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How not to be a retarded Shitcoin Salesman

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Avatar for Geri
Written by   88
1 year ago

Sometimes, normies will approach you, and ask you about what a cryptocurrency is. Maybe you just paying your coffee with cryptocurrency, and your friends are interested to see what payment method are you use. Sometimes they try to invest their money, and ask for your opinion. There are typical failures when a cryptocurrency user explains cryptocurrencies to people, who have no experience with anything similar technology. I will collect a few examples of these discussions, and show better examples about the methods of more proper explanations.

Failure 1: The conspiracy theorist

<normie> What are you use to pay for this pizza?
<coinist> This is Bitcoin Cash.
<normie> Oh so now Bitcoin exists in cash as well?! NICE!
<coinist> Oh no, not. The Bitcoin Cash is a fork of Bitcoin.
<normie> A fork? *looks at his fork while he is trying to slit the pizza*
<coinist> The original Bitcoin is a scam, its hijacked by a corporation, its bad!
<normie> Oh.
<coinist> Bitcoin Cash is the true Bitcoin! Its the coin that resembles the original plans of Satoshi!
<normie> Satoshi, the Pokemon hunter?
<coinist> No. Satoshi, the inventor of Bitcoin. Wana try it?
<normie> No thanks.

Your normie friend already found out that you are not perfectly normal. He will not just wont do cryptocurrency ever, but he will also not eat a pizza with you any more. What went wrong in this discussion? Everything! Lets see a proper example of this conversation:

<normie> What are you use to pay for this pizza?
<coinist> This is Bitcoin Cash.
<normie> Oh so now Bitcoin exists in cash as well?! NICE!
<coinist> No. Bitcoin Cash is a new cryptocurrency, which is intended to be used as easy as cash.
<normie> So its some form of Bitcoin?
<coinist> Yes, but its a different cryptocurrency, so if you confuse Bitcoin with Bitcoin Cash, you will lose your money.
<normie> Ok. Its good to know. How it works?
<coinist> It works similarly to any other cryptocurrency. Do you want to try it?
<normie> Whatever. Show it, let me see.

Your pizza-buddy was not overwhelmed by some internal wars, which you are still fighting in your mind, despite of winning/losing it four years ago! He also determined that you are competent enough, warned him not to confuse different type of cryptocurrencies together. He is interested in coins, and he will sometimes ask more questions about it.

Failure 2: Bitcoin Cash is the best coin!!!4411

<normie> What cryptocurrency do you recommend to buy?
<coinist> Bitcoin Cash.
<normie> Why that?
<coinist> Bitcoin Cash is the number one cryptocurrency with 10 minute block size. Bitcoin Cash is the BEST cryptocurrency on the world. All other cryptos are run by little girls. 32 MByte block size is a marvel to behold. All other coins have inferior blockchain, except Bitcoin, but those have a bone in their brain.
<normie> What the flying fuck?!
<coinist> Bitcoin Cash will dominate the planet, you must buy it right now, its prepared to process all payments of the planet, its the ONLY TRU PATH.
<normie> No thanks, please don't talk to me any more.

You successfully alienated the normie from the world of cryptocurrency with your autistic aggression. With the vehemency of an unemployed vacuum cleaner agent, you already convinced the normie that you are a ponzi scammer. He is just about to delete you from his contact list, and block your number in his phone.

Lets see a proper version of this convo:

<normie> What cryptocurrency do you recommend to buy?
<coinist> I recommend you to check the top 200 coins on coinmarketcap.
<normie> Thats a lot.
<coinist> Yeah, there are a lot of coins. But you have to personally research them before you put your money in.
<normie> Which one do you personally have?
<coinist> I have Bitcoin Cash, Monacoin, Dogecoin, (whatever coins).
<normie> Hmm.. interesting. Why you choose these?
<coinist> I have choose Monacoin, because its very popular in Japan, so when i do micro-jobs or hentai art for Japanese people, they can send me Monacoin. I use Bitcoin Cash because its a popular way to sell content online, and it has a block chain with the capacity to carry out almost a million transactions in every hour. I use *whatever coin* because of *whatever*.
<normie> That sounds very good. I think i will try some of those you have recommended!
Various coins have various user-base, and they are used differently by different communities. If a musca flies into your eyes, you use eye drops - if you have allergies, you buy a nasal spray. There is no universal medicine that cures everything. Baking soda will not cure your cancer. You have a hammer which you use to hammer in nails to the wood. Then you have a chainsaw which you use to cut the tree. Various tools are for various purpose - this is true for cryptocurrencies as well. Offer the normie multiple choices, and explain him, how you use them, what are your experiences by using them. At the end, as a conclusion, he will do his own research, or try out some of the coins you have introduced to him. Do not try to -falsely- hail one particular coin like its the ultimate coin, because there are no such coins. Not even Bitcoin Cash is one.

Failure 3. Investing

<normie> How much money should i invest?
<coinist> You should invest your life savings into Bitcoin Cash!
<normie> LOL no.

Even your normie, who knows nothing about investments, cryptocurrencies, and money, will still not put all of his money into just one bag. To invest successfully, a diverse portfolio is required.

<normie> How much money should i invest?
<coinist> You must invest notable money to have notable gains, but dont invest that much money that can bankrupt you.
<normie> What returns can i expect from Bitcoin Cash?
<coinist> You should not expect any returns from just investing into a single cryptocurrency. Maybe you just lose all of your money.
<normie> What to do then?
<coinist> You should invest money into all of your favorit cryptocurrencies. Also, dont just invest into crypto - invest into other things as well. For example, if you think that the price of jeans jackets will go up, then buy a few second hand jeans jackets, and try to sell them later on - with profit. You should use a conscious investment strategy, and various cryptocurrencies must be part of your investment portfolio as well.
<normie> I think i understand. What is considered a good return from crypto?
<coinist> In a 5 year long span, i think you can expect a 2x return. But prepare to lose on your first few investments!
<normie> How do i pay taxes from it?
<coinist> You dont, do it secretly!

Give wise advice to the normie. Tell him about the dangers of investments without scaring him. Use simple examples to make him understand what an investment is. Make it clear that he should not trust any of the cryptocurrencies, any of the exchanges, and he should not trust the state as well. External factors is the enemy of the investors.

Failure 4. Referring to non-existing giants.

<normie> Where the value of a cryptocurrency is coming? Where can i spend it?
<coinist> OMG EVERY SERIOUS CORPORATION ACCEPT CRYPTO! Even heard about Über and Starbucks?
<normie> *goes into a Starbucks and cant pay with Bitcoin*

Do not make bold claims about the popularity of cryptocurrency. Cryptocurrency is mostly only used in online trade and in the world of micro-jobs. Do not cite old articles saying that even Microsoft accepts it - they discontinued it ages ago. Explain the popularity of cryptocurrency properly:

<normie> Where the value of a cryptocurrency is coming?
<coinist> The value of the cryptocurrency is coming from the value of the work the members of the community put into the coin. So its quite unpredictable and volatile.
<normie> So i cant really rely on it?
<coinist> If you have some business, you can accept cryptocurrency for it. If you see some business around to you, which accepts cryptocurrency, then you can pay them in cryptocurrency.

Educate the normie about online web sites, where people can pay each other in cryptocurrencies. A normie will maybe imagine the spending of cryptocurrency as people going to some restaurant and paying cryptocurrency for their coffee. Indeed, there are such places exist, this is not how cryptocurrency is being used. Explain him about how he can insert cryptocurrency into his own business flow, to earn and spend it wisely!

Failure 5. GIB KOIN

<normie> I am interested to try out cryptocurrencies. Can you lend me some?
<coinist> Sure, here is 15$.

*one week later, normie disappears*

Do not give out money for free. Make it clear, this is a money, form of a payment. Its not something you can get for free. Everyone must offer something to get cryptocurrency. That's how cryptocurrency will gain the value. Make him work for the money, then he can get the cryptocurrency he wants.

<normie> I am interested to try out cryptocurrencies. Can you lend me some?
<coinist> I also wanted to ask you for something.
<normie> What it is?
<coinist> Remember your Tamagotchi you had in elementary school, which had those Pokemons?
<normie> Yes i, still have it somewhere. You want it?
<coinist> Yes, in exchange, i send you $15 of Bitcoin Cash.

You get something, and the normie also gets something. The normie will instantly know that how valuable, dangerous, and volatile the world of cryptocurrencies are. Ask something from it, even if you dont really need that Tamagotchi. Cryptocurrency should not be a paradise of communist freeriders.

Failure 6: X.Y. Is the satan/a scammer/a saint/jesus christs reincarnation

<normie> Who is the main leader of your project?
<coinist> It's Roger Ver (insert other names here if you are not part of the BCH gang)
<normie> *Googles Roger Ver, finds a website which falsely says he was trading with bombs*
<normie> This website says he was jailed for selling bombs.
<coinist> ROGER VER WAS SENTENCED TO JAIL AS A PART OF A CONSPIRACY. He was trading with agricultural petards to scare the pests from lands! The evil BTC maximalists try to shed bad light on him for this!

Do not try to be overly protective of people in the community. Be objective, and explains how the things unfolded. There are no people without crimes or sins, but if you explain what and why they did, you can objectively show the situation:

<normie> Who is the main leader of your project?
<coinist> It's Roger Ver.
<normie> *Googles Roger Ver, finds a website which falsely says he was trading with bombs*
<normie> This website says he was jailed for selling bombs.
<coinist> Partially true. Actually, he was trading with agricultural petards against pests on Ebay without permission. He was captured after he probably was reported by one of his statist competitors. He was offered to be sentenced only to multiple months of light-prison, if he pleads guilty. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJ07sM5w_Dk ). The judge actually deceived him, and he got housed in a real prison facility, where he was tortured by the guards on several occasions. After he was released, he decided to fight against the oppressive, rotting state.
<normie> Wow, what a shitty world we live in!

Its enough to simply just explain the situation objectively. You don't have melt down mentally or start to debate like crazy, even if someone cites something from the past of someone from your favorite coins, or even from yourself. Explain the thing in 2-3 short sentence, maybe link a video about it, but do not over-discuss it, because its probably irrelevant anyway.

Failure 7: Trying to satisfy every retard

<normie> OH MY GOD BITCOIN IS USED TO TRAFFIC CHILDREN ON THE DEEP WEB
<coinist> Cryptocurrency is mostly used for legal purposes.
<normie> OH THOSE DRUG ADDICTS! OH MY GOD! YOU ADVERTISING MAFIAMONEY!
<coinist> I am not part of the mafia, i have earned all my cryptocurrency for legal activity.
<normie> I don't believe you! You serial killer! You are the enemy of the world peace!

Sometimes, you can encounter mentally unstable people. We are living in an era when certain people never really had to face consequences of their acts. You don't have to tolerate, comfy and/or debate every strange snowflake and harasser just because they talk about cryptocurrency with you. Talking to you is not a right - its an opportunity!

<normie> OH MY GOD BITCOIN IS USED TO TRAFFIC CHILDREN ON THE DEEP WEB
<coinist> Dollar, Euro, Yuan, is also used to trafic children.
<normie> OH THOSE DRUG ADDICTS! OH MY GOD! YOU ADVERTISING MAFIAMONEY!
<coinist> I don't care about the oppinion of someone who looks like he was farted out from an elephant.
<normie> REEEEEEEE

Do not waste the time on trolls, statists, mentally unstable people. Do not allow people to screech at you. If they annoy you, don't be afraid to send them back to their mothers womb, and block them on the internet. Just like you would block people who try to debate you on some different reason: like their favorit computer manufacturer brands, favorit cloth bands, treat the retards similarly when they try to talk about coins with you. If they harass you in real life, don't be afraid to smash their faces a few times, because maybe they didn't realized what you are. After all, you are not some random pussy, you are a freedom fighter who fights for financial freedom, and fights against statism. Spend only time on those who worth of it!

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Avatar for Geri
Written by   88
1 year ago
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Comments

The first conversation was funny 😂

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1 year ago

Good article

$ 0.00
1 year ago

This is fantastic thanks for sharing

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1 year ago

Haha, interesting and hilarious. Nice blogging. But Hail BCH! 😂

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Basically a lot of it comes down to social skills and understanding what people are actually interested in.

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1 year ago

They come in all shapes and sizes but apparently only one gender.

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1 year ago

And that gender is an attac helicopter? :D

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1 year ago

I had a fun time reading, cryptocurrency popularity is usually in the online world, try to talk about it with offline people and they will be like “huh? what are you talking about?”

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Thankyou. My experience is offline and online people know about it equally (next to nothing), the offline-mode people usually know bitcoin, and online people are like: no thankyou, please keep your shitcoins.

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1 year ago

Oh well yeah you are right, offline people know Bitcoin but they didn't know what's the use of it 😆

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1 year ago

Bitcoin, bch, segwit, those are depressional words🤧🤧

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1 year ago

-And then, we tried to kill the Segwit with a fork!

-Oh my god, did he was able to escape?!?! Was someone arrested?

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1 year ago

Can't get any words.. My headache's increasing 😪

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1 year ago

Nice article,i will subscribe you can do for me too!

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1 year ago

Uh, Roger Ver isn't the project leader, he's just a Big Block Bitcoin shill that started with BTC, then Segwit2x, then BCH. Good points for the rest though.

EDIT: Saved the article for later.

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1 year ago

Thats somewhat true, there are no single leader in BCH.

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1 year ago