.

Way back from the past, I have a friend in college that had a depression after graduation. While we were busy working as it is our first time to have a job experience, she comes back to school from time to time because she misses being there. She don't have class, she just want to go inside our campus because it makes her happy. The feeling of being a student when you are not a student at all is such a bliss. She will just stay at our school park and will contact us and informing she is inside the school.

We didn't notice she is sad. Honestly, I find it weird that she was sticking herself inside the school where she should be looking for a job. She said she is attached anything and everything about our school. It makes her happy indeed, I can feel from the sound of her voice whenever she calls me.

One day, after 6 months, she said she still visits school. She invite us to visit inside the campus again one Saturday afternoon. Since I am free during the weekend I went for a meet up. It was fun. There were students at the campus and we visited and stayed in some of our classroom. We toured ourselves around. It was very interesting.

When we stayed at the campus park she told she is sad. It didn't reflect in her face though. She said that once she get home, she will change the face that she is wearing. She said that at their home, she will just watch television, eat, sleep and talk to her family. Her schedule is like that every day. If she didn't visit school, she will just lock herself in her room.

One day she felt she wants to get a knife and stab herself. I was startled that suddenly she opens that up. Never in my life I will imagine me stabbing myself, what on earth she is thinking? She said she is very sad. Nothing can make her happy but to stay in school.

After hearing that out, I was worried about her. Every single day I pray for her. I pray that she will not hurt herself. I asked the help of our psychology professor and she immediately call her attention when she visited the school again.

I learned after a year that she is visiting a psychiatrist and undergoing therapy. It was a long journey because she was in deeper state of depression. Sometimes I accompany her. I make time for her. I have my own problems to deal with, but what happening to her is what really matters to me that time. I don't want her to fail and succumb to what she is feeling.

I text her everyday. I call her at night. Sometimes she don't feel like talking but I make sure that on the other day, we will have a conversation. I even jot down some funny jokes that I see in the Internet. I send her links of inspirational movies to download. Sometimes we meet up and we exchange journal. We have this journal that we write to each other when we don't see each other. We will just share what happened to us in a day, what we do, new stories, what we learned just to be updated. I call our psychology professor to know the updates about her and she said that she have mood swings and depression. She was having a hard time but it is good that I was there for her and some of our classmates.

One day I received a letter. It is from snail mail. She could email me or write in the journal but she had letter through a snail mail. I received it at home. The letter had a title "You Stand Up for Me". I am not sure if that is a poem, it looks like it, but still it is a message of gratitude and hope.

In that letter, she said that it will be her last letter to me. She will not write a journal anymore but she will keep all the journal we had exchanged. During the time that she is down, she never thought that there will be one person that will stay by her side. She share dthat she never tell her family what she was going through and I am the only one who knows what was going on with her. She proved that I am not just a friend but a sister not blood related, but more than of it. She told me that my strength became her strength and nothing she will ever wish for but my happiness.

She felt that she become a burden to me because of her situation that is why she promised that she will be okay. She gave me all her plans and even share her future goals. She said that I have nothing to worry about as she will take care of herself. That I need to give her 5 years to be completely okay. I really cried out because she will not be communicating to me anymore. It hurts that I am taking care of her but she wants to be free. I gave her freedom and in a span of 2 years we met up and she looks stunning.

We had a big hug when we finally met at the airport. She looks happy and told me she is genuinely happy. Up until that time she is thanking me for stepping out by taking care of me. Healing is a process for her and it was not easy. What make sher survive is me, she said. She loves that there is one person that believes to what I say that is why I always asked God to take care of her.

She said that I must be proud of myself. I was the one who's cheering her. She said I looks happy and contented. On the other side, because of her story, I can easily had an instinct in reading people. I can easily tell that there is a problem or a person has been going through something. I became aware and I feel oblige to help because I always remember her.

I realised standing up for someone who are weak and into depression really needs a strong heart. We all have our own battles but we are also here to stand up for some of the battles other's are facing. Being strong is not only for ours, but also for others. We can save lives for just bring there.

I am saying thank you for these people who are behind my strong will to write and enjoy this platform. Thank you amazing sponsor!!

Before I end, have you stand up for someone so that they can able to stand for themselves? Remember you exist not only because you need to live, but also to make other's lives worthiving.

Images from Unsplash