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I am Broken hearted

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Written by   253
2 months ago
November 23, 2022

Hello everyone even though I don't the energy, I still have the guts to say "hello". I am sad for today and even last Monday actually. I learned something that really hurt my heart. It was a deep cut and it hurts so bad. The problem is that, I cannot cry at home. I can't have a time for myself since everyone is around me there, even the pets are around me. I can only cry when I am in the bathroom, when I am taking a bath. I am pretending to be okay and normal when I am around people. I choose to be very busy to forget it even for a little while, but as soon as I am not working, I sink. I think my heart wants to explode.

If only I can share the full details here but I can't because my source will never allow me. It is legit source and we have been getting information from her ever since.

Let me return to the real topic. What do you do when you are having broken hearts?

I thought I am good in handling this kind of emotion as it happens to me lot of times. My first broken heart was when I was in my elementary. I don't understand what I feel that time and I thought I was just hurt and sad. I shared what I feel to my mother but I didn't share that I was the one feeling it, instead I used someone for my own story. I created a character because I was worried that my mother will get mad at me for feeling that way. She gave me advises for the character I am making and she said that it is part of growing up. Appreciating someone because they make you happy is a good feeling, but expecting them to give care in return is a big no. That is what my mother said. She advised that I should move forward if the other person choose to not to return to favor. She even said that having broken heart is a lethal and fatal so I should be careful with my heart.

Since then I always remember her advises, but still I put myself in the situation that I will be the one that will hurt badly. That is the mistake I kept on doing over and over. It seems I am not willing to learn from it. I guess when it comes to love, I am very willing to get hurt and it is always my decision to get hurt.

I cannot say that I am happy with that person and the person he chooses to be with. I am not happy for them. I will not wish for a better relationship either yet I will not wish for a bad one. This time, I decided to choose myself and what I really feel. I need to be true to myself. I am on the acceptance part but still I can't accept it. He hurt me and he doesn't care. I care about him, I choose to care for now but I don't know how long will it takes to be in that situation. I even don't know what to say because I am afraid to live a life with this pain. I don't like this pain. I give it all to God and I hope God will give me a good life so that I can forgive myself for doing this. I am dying for everyday of my life.

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Guys, I know you become sad after reading it. I apologize. I know you feel sorry for me and will ready to give me advises. May I ask you to please pray for me so that I can decide clearly. I feel like I am going to be depress and it is hard because since Monday I am pretending to be okay. I am not okay but I will still live with it until the pain is gone. Please pray for me. I'm crashing down.

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Written by   253
2 months ago
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Comments

Having someone with whom you can share everything openly is important. You may feel relieved. I think everyone has some goals. Focusing on the goals and working for them will help to move forward.

Love will come in time. Don't need to be desperate for that. It does not matter what other people are doing. Think about your family and do what you think is good for you and your future.

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2 months ago

Sorry to hear that, your feelings are valid. Time will heal. Love yourself more

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2 months ago

that's very heart broken story, and I can feel the pain you have there inside you. Maybe all you can do for the moment divert your attention to anything anyone. but before doing that, pray deeply to God, offer to him all your heart aches, even your speechless in delivering your prayers, God can feel your tears and what your heart really feels right now. There are days that weren't in our side, but that's not forever it can end maybe not now but I'm sure it will. Be strong my hugs for you. Life is really tough we experienced that but not the same situations.

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2 months ago

I think that the best you can do is leave the past behind and face a new life

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2 months ago

I really hope so

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2 months ago

Masakit sobra sis at hindi basta basta mawawala pero in time kusa na lng yan maghealed with the help of prayer and pagtulong mo sa sarili mo

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2 months ago

Di ko nga alam kung pano ko tutulungan ang sarili ko eh

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2 months ago

Yaan mo muna sa ngaun kusa mo din yan marealize na pagod ka na at natnggap mo na

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2 months ago

tama ka dyan sis, sana agad-agad mangyari

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2 months ago

Kaya mo yan sis, wag kang magpapatalo sa nararamdaman mo

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2 months ago

Ganyan talaga ang buhay ,everyone of us experienced different kinds of heartbreaks basta pakatatag ka lang ,be strong ,accept what ever happens and always pray to God. Sending my hugs to you..🤗

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2 months ago

Thank you sis

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2 months ago

Sis be strong. Naniniwala ako na kaya mo sis. In a right time sis, makakakilala ka din ng lalaking para sayo na sis. Yung andyan lagi para sayo.

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2 months ago

Sana wala na akong makilala sis, mas okay yun

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2 months ago

Feel the pain until it hurts no more. Pray it really helps, accept that its not meant to be. If you cannot tell it to someone write in a piece of paper all your emotions, what are you currently feel. Trust me it will helps 😉

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2 months ago

I will definitely do that, thank you

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2 months ago

Good

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2 months ago

Sabi nga nila you pag di mo naranasang masaktan sa pag ibig it mean di mo pa nafefeel ang tunay na pagmamahal.So that's part of life sis.Normal lang yan.Eventually makakaget over ka din sa pain na yan.Be strong and know your worth

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2 months ago

In so sorry for you sis. Mahirap talag a masaktan. Yun bang onse sided yung love. Mahirap kasi sa babae di natin gawu yung tayo nag nanliligaw and most of all di natin mapipilt yung tao na suklian ang pagmamahal natin.

Sana you'll realize... No the day will sooo. Come that you'll see someone better who wil trrta you and love you the way you were never been loved before

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2 months ago